That was Rowlf the Dog.

I hope he didn't use his teeth. Wait, do frogs have teeth?

Yea...he's the one that traded him smack for oral favors, right?

Apparently "other" things were traded as well...but good luck trying to get anyone to tell you what those "other" things were...lips are sealed on that one...

Kermit didn't...unfortunately...

I thought it was best if you don't use teeth? Oh hell, have I been doing it wrong all these years????

No, it is best to not use teeth...but Kermit was named 'Gummer' ever since...

No teeth...NO TEETH!!!!!

Oh good, I hate to think I've doing it all wrong, that's on my resume, Exceptional Oral Skills, hate to think I'm lying.....

You dirty dirty!!!

Bump for future reference.

"So there I sat, across from one of the most infamous frogs of our time and there he sat, smoking a cigarette. So I asked the question, 'what went through your mind when you read my papers?' And his nonchalant answer, 'nothing, I'm not worried about you, I can find you just as easy as you found me, but I'm slightly more powerful.'

It was at that point that I realized I was staring into the eyes of some kind of sick, depraved, beast of a frog...this green bastard was threatning me, me of all people! I decided the wise thing to do at that time was to conclude the interview and reconvene at another time. He agreed, and we set an appointment for the following week at another bar."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.

"Ya' think ya' wanna' mess with Kermit today? Well, make way...for the AK....... Ya' messin' with my boy from Sesame Street? Here comes the white sheet...."

"Well, he is late...again. I'm not surprised, he was late last time too. Said he had to 'deal' with some stuff prior to our meet, I bet the green bastard was plotting something. Matter of fact, I'm sure he is plotting something just from his threat to me the last time we met.

So I order a 'F*** Me Over Again' because that is about how I'm feeling and figure I might as well have a drink to match the mood...and I wait...and wait...for f*** sake where is this green bastard!

He arrives, two hours late, beating his one hour late the last time by an entire 60 minutes. I order him a 'Rum Runner' and proceed with the interview. 'So, how are you feeling today?' His reply, of course this should surprise you...'I'm rather pissed off, actually!'

...This is going to be a fantastic day."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.

I know things went really south for Kermie. But, it's just not a deterrent for me. I still really want some.

"So I figured I would pop the question, 'what's wrong, green fella?' Apparently I shouldn't call him green fella. 'What do you think is wrong? Huh?! You're the reporter, give me answers!' Lovely, now I'm a psychiatrist and for one fourth the pay...'I don't know, why don't you tell me?'

This went on and on for about another hour, back and forth, which one of us was going to say what was wrong with him...finally I guess he had enough, 'I'm in debt, b****** owe me money, and they ain't payin!' Well, how in the f*** do I have anything to do with this? Funny you should ask, because while he was two hours late to the appointment WE had made, he was trying to get at his debts...and I apparently disrupted the process, because he HAD to come and see me...two hours late...

F*** my life..."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.

Bump, need to think some more, come up with more material, man!

"We met back at the bar again, Kermit seemd to be a little more happy than he was the last time we met. "So, Kermit, do you think your downward spiral started with drinking?" I asked him, "Not really, I mean, you don't understand the immense pressure you are faced with being the most famous frog known to man." Fair enough, I thought to myself, he seems to be calmer, he is probably high.

"So when did drugs become apart of your life?" I figured he would blame it on the dog, "When I met Rowlf outside a live show, he was in the back of the building smoking something and I asked what it was." Figures, I thought, I mean, I started doing drugs because I wanted to and here this frog is telling me he started because of a dog. "What was he smoking?" his reply, "at the time I thought it was a cigarette but it turns out it was a crack pipe, so I tried it, and from that day on I was in love with drugs and alcohol."

This interview is going to be a ton of fun...the kind of fun you have when the girl you slept with the night before turns out to be a man with an army sergeant for a boyfriend..."

--Excerpt, THS: It Ain't Easy Being Green.