hahahahahahahahahah
now how would u know that?

I am reminded everytime I am in the shower.

okay so u do your best work in the shower?

i don't think john holmes spent much time in there. he was more of a bed dude...

I was gonna ask how you are such a Holmes historian but, we gotta don't ask don't tell policy around here. hehehehehehe

I wasn't actually referring to his work. I was referring to that poor guy having to lug around a friggen firehose.

For years,I didn't even speak to him and If he was going to be at one of our son's home,I wouldn't go. I though that I wanted him back and then that time came.I didn't want him.I did get alot of stuff off my chest.So now we are on speaking terms. He is worked on his 7th wife.

So, not someone to ask marital advice from... check.

when I went through my first divorce,,the kids,,,was the reasoning to be humble and nice,,,,and stay friends,,
My second divorce,,,our kids we raised together,,so same but young adults then,,and gradurations, events,,we carried a respect for each other,,even though,,mine for her was very deeply lost,,a long ago.. But hey,,,,YOU get out,,,and when you look back,,,its hard to hate them,,,forever,,as my hate doesn't carry,,,,for life..wink
would I or could I go back with either one,,,NEVER,,not even a small thought..
I am one of those guys who,,once it was done,,,and then,,,you parted,,,well,,,there IS nothing to ever go back for,,,,?
i never JUMPED prematurely into a marriage,,,or the divorces....
they,,,were self thought out,,,fully....

But if kids our involved,,,,,,KIDS NEED TO BE THOUGHT ABOUT,,,a LOT!

ITS their world and LIVES to.....

well my comment for what it is worth...
u r absolutely right....your kid's life, for what it is worth.

when i made my post about my x husband, i did not hit this fact very hard. for all the years of drama, i stayed true to that fact, that it was my daughter's relationship that was important with her father.

to this day, i think that i made the sacrifice, and for that i will never regret, but the rest of it is a wash now, and you do go on hoping not to make the same mistake.

then, there are those out there in mingleland that choose not to get married, and have kids. maybe you are right on. it is an individual thing and decision.

i agree that something about my ex obviously appealed to me or i wouldnt have tried making a go of it with them ;-) unfortunetly a relationship just wasnt ment to be but im happy to be friends, and we probably get on a lot better tha way ;-) x

hey i got an idea...

let us all do a survey and call up r x's, and ask them if they would like to come back for a night, day or weekend and c what they say about us?....
i don't think i want to hear it...

I'd rather be drawn, quartered, covered in hot butter and fed to fire ants.

Like I said in the other post it's generally ify and can always be looked at in different levels of contemplation. How much is too much with an ex? Okay an ex is a friend like I said in another post, and you are in a relationship with another person, you want to go away to a cabin for a "friends" camp out with your ex and a few other friends, do you think this is okay, if your significant other doesn't like the idea are they controlling you. This question or debate of ex's really falls into a philosophical point of debate if children are not involved.

okay okay okay...
i give so be friends with ur x, kids or no kids, and c how u feel in 40 years.....

My ex husband and I are closer now than when we were married. He is a good, close friend. We were extremely unhappy in our marriage and now, those problems that we were trying to deal with, are gone. He has moved on and that is fine with me. He deserves a loving person with the same interests that he has..

hmmph !

*touchy subject matter*

Oh gosh...
X's are and should be just that, OVER WITH.
Being cordial is best!
I'm not one for "calling on an X" other people feel different and "never burn any bridges."
When its over is ever really over?
WE all know that usually theres one that still cares.
Yes, As adults we "get along' for reasons...kids usually or our pride. But then ... "Love has no pride" *** "Love Hurts"
Relationships are hard work and to keep a relationship lasting is something special.

listen can u beat this?

about 3 days ago i looked out over the wild blue yonder...the oakytit bar parking lot, and there i thought i saw my x. he looked right at me....for a few minutes...

however, i could not be sure but i almost fainted with fright.

i looked and looked but at my age with eyesite failing all i could recognize was his body. long skinny legs...where there used to be muscular runner's legs as he was a baseball player. the head, well it was had on a hit with silvery gray hair....same beak however.....

could this be true? what should i do? mqybe it was an aparition since i have been giving all this advice about x husbands....and he suddenly appearred....

now my spelling has gone to hell...

the head, i meant to say had a hat on it with slivery gray hair but i recognized the beak...

and maybe was mqybe...and this was no aparition after thinking about it...cause he would have gone up in smoke....

I think, if you really loved someone and they you, that love just doesn't go away. The love changes, your thoughts change but love is love. When the ones who can't stand to be or hear from their exes, I wonder is it one or two things-
-Did they ever really 'love' each other? or
-if since it was so horrific- they never really did. Real love grows with the passing of time. My ex was nothing to look at, wouldn't turn any ones head, but when we met I admired his personality and intelligence, and then his looks.
Yes, when we divorced...We were both hurt, angry and it lasted until we talked like adults and time apart give us objectivity. Now, he is still very good looking to me and I still admire him and as Linny stated: "He deserves a loving person with the same interests that he has.." Just because it isn't me doesn't mean he's a rotten person. There are 'parts' of him I still don't like as before but the same holds, I'm in no doubt, that he feels for me. Thats why we divorced.
Love fine tunes itself and not everyone gets a chance at real love. You will know it at some point if you are.
Am not trying to contradict anyone or tell them that their thoughts are wrong, these are just my thoughts and feelings about it.

2 shasta l....

lovely post....a true romantic u are...and that is a compliment..

Thank you Duffy! I suppose some people wouldn't like to be described as such, but I do! That was really nice of you to say.