Kermit's back! Cheers!

Well, for now anyway...he is going back and forth with me about canceling our upcoming interview, so I have to work my journalist magic...why? **** if I know, I hate interviewing that green bastard...

"Another meet at the bar, another shot down and two more to go, he is late...which means he will arrive already pissed off. So I'll get a few shots in me, try and get drunk as hell, and hopefully fly through this one like the rest.

He came stumbling in, almost like he knew my plan and beat me to the punch, so I asked him what was wrong..."I had my *** handed to me by Rowlf, the bastard bit me!" I couldn't help but giggle, it isn't everyday that a world famous frog gets his *** kicked by a stuffed dog. "What are you laughing at?! I can have you killed and no one would find your body!" Of course, right on time with threats but late as hell to the interview.

So we get sat down, I order him a rum and coke, and I continue with the three shots of vodka I have sitting in front of me. "So, Kermit, how have you been?" "Been? How the hell do you think I've been? Mister know-it-all?!" Oh for Christ's sake, another shot down...

All in the life, like burning bridges with napalm bombs..."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.

"Well, Kermit is gone again so I'm left interviewing his fellow castmates, again.

'You know, Kermit could have been something, could have made the world his own pond to jump in. He just chose the other route and f***** it all to hell. I guess that was Kermit's MO though, get something so big and end up f****** it all up. Green bastard was worth some money though, that's for damn sure!'"

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uauXHTBZUvU

**Warning, depiction of Muppets engaged in unsavory acts.

"Kermit really was getting pathetic after awhile, Miss Piggy jumped the band-wagon and moved onto bigger and better stars. Always reminded me of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love in a way, tragic but at the same time a trainwreck you just didn't want to look away from.

The only difference is that Miss Piggy hasn't driven Kermit to death yet, but I'm sure she will given enough time. Last I heard she is bugging him about money she loaned him years ago, yep, that's the real Miss Piggy that no one knows about."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oEYMGL0ZtA

NOTE--NO, Courtney, this is not a play on you (since you seem to like threatening people).

"Just look at the characters that Kermit had to work with, I mean, Jesus! Sesame Street was one perverse show to be on at that young of age, and let's face it, Kermit was quite young when he was introduced to the show.

I think that he would have been better off if he had pursued a solo career earlier on...at least then we probably wouldn't have had those awful covers that Kermit is seen performing all over Youtube..."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qBzK9DUtRA&feature=related

Oh the tragedy of the child starlet's rise to fame and inevitable downward spiral. It is criminal.

Well, 12 I guess. Pretty cool, 12.