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It is interesting how the use of manners spreads. Kind of like paying it
back.

well i realy dislike the term old fashoined --- i think manners are
manners --- but there have been times where i have opened a door for a
lady -- and been admonished by being told she didnt have a broken arm
and could open the door herself --- and as for old fashioned --- here we
on date sites trying to find a mate -- through the clouds of
mis-communication and what and who we truly are --- now we look at
pictures wondering if they are recent --- or can just be dismissed -- it
was time when we got to know one another for who we are -- <tips his
wings>

Angel, I love the wings. Very cool and original costume. :)

Humm I know some call them old fashion and some call them just plan
manners either way it shows respect. It is the small things that matter
most to people either by opening a door now days can be done by both
sexes and not meant as rude if a woman does it. Or just holding hands
and as crash said bringing flowers for no reason and they don't have to
be no dozen roses my goodness your local food store has floweres under
$8.00 and pretty ones too. Be it by a touch a look something sweet that
is said. It all adds up. Showing respest for the other person goes a
long ways these days. Treat others the way you would want to be
treated. Show respect and you shall get respect.

always open doors...never walk in ahead of my lady...
it's the small things...

I love them, had to get used to some of the little things my fella does,
like opening the car door for me. And he was the first man ever to give
me roses, that didn't take any getting used to!

Courtesy and respect should go both ways. I hold the door for other
people, there's nothing worse than having a swinging door in your face.
I don't think there's anything old fashioned about good manners.

lol i find men slam the door in my face these days and i hold the door
open for everyone lol

i think whoever reaches the door first should open it, unless their
hands are full. my hands aren't broke, and i'll think it's pretty silly
if you refuse to go through a door i've opened for you just because i'm
female.

i ask out whomever i please. i proposed to my husband. i pay when i do
the asking...

it is NOT my job to wash your clothing...if i do so, it's just being
nice. of course, it's not YOUR job to wash MY clothes, either.

i'm not big on flowers, or candy...i don't like "romantic gestures" as
they make me feel beholden.

i prefer an equal-footed relationship.

awwwwwww Crash you are awesome

I'm so old fashion I think I was born in the wrong era. Love the
gentlemen bows and taking off their hats, giving a lady his seat, a
helping hand ( or in somecases just an excuse to touch his lady
) sigh

yes cash i do ,a real gentle man is hard to find

I'm a little old fashioned. I enjoy doors being held for me and stuff
like that, but it's not mandatory. I also won't call a guy until we've
actually gone out a few times. I think it's mainly the man's job to
pursue the woman.

I relish in the fact that I truly believe in chivalry... Call it old
fashion? I think that is the way it should be, but I also do believe in
modern thinking... I'll make the first move, but I don't chase... There
are way too many fish out in the sea to put your self out to be
manipulated... Geez you would have to be desperate or something... I
will have to say I love making friends more than making lovers... Is
that old fashion too...?

Yesterday heading into McDonalds a man saw me coming and held the door
open for me. I remembered this thread and laughed to myself as I
thanked him. Then it hit me and I suddenly felt so dis-empowered, just
kidding.

I find your joke funny, and at the same time, a little tongue in cheek,
which, I think was the idea... imkeys.

So do you understand what I meant, by disempowered?

Perhaps you did, perhaps you didn't.

When a person, and historically this is so, is 'labelled' and
conditioned, through fairytales, stories, and Hollywood movies....
They become that, or can assimilate that role.

Really think about it, from a young age men are taught, women are the
fairer sex, the gentler sex, the fragile sex, and you are obligated to
certain behaviours around women...

And then there are ways you can behave around men...it is ok to punch
someone in the schoolyard, it is ok, to knock the schoolyard bully's
teeth out...we were programmed through so many chilfhood programmes,
twenty, thirty years ago.

When women are conditioned to believe, through many forms of
conditioning, that they are weaker than men, are not as capable as
men...they can become that.

That is disempowering.

WHen men are conditioned to believe women are not as strong, women are
not as capable, their behaviours towards women, become that also.


ALL I have stated over and over, is that gender doesn't come into it,
and when you separate gender into roles, and sets of expected
behaviours, you disempower one of those genders.

It may be too much to grasp for some, to step outside their
conditioning.

By all means open that door, by all means assist that person, be
courteous and polite, and respectful, for thier humanity, NOT their
gender.

Stop separating, from everything, stop holding everything as separate
compartments, and you wont feel so alone.

Ok, Jess,
I'll go you one deeper. I get your point. I disagree, but I have been
saying for years that the world is engineered for men. It might tick
you off for me to say this but why do women come to men to open jars?
Because men designed the jars. Not saying all women aren't as strong or
tall but my mother who is 5'3" tall spent her life in a world designed
for a 5'10" or taller man. Why does she have to get a step stool to put
things in her cabinets? Because a man designed the cabinets. Why
don't all large companies have day care on the premises? Because men
set up the corporate world.

I don't totally buy into the conditioning thing. I've heard people say
that kids aren't prejudiced or hateful, that they have to learn that
behavior. That's nonsense. If you've ever watched over a group of
three year olds they are selfish, mean, and belittling to anyone who
doesn't conform to their idea of the world. You have to teach manners
and sharing, it doesn't come naturally. I think gender conditioning is
just a simple label being applied to something that is much harder to
explain. Some people fit the historical model, some don't, respect them
either way.