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| Topic: breaking up and coping | |
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rain frog am glad you put him in his place ..well am going through some ordeal of my own..was dumped via an email what mature adult would do that expect a 28 year old guy hmm anyhow when i asked him to meet and talk i wanted to just look him in his face when he tells me those words .I met him and i asked him if there is anything i would have done to change the situation and he said no so i wished him luck and told him i got to be somewhere i swear when i saw his face he was crying saying he didnt expect my reaction and thought that maybe it was a relief for me .Well i just raised my head high and walked out of that coffee shop with my dignity un touched.that was on the 17th of December after buying him christmas presents was so glad to take them back and get my money back..Anyhow i rejected his please of friendship why would i wanna be his friend jeez can you guys plz come up with another line afer dumping a woman coz that is old school anyhow told him i dont need him a a friend and i dont wanna hear from him.Around the 24th he started calling my cell i didn't respond he left a vm asking me if i can call him i did the Nc (no contact) its a great technique to use if you want to get over anyone block any communications btn the two of you no calling,texting,public websites just forget they exist and try to concentrate on yourself that's what i did and i tell you wow it does work after a week he was calling non-stop and at the end he wanted to meet for coffee i was ok with it but i had no expectations so we met i guess he was throwing bread cramps at me thinking am gonna stick around told him am so great and had a lot going on for me .kept the conversations short he spent most of the time talking about his life than i did..anyhow when i saw him again i was so over it and when we hugged it was kinda weird coz honestly i still care for him but i cant settle for second best and his gonna have to work his *** off to proove to me or else i deserve the best love out there .So to all you wonderful guys and ladies out there that were hurt by selfish people just know we are here to listen and just try to share experiences.Rain frog your experience had a wonderful ending and am glad you really let go coz u deserve better than that. |
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i broke up humm about 9 months ago.. my ex tried to pull some bs lmao! never wanted kids hisself... so he has his ex gf <that was one between our last two relationships together> yes i was a fool lol , i went back to him.. anyhow had her say she was preggo.. that she was moving up here from cali.. and they were gonna buy a house together... ha ha good for them.. he never wanted to be a father to his own son.. even after his son was here for all his life. hes 19 now.. she puts all this stuff on her pogo page profile, and he put some on his as well.. i emailed him and told him congrats on your baby to come.. lmao im sure u will be happy to see your next unwanted child graduate when u are 62! i guess i was supposed to be jealous? lol!!!!!!!! well i also said.. and wow how grand it is for her to know she is pregnant 1 month with your child after we broke up! i told him that was fast! cause i know he wasnt with her when he was with me.. to put a story short he was using that gal, to lie to get to me and she was dumb enough to do it! he also took over my best friends, had plenty of his own and started hanging out with them all the time. so i would not bother to go around.. hence i realized they were a part of getting back at me as well.. i dont have many friends that are close.. still not close to them again, never will be.. and im good with that.. however he doesnt hang out with them anymore.. i hung out with them for 16 yrs.. and he had for maybe 3 of the 6 yrs we were together on and off.. i just figure he can take his preggo gal , that he is having "his child" with, go buy their house and enjoy his two new friends, get married and live happly ever after.. i do not talk to him.. only i think that once , no twice we also exchanged our things at each others houses.. end of story.. i could care less what is going on in his life.. for it was a very easy thing to do let go for good of him.. since its happened 2 other times... let me tell u it was a grand feeling this last time! i never felt better..
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i dont now that my story even belonged in here... cause there was no coping about it for me.. although my coping was cloud 9! it felt so grand! i had coped too many times before that with him. mine was an instant let go feeling.. nothing better than that..
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IV Been heart broken to bits my girl shevleft me deserted lts been 4years now an am not over her l think about her every day it left me on depression so am taking medicen , really she told me she loved me an played around with my feeling yep am week person an l need some comforting talk too me any one what can l doo?
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For a year after my husband left, I didn't deal with it. I just breathed. Everyday that I took care of my kids, went to work, just kept moving felt like sucess.
One day I realized I really wasn't dealing with my emotions at all and the only way to move forward was to deal with how I felt. I found a support group, stopped hiding in my house and am now trying to figure out who I am and what I like. It's not the easiest thing to go through but I will be a better and stronger person for it. 
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..personally i have come to the realization that most people SUK AZZ and have little or no morals,and are pretty much out to take what they can so i don't even bother to date ..some people call it negativity..i call it reality... 
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IV Been heart broken to bits my girl shevleft me deserted lts been 4years now an am not over her l think about her every day it left me on depression so am taking medicen , really she told me she loved me an played around with my feeling yep am week person an l need some comforting talk too me any one what can l doo? I'm sorry Sukhi4U, I certainly know how you feel, it's hard when you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with them and that doesn't happen. Reality is we now have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and go forward. I try not to think about the past anymore, just my future. The past is too hard for me so I just don't go there anymore, isn't going to do me any good to ponder on what should have been 'cause it's not going to ever happen. So, I try to find things that make me happy and excited to be alive. Even if it's small things. I have a 17 yr old son that I still have to live for. I just moved into an apartment 4 months ago, we got to spend the holidays together, I've been looking for old friends on Face book. Re-contact with some of your old buddies. I just found an old friend that I haven't seen in 20 years and what's even funnier is he lived in the same community as me just one street over. I'm thrilled to have found him. Now I have somebody to hang out with again, he's single too. Everyone wants to know if there is a possibility of a romance with him. Hard for me to see it that way because he's always been a best friend but you never know. Are the meds helping you any? I've considered it but I don't want to become dependent on them. You're not weak Sukhi, you're still broken-hearted. You loved her. What do you like to do? Hobbies? Working out? Just find something you like and keep doing it. Hang in there! |
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For a year after my husband left, I didn't deal with it. I just breathed. Everyday that I took care of my kids, went to work, just kept moving felt like sucess. One day I realized I really wasn't dealing with my emotions at all and the only way to move forward was to deal with how I felt. I found a support group, stopped hiding in my house and am now trying to figure out who I am and what I like. It's not the easiest thing to go through but I will be a better and stronger person for it. Good for you for finding a support group, probably the best thing you could have done for yourself. I think that's why I try to talk about it when I can. Being on these websites is "therapy" for me. lol I did actually go to a therapist for about 7 months though, it helped. I decided right away when my ex left that I wanted to feel what was happening because I knew that was the only way I would heal. I knew the longer I put it off the longer it would take for me to deal with it. So, here I am nearly a year after the day he walked and I am very much a stronger person. A little bruised and battered but stronger. Take care and just to let you know time does heal wounds! Susan |
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I hear all of you...it's been 6 years since my ex and I broke up and I'm still trying to get past the self esteem beatings she gave me...I gave her everything I could give and she greedily sucked all the passion from my sole...I can't bring myself to get close to anyone for fear that the next person I let in will only do the same...I think I need a shrink...or some good meds...
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..personally i have come to the realization that most people SUK AZZ and have little or no morals,and are pretty much out to take what they can so i don't even bother to date ..some people call it negativity..i call it reality...  
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Wed 01/27/10 09:21 PM
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I recommend chainsaws and wood to cut. Or driving t-posts and puitting up fence. Or any number of hard physical labor that leaves you mentally and physically wore out and to tired to give a rats arse. I agree. I also recommend chopping logs with an axe. and you need really big logs and hammer the axe into log with a sledge hammer until it cracks apart. I had this made in China axe that split into 2 after too much hammering. What a junk quality. If I got no logs to chop, I got two 25lb dumbbells to do curls, and if after all that i still got energy, I knock myself out completely by doing diamond push ups. It works really well after failed dates, stupid conversations with stupid women, and generally being frustrated on a daily basis of not having a relationship. Either that, or drink myself silly, but I just stay with knocking myself out with physical work to a point where I couldnt' care less if a giant meteor hits this planet wiping out all living things. |
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I hear all of you...it's been 6 years since my ex and I broke up and I'm still trying to get past the self esteem beatings she gave me...I gave her everything I could give and she greedily sucked all the passion from my sole...I can't bring myself to get close to anyone for fear that the next person I let in will only do the same...I think I need a shrink...or some good meds... Wow CaveMan, 6 years huh? I've only been out of my relationship well almost a year now, but I find myself doing the same thing. Not sure it's worth getting close to another guy just to be beat up again. I had 2 bad marriages the first for 16 yrs. the second for 3 1/2 yrs. I am feeling extremely gun shy these days. I would say try the shrink first, I did and it helped. I haven't tried the meds yet, but I've thought about it plenty. 
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all i can say is please hung in there and at times it takes a life time to get over someone especially if you feel in your heart they were your soul mates but usually we have a number of soul mates maybe if we deal with out emotions and let it out we can always get over the ones that break our hearts and simply move on to better people but its really hard but it takes time to get better and its ok to mourn a relationship since it meant a lot to you going on dates or trying to mingle when your still nursing a heart break wouldn't help but rather your only suppressing your feelings you need to mourn that relationship cry and do what there is for you to heal.Anyhow i need to give you an update on my coping so my ex calls me on Tuesday and wanted us to talk why cant they just leave us if they made decisions to leave us they always want to come back and see if we are still there i agreed to meet him and we talked a lot he told me he missed me and am still in his life i just asked him what he really wanted with me he said he wants to hung out and take it slow and go from there i told him i don't have the time to get confused only when he wants us to work on the issues that led to the end of the break up and want to try for a new relationship i don't want to see him and definitely don't want to be friends with him.At times its very helpful to just be straight with them and get the right answers i feel empowered now and i don't play games so right now that's where we are .One thing i realized though is things are never the same until you completely forgive them and i told him i forgave him for breaking my heart it hurt me but am over it and i told him we go through certain experiences in life coz we have to and then better opportunities come along you just need to believe .
Just remember to forgive them coz its not worth keeping that anger and hatred in you no matter how it ended you need to forgive yourself first then them and am sure you will have a better life and ready to move on. p.s always keep smilling. |
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how i coped after he cheated and wanted me back
 you had your chance you blew it now f off  still miss him tho |
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I went shopping.
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i'm coping now :(
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Edited by
Rainfrogs68
on
Thu 01/28/10 08:53 PM
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I went shopping. Oh, please tell me it was with her credit card!! 
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I went shopping. Oh, please tell me it was with her credit card!! But of course. I even took her Macy's card to buy me some shoes! 
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i know what you mean. a broke heart can feel bad and bitter anough to chew on a piece of lemon but thats just the down side of life. getting out for air, working on yourself and sharing experiences with people who've been thru the same things can ease the mind a little bit. sometimes you can break your own heart when breaking someone elses. smile and carry own
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My last breakup was after he broke my face. Literally. I take it one day at a time. It was awful.
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