I know the following, from reading/presiding over forum boards for years.

1. People do not like one liners. for instance "hey babe you're hawt" or "hit me up if you wanna talk" "Get at me" I have seen that posted a million times, and it is an instant turn off, especially to women.

2. People like cordiality. An "upbeat" email is usually welcomed. A nice paragraph or two, showing a genuine interest in getting to know someone. A positive attitude is always preferred.

3. Don't cuss. I know society is more open to expletives nowadays, but people do find it offensive. Once some rapport has been established, and the other person is familiar with your mannerisms, then that may be acceptable. First contact emails should never contain expletives, or vulgar overtones.

4. Do not attempt to "sum up" your life story. Discussing old relationships, divorce etc. (again, establish some rapport) People do not want to read all that, when they do not even know you.

5. This one should be obvious... Never try to force a relationship. If you really like the person, (or think you do) then it's worth the time, to get to know them, and give them a chance to know you.

The above is not directed at the op, it is just solid advice, for anyone serious about finding a significant other.

What works best is: being honest, being interesting, replying to something mentioned in the profile of the one you are emailing, and being witty.

I never email anyone. It's a complete waste of time.

On other sites I email to complete stunners, who would make a tomato-and-cheese sandwich have an erection. It's not for any realistic hopes, but because I am a man and a man has got to do what a man has got to do. Show him a stunner and he thinks he can get her by saying something nice to her.

Of course I realize that a basement-dweller fat old **** like me will never get anywhere with these stunners, but you know the answer: I'm a man, and a man is a man is a man.

I never email anyone. It's a complete waste of time.

On other sites I email to complete stunners, who would make a tomato-and-cheese sandwich have an erection. It's not for any realistic hopes, but because I am a man and a man has got to do what a man has got to do. Show him a stunner and he thinks he can get her by saying something nice to her.

Of course I realize that a basement-dweller fat old **** like me will never get anywhere with these stunners, but you know the answer: I'm a man, and a man is a man is a man.

I rarely mail anyone anymore. Seems to be working great.

Bonus points for mentioning a llama.

If one cannot strike up a conversation about their pet llama, something is desperately wrong.