Err...no? Not me anyway, I only got back with one ex...I think you are failing to see that there are multiple perspectives of "attraction", and for me...non of them are physical.

Yup...there it is..The sex thing..that is what always makes me say "Why'd you talk to him again"..We'd having a nice little convo and then he'd wanna talk about a dream that he had where I was in it..no guy is dreaming about a girl with her clothes on..lol..Soooooo thats when I gotta bring up that its not just my fault that we aren't together anymore and he has no right to sex talk at me..lol..then he gets mad and we dont speak again for a few days..lol.He wasn't a bad guy..just didn't have his priorities straight so we talk then I'm reminded of why we don't/shouldn't..lol

i wish i could talk to my ex, she was giving me a really strange vibe though, almost like she was scared of me. (No reason to be, but whatever.) i love her still, and i wish i could make things better. I can't even talk to her though. Ah, the pain of unrequited love!

So if that is the magic "answer-all"...how do you explain me?

If you are talking to your ex on a regular basis, then there is no way you are going to get the distance you need to be friends if you want to be. It's not fair for you or him if you keep contacting each other. This is why you can't understand being friends with an ex. One of you is definitely not over the other. You are also letting him bring up sex when you talk to him. You should hang up on him if he starts that. I say go for at least a year without any contact so you can get perspective. You could step up and say don't call me anymore.

I still talk to my ex when we happen to be around each other actually my ex mother in-law is like a mother to me. Thanksgiving I actually spent at her house and my ex and his girlfriend of like 10 years was there. The past is the past no love there but he is the father of both my kids and wish him no harm and have left all the bad feelings where they need to be in the past....

contact with my x's
um nope, and dale who is with his 5th in cali if u r reading this, disappear. u know what i am talking about.

and john, living with ??? up on our property in oregon where u built a lovely house with my money, u can disappear also.

I actually maintain a couple close friendships with Ex's. just because we couldn't make it work doesn't mean that either person is horrible or not worth being great friends wit.

Do I ever want to get back with them no they are EX's for a reason. I have even introduced one EX to the woman he is currently dating now.

I don't believe in keeping the bitternes going.

Well I tried going that route, but I soon found out she had gone so far over to the darkside, that even that was impossible, there are just some people that won't or can't be saved. They are best forgotten and cast out of your memory as though they never existed.

Well, no doubt everyone's experience is going to be different. I respect my ex and she does the same...we were married for 35 years. And, we are both Librans...so we get along. I believe in Karma...so I have learned tolerance...and forgiveness...it frees me to put energy into worthwhile pursuits. I can imagine, however, that in an acrimonious relationship..it would be hell all over again to stay in touch. Whatever works...

I talk to one ex once in a while, she happens to be on here. The others I don't talk to at all.

My ex & I are still friends I feel it's better to part as friends if possible. His new wife is perfect for him and she & I have become best friends. As for going back to an ex? Nope, they are an ex for a good reason.

I don't see the point of it, but I've noticed it happens a lot. Mainly because one person is still holding onto the notion of getting back together and they figure if they remain in the ex's life in some capacity, they have a better chance of it. I had a friend who remained friends with all of her ex's, keeping them on the back burner, so to speak (she banged a few of them when she got the urge) and I had another friend who remained "friends" with her ex hubby, ie. they were friends with benefits. It was a sick, co-dependent relationship; when she dated other men he got jealous and once he threw a brick in her bedroom window, nearly hitting them. Whenever he got a new gf, she did her best to break them up "accidentally." It was beyond retarded. I asked her once why she divorced him in the first place if she still wanted him, she answered "We weren't good married or in the house together, but the sex is amazing." Um, yeah, ew.

A chilling point...

I maintain communication with my ex's, some more than others. But there is one girl in particular I never want to let go of. It couldn't work as a sexual, intimate relationship but she shares my enthusiasm for learning and being vulnerable. I watched her brother grow from 5'5" to 6'5".

So I'll always love her. I just don't want to be with her.

Maybe it's a guy thing?

It wouldn't be so bad if it was a sexless friendship. I can see maintaining pleasant conversation, I get that. If any of my ex's had been capable of pleasant conversation maybe I'd still talk to them, who knows? But holding on to someone who treated you like chit (he was a vile human being by her own admission) just because he gets you off "in a way no one else can" is beyond stupid and desperate.

It's really rather strange, Calleigh. I know she'd take me back but I don't want that. I can get sex from her whenever I want to. I sleep in bed with her but don't touch her... that's not my agenda. She's beautiful. I just respect her to much to use her like that. Maybe that's weird... but whatever.

Interesting. I don't think I could do that. Years ago, I did it, under different circumstances, but now I know I'd jump him the first chance I got!

Hehe.
This girl, my ex, would jump me.
I've made it clear to her that I'm not interested, but I'm interested in her, her life and her learning. She's an amazing intellectual.

Sometimes I feel guilty, though. I feel like I'm inadvertently leading her on.

Well, if you've told her you're not interested in her romantically, you're not leading her on, so you shouldn't feel guilty. It's up to her to remain friends with someone she still has feelings for, if she can't handle it, she needs to move on.

I could never be just friends with a guy I used to sleep with, so I wouldn't even try, but I know my limitations.

My ex and I went through alot in 18 years...and now we are better friends than we were the last 6 of being together. We can get on the phone every now and then, talk about life for a hour or more while staying in our own lives. Being with someone almost a 1/4 of your life people share something. I wouldn't want to get back into a relationship more than that, he has a girlfriend and am happy for him, hope it works out. As people get older...we tend to let go of the little things, realizing whats more important. We had a very torrent relationship...and have realized that perhaps we needed to go through one door to get to another, life is about growth. After 4 years we both would drop what we were doing and be there if needed for the other. It's more like we are family...and good friends than anything else. All is forgiven, and I feel thankul for that...just because we saw life differently...doesn't mean we can't still be a part of each others' life.