If its important to you,,just leave out the line 'what god has joined together' so as not to be a hypocrite. I think there are a few different vows which can be taken and people can even write their own.

Well marriage without God is not marriage really. You can be married by the Justice of The Peace if you only seek the legal rights of a married couple. But religon is a personal choice and a private matter. But marriage means different things to people today... For me it has everything to do with God!

Yes, I think that is why some see it as merely a contract, or a legal agreement. Without God, that is pretty much what it would be.

People can do what they want it's their freedom of choice but i am at loss about your statement of what God has joined together. I don't know what you mean?

When we were married, the pastor said the line 'What God has joined together let no man put asunder". I was stating that for someone not believing in God, that sentence would not be appropriate.

I see... I think wedding vows have completely lost their conviction!

Well, it also says "til death do us part" yet people get divorced, so yeah, I guess they have lost their conviction.

So if a woman that does this is called a gold digger what is the guy called.

Today marriage means just as much or as little as either or both assign to it. The people who really abdicate their rights when couples marry are the parents.

For all the rights, responsibilities, and priveleges that society assigns marriage it doesn't mean a lot if either decide to ignore it.

Marriage tends to protect society. It makes two people responsible for children, bills, taxes, property, and each other. It is smart that people be aware of the spouses behavior good or noteably bad. It establishes a responsible party for an adult besides a parent or sibling if the other is incapacitated. Like it or not it establishes and extensive partnership that is clearly defined and generally speaking protects the rights of the homemaker as an equal to the breadwinner. It doesn't say who or that constantly either assume the roles jointly or seperately so have a clear idea what your getting yourself into is a pretty good idea.

Kind of knocks me out to hear that the courts always give the women half of "his" stuff when in fact he gets half of hers and the parents are going to be bumping her to pay for the wedding they went into hock for. And usually today that means he keeps the electronics and she keeps the kitchen gear and the kids furniture which may or may not be hand me down to start with.

Because most guys don't assume enough of the parenting to be able to truely share custody if they even want to and can if the child was born during the marriage can't get off work if they are lucky enough to be mature enough to have a real job. With some marriages barely lasting long enough for the ink to dry on the marriage license the real rub is one or both are going to become homeless.

I agree...wedding vows have lost their conviction. People these days don't take those vows seriously enough...I didn't when I said them many years ago but the next time around things are going to be different.

Reasons to get married. Because you can't live apart from that person. When you guys are apart a piece of you is missing.

I agree with everthing you wrote above but most people continue to seek another marriage and sometimes a third or fourth one. Just a comment.

I agree legal and religious, are the only reasons to get married.

And although some people may lose thier conviction doesn't take away from the meaning of those vows, and those who keep them.

agree totally..

I like your honesty, I too have been in relationships I knew better than to be, but hey the sex was great! ha! I'm 30 now and have smartened up. The power of the vows only have meaning if you give those words meaning, and it takes two people to do that. This generation, this state of California, everything is a joke. If I find the right person we can be happily together, no marriage, no paperwork, and no contracts need to be involved!

it takes both people with the same belief that a marriage is a lifetime commitment that takes compromise,communication and the ability to fall in love over and over with the person you married

Great answer, that is a wonderful endorsement of marriage.

yes I'm a believer