Do you ever wonder if being alone too long makes it tougher to adapt to a relationship when it arrives? When you start comparing potential mates to the glowing character of your dog, it's the beginning of the end for sure. For those that have been single for a while, do you worry about:

Having to account for your whereabouts
Spending more, saving less
Shaving your legs/beard/whatevah
The first time someone tries to step in with your dog/kid/business/etc.
Sharing the remote?

I like to think that falling in love allows us to turn a blind eye to the loss of such petty little privileges. But when you've spent too much time honing your independence, they've got to be harder to give up. Just musing. And hoping I haven't unwittingly fashioned myself into a terminally single person. Ha! Thoughts?

Yeah...I've thought of those things. Been divorced 11 years and one very short lived relationship since, and that was 5 years ago. I have thought of the adjustments, however it has also given me much time to grow in many ways so I'm up for it..

Ok...since I found this one again....lol

I don't wonder at all.

I KNOW that, if I do find someone, and it progresses to a point of considering living together, I am going to have a very difficult decision to make.

I have been alone for 5+ years. It's been just me and my critters.

My dog doesn't ask me where I've been. He doesn't tell me that he doesn't want me to go golfing because I don't spend enough time with him.

he knows not to bother me when I want to be left alone.

I have been alone long enough that I am completely comfortable with the way things are for me.

Someone coming in and disrupting that would be difficult at best.

Separate houses!!!!

Yep. Cuz then, if she got on my nerves, I could tell her to go home. LOL

Exactly!

It takes much emotional maturity to "merge" after so long...ya have to want it enough otherwise it won't work..if you are convinced it will be hard, it will be. Challenging yes, somethings are worth it. I'm always up for a good challenge..

I have my own "what I must do stuff" every day. I have my dogma things, such as "I must read the news on the web and there are about 5-6 different sites I must check. Sometimes it takes 2hrs. If I have to go somewhere at 7am, then guess what. I'm up at 5.

This is just one of the many things that I won't give up.

In my last relationship (over a year ago), it was a huge problem. And the one before that. If they can't cope with the fact, that I got stuff that I am interested in, then it's better to leave me alone.

No one should even be asked to give up such things as what you mention...that's where the maturity comes in. I have full moon fires in my yard, I have a regimented meditation practice, I like to take naps..
There are routines we all have, they should not be expected to be abandoned
to have a satisfying, healthy relationship.

I would love to have someone to come home to after a hard days work. By someone I don't mean a narcissistic cat, or family member (maybe in the future some children of my own, maybe some adopted children would be nice too.). My life goal is to live the "American Dream", you know? The nice white house with the picket fence, perfect family, nice dog, backyard summer bbqs, etc.

There's this girl that I dream about a lot. I'm not sure if she's based on someone from real life, or TV, or if I just created her in my mind, but sometimes I wonder if that's the closest I'll get to what I really want out of this world.

IDK, even though I don't have everything I want from this world, if I were to die right now, I would have all I need, and because of that, I would die a happy man.

I'm sorry. I was going to answer the post, but I got lost on the way and just started to ramble. Now, what was the question again?

*chuckles* It's all good. I think you're saying you're looking forward to a relationship enough that you don't count the cost.

All I have to say....is that the remote....IS MINE!!!

I have a trick I use where I distract you for a minute and get the remote...but I can't post it here, the thread will get moved.

Ahhhh....the old sexy dance routine with you dressed up as Grimace huh? Yeah....guys fall for that.

everytime!!

Independence in a partner scares some, while being alone scares others more. If someone holds your independence hostage to the shadow of your fear of being alone, you'll never find mutuality with them.

For me, it's a thousand times more preferable to be alone than to be with the wrong someone who is a manipulative control freak.

When Togetherness is forged from fear of consequences from the higher power in the relationship, you don't have Love-- you have a religion.

-Kerry O.

i myself would give up alot just to have someone there all the time. i haven't had a live in relationship ever since my daughter's mother and me split up, and that was when my daughter was four months old (she's now turning four in May) i'm fairly young, but my biggest fear is growing up alone. its just not a risk i'm willing to take. i do wish i could skip past the awkward parts though lol. like, meeting the parents for the first time, first time spending the night, being uncertain about doing certain things, etc. i like being in a comfort zone.

ironically, romance is often romanticized lol. live with no fear mate, fear is religion.
THAT'S RIGHT KERRYo, I STOLE YOUR LINE!

Reading between the lines, what I see is you don't like giving up some of the control in your life. You don't want someone coming in and leaving a mess you'd have to clean up. It's just too much work. I agree.

The last thing I want is someone who can't get their life together trying to shoe horn their way into mine. They bring no value to my life. I live where I live and you do the same. We'll both be happy and we can see each other when we want.

Hmm, maybe. Maybe there's some things we don't even think about giving up when it's time to do so, and others that would be really tough to give up if someone asked.

I'm thinking it would be pretty tough to give up pajama sundays, complete with movies and junk food. Maybe I'll find another Olympic class lounger and I won't have to.