I spent a week with this chick I was in rehab with and she told me she loved me before I left, and I'm not sure how to play my next move. She's really cool but I don't feel any strong animal urges towards her. But we do get along great, and she is moving to Cali. which is cool. I just don't know which fork in the road to take.

animal urges...hummmm not sure that is what you are suppose to feel with someone that loves you...there is a difference between love and lust...

Two x users never works---trust me!

Hit it and quit it. Jk If you met her in a rehab, then you best take this super slowly. You both have uncontrolable habits. Maybe go on dates to AA meetings or something like that for awhile.

If you don't have the same feelings for her, you just have to be very truthful with her and not lead her on. Just explain to her that you think she is a very nice woman and you just want to be friends.

Don't they tell you to avoid romantic relationships for a year when you get out of rehab? There is a good reason for it! You need to figure out life on your own before you figure out life with another person.

Take care of you!

I wouldn’t recommend getting involved with anyone in rehab. There are a myriad of reasons but shouldn’t the ringing bell be the fact that both of you are dealing with addictions?

Is the sponsoring facility supportive of members dating one another?

She might be very needy and using transference to deal with her addictions issues. She might be substituting love for whatever it is that she is addicted to.

I would avoid this situation.

Good luck!

If she has feelings and you don't then it would be best to leave it as a friendship and move on.... Why start something when you don't have any feelings for them? Then later have to break it off it is best that you don't start something that should not be....

She's movin from Texas to California and we've moved past that dating phase. She lives about 90 miles from me for about 16 more hours, so we tried living together as a fun expieriment for about a week. Honestly I think she's a lot more into me than I am into her. When she told me that she loved me I told her I was worried she was on the rebound, and that once she got to California there would be all kinds of men to meet and that she would forget all about me.

Oh, well I still think you should let this one go. Wish her well and keep in touch. Maybe she'll come back one day a much stronger person.

I know I shouldn't date junkies, but what I'm looking for is a way to save her emotions over the phone

Then be honest, and respectful.

i second that..

With all due respect, what are you thinking?

Do you see the train barreling down the track towards you? Get out of the way!

You asked for advice -- and got wonderful common sense replies -- but you are making excuses and trying to justify your situation.

Why not take some of this advice? Stop being a doormat! You seem to be a glutton for punishment. You are the oldest EMO kid I’ve ever seen!

Melody......how many people do you know that will settle for the most horrendous disaster, simply because it is presented to them, when they are in a very vulnerable place?




Snuffs.... you are raw.... vulnerable.... and this woman has shown you attention.... very seducing...yeah?

Very noice feeling, yeah?

Feel valuable? yeah?

Mate..... the high you get from this woman's attention.... is no different to the high you used to chase.

Learn you.... empower you.... say not yet.... say do the work on you.... speak with your sponsor.... get support...

develop strength.

Please do not refer to me as an EMO. My ex-mistress was an emo and I thought the music,and fashion, as well as the very idea is gay as hell. I just want to be able to maintain the whole "cool being friends" since we are great as friends and try not break her heart. Her Husband died less than a year ago and I really don't want to drive her into a deeper state of depression

EMO is a modern term for "whiner". I can't put it any nicer.

If you want to change the way people perceive you, take charge of your life.

I meant not disrespect, I was only trying to be playful -- seriously though. You are not making smart choices.

You cannot save her and don't bring yourself down trying.

intelligent woman

Lee, I really don't understand the magnitude of not being in charge of one's life. I have no empathy, sympathy or association to this in any way. I’ve always shut the door on dependent people.

All I can do is try tough love and wish him well but I am not one to sooth, coddle and say “it’s OK” when it’s not Ok.

Snuff -- good luck

Hahahaha ...and I am?

LMAO!

I am tough love in motion....

however.... I can empathise.... I can feel the vulnerability... I work with people in Snuff's place he finds himself in...

he is asking for guidance, possibly a little strength, when he is aware of how vulnerable he is....

it is so easy to collapse back into dependency, to conning yourself, lying to yourself....


Snuffs has put himself out there to be admonished.... by posting this thread.... it takes a while to get your equilibrium, when you are first clean...

it's a new and raw skin you have to learn to fit.