all i can say is please hung in there and at times it takes a life time to get over someone especially if you feel in your heart they were your soul mates but usually we have a number of soul mates maybe if we deal with out emotions and let it out we can always get over the ones that break our hearts and simply move on to better people but its really hard but it takes time to get better and its ok to mourn a relationship since it meant a lot to you going on dates or trying to mingle when your still nursing a heart break wouldn't help but rather your only suppressing your feelings you need to mourn that relationship cry and do what there is for you to heal.Anyhow i need to give you an update on my coping so my ex calls me on Tuesday and wanted us to talk why cant they just leave us if they made decisions to leave us they always want to come back and see if we are still there i agreed to meet him and we talked a lot he told me he missed me and am still in his life i just asked him what he really wanted with me he said he wants to hung out and take it slow and go from there i told him i don't have the time to get confused only when he wants us to work on the issues that led to the end of the break up and want to try for a new relationship i don't want to see him and definitely don't want to be friends with him.At times its very helpful to just be straight with them and get the right answers i feel empowered now and i don't play games so right now that's where we are .One thing i realized though is things are never the same until you completely forgive them and i told him i forgave him for breaking my heart it hurt me but am over it and i told him we go through certain experiences in life coz we have to and then better opportunities come along you just need to believe .

Just remember to forgive them coz its not worth keeping that anger and hatred in you no matter how it ended you need to forgive yourself first then them and am sure you will have a better life and ready to move on.

p.s
always keep smilling.

castloveme

am so sorry to hear about that ..well people g through a lot especially when it comes to people with depression thas why you have to be careful how to handle situations with emotionally unstable people.Well sometimes its better not getting closure because as much as you need it its not gonna help you feel better but rather worse maybe at times its best to leave the unknown where it is.Everyone deserves closure but not everyone receives it but the only thing that makes it better is taking time to heal after all when you eventually move on its with someone better,stronger and who is going to make you feel better.Just because the people we cared for want a relationship to end it doesn't mean we are bad.mean people .If he doesn't find you attractive anymore trust me his going to go out there and try to look for greener pastures but wil be disappointed and will in the end come back crawling because it never gets greener but worse.hang in the re castloveme am sure things will get better and come to think about it your better off with a bi-polar person they are the worst emotionally draining people out there .so be glad your out of it..

hey susan

i actually enjoyed your post and it really doesn't matter how long it is as long as it helps you deal with whatever your going through its alright..I know the feeling of letting them actually kinda manipulate us gosh at times i just wanna scream at him for breaking my heart and still sending me mixed messages but hey its not worth it .Recently the text messages on how am doing are just driving me nuts i think i just wanna go away on vacation so that am out of reach .No contact does work until they start bothering you over and over about how your doing as if it matters to them thye just want o have their cake and eat it so today i was very busy with work and there comes another text askin me how my day went as if he cares ? duh i just deleted it and i felt that i had my power back and am just going to keep deleting if he doesn't want to be with me why would he care how my day went or my weekend and week.Susan i know its a hard time but time does heal the wounds . A few things that can help you cope is going back to the gym ,joining a volunteering organization,yoga also helps a lot too and you need to just enjoy your time get a funny movie and just enjoy life and when he decides your still good enough am sure he will know what to do but am done with throwing me bread crumbs.I hope you feel better susan because sometimes its hard but time makes it better .

underdog thanx for your comment but i was the mature one in that situation i didnt meet to ask him back i met him so that we break up in a more mature way and if it wasnt you how would you know if my dignity was touched ..this is not a forum of debate but rather sharing experiences .And unlike women men make quick decisions and sry to say underdog but he realized he had made a mistake but it was a lil bit too late.Some men just dont know how to communicate you just rush to quick decisions .Again this is a forum of sharing break up and coping experiences so plz no negativity here and dont be too harsh to judge someone's experience this is about sharing not conflicting or arguing abt anything.

rain frog am glad you put him in his place ..well am going through some ordeal of my own..was dumped via an email what mature adult would do that expect a 28 year old guy hmm anyhow when i asked him to meet and talk i wanted to just look him in his face when he tells me those words .I met him and i asked him if there is anything i would have done to change the situation and he said no so i wished him luck and told him i got to be somewhere i swear when i saw his face he was crying saying he didnt expect my reaction and thought that maybe it was a relief for me .Well i just raised my head high and walked out of that coffee shop with my dignity un touched.that was on the 17th of December after buying him christmas presents was so glad to take them back and get my money back..Anyhow i rejected his please of friendship why would i wanna be his friend jeez can you guys plz come up with another line afer dumping a woman coz that is old school anyhow told him i dont need him a a friend and i dont wanna hear from him.Around the 24th he started calling my cell i didn't respond he left a vm asking me if i can call him i did the Nc (no contact) its a great technique to use if you want to get over anyone block any communications btn the two of you no calling,texting,public websites just forget they exist and try to concentrate on yourself that's what i did and i tell you wow it does work after a week he was calling non-stop and at the end he wanted to meet for coffee i was ok with it but i had no expectations so we met i guess he was throwing bread cramps at me thinking am gonna stick around told him am so great and had a lot going on for me .kept the conversations short he spent most of the time talking about his life than i did..anyhow when i saw him again i was so over it and when we hugged it was kinda weird coz honestly i still care for him but i cant settle for second best and his gonna have to work his *** off to proove to me or else i deserve the best love out there .So to all you wonderful guys and ladies out there that were hurt by selfish people just know we are here to listen and just try to share experiences.Rain frog your experience had a wonderful ending and am glad you really let go coz u deserve better than that.

hmm thats gd to know black is good and white is just that so black and white hmmm...

well that says it all "once you go black you never go back" is this just a statement what do you think guys.am an ebony lady but so far i believe the statement..if your out there and are serious about knowing some chocolate beauty then come on...

we are all around you simon just come get us ..we don't sit on the pc all the time hony..

you ever got hurt and not sure who to turn o or talk to then this is the place for you ..are you still hurting and only here to mingle and try to mend a broken heart .well let ot all your feelings and of course please share your experience and how you have been coping .We are here to listen .