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| Topic: Dating separated people...Why not??? | |
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I think as soon as a man decides he wants to be single and takes that step of legally separating from his wife, he is just as fair bait as the other single men. You will think that until you are the one who finds themself being divorced and trying to get stuff worked out with some other person breathing down your neck to take what you thought was yours. Not all divorces are wanted, fair, or mutual regardless of what some seperated person trys to tell you. |
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Dahhh your wife is intitled to half if not more of yoru pention and all else you own
your not avaialbe In a s/o realtionship you are a zero 0 Oh and the best YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. 
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Dahhh your wife is intitled to half if not more of yoru pention and all else you own your not avaialbe In a s/o realtionship you are a zero 0 Oh and the best YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. I think this is only in community property states. If the wife has all the money than she has to pay the man. |
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Dahhh your wife is intitled to half if not more of yoru pention and all else you own your not avaialbe In a s/o realtionship you are a zero 0 Oh and the best YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. I think this is only in community property states. If the wife has all the money than she has to pay the man. Then he is still off limits casue he is a kept man. I keep no one. |
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The best reason given so far is the example it sets. Seperated is still married. However, Details matter. I was separated from my husband for nearly 8 years. Once I moved out though and was responsible for my self and my child with no obligations on his part,,I considered myself available. It is a gamble for the other person to know if a seperated person will mend things or not. I am in a similar fix, so I feel your pain.
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Dahhh your wife is intitled to half if not more of yoru pention and all else you own your not avaialbe In a s/o realtionship you are a zero 0 Oh and the best YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. I think this is only in community property states. If the wife has all the money than she has to pay the man. Then he is still off limits casue he is a kept man. I keep no one. I only talking about if there is a divorce. If the woman is the one with the money she has to pay him a settlement. He would not be a kept man. He would be a divorced man that received money in a divorce settlement. |
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he is not divorced he is married.............. why debate with me look at the op......
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Thank you all for your thoughts. The separation provided us time to make the difficult decision to get the divorce. We will not be getting back together and the process of dividing up everything has began. I understand the points made by all, and appreciate your comments. I am not married, and not divorced...in between what was and what is, and it is lonely as some of you have found. Again thanks to all. slingwing69 According to the laws we have in place you are still married. The law is the law there is no in between. You may find a small number of women that would want to enter into a relationship with you at this time. When I was divorced it took 90 days, what are you waiting for???????????????????????????????????? |
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[My question to all is this: Why do people see separated men and women as people who they would not talk with or date, and never try to build a relationship with? Separation is the time to make sure that divorce is the right thing to do, but it means not having someone to talk too or share your life with, and nobody likes that.
probably because some separated people aren't as separated as others. i didn't think of my separation as trial, but rather the bickering part over who gets what and who pays for what, the step before divorce. if you think separation is a time to make sure divorce is right for you, then maybe THAT is why woman won't date you; they are thinking you're still wondering. i dated while i was separated; i was honest about my situation and i was lucky enough to date guys who believed me. i'd also be willing to date a guy who was separated providing that: we had some dates at his house, i met friends/family, and various other things to ensure that he really was living alone. i don't ever want to be 'the other woman'. |
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Interesting comments to be sure. The man asked a legitimate question. It boils down to your perspective.
1) Yes he is technically still married....He's not a Leper! 2) Probably a lot of drama yet to come. Life is full of obstacles. Maybe a little lattitude is in order? 3) It didn't sound to me that he was trying to jump in any one's pants right away, but sounded more like companionship is what he was looking for. You have to start somewhere! I guess my suggestion is maybe to find someone to fill that recent void who has walked in those shoes. I'm sure there are many! Maybe ones who aren't bitter and have preconceived notions of your personal situation. Good Luck! |
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I have been separated and living totally apart from my wife of 19 years for 6 months now, and we have began the divorce process....I know that in some cases separated people do get back together...but in my case there is no doubt about a divorce happening, and I do not hide that fact when I talk with people. My question to all is this: Why do people see separated men and women as people who they would not talk with or date, and never try to build a relationship with? Separation is the time to make sure that divorce is the right thing to do, but it means not having someone to talk too or share your life with, and nobody likes that. I understand that people have different ideas on relationships, and I respect the differences, but to say that I am not enbtitled to meet someone, build a relationship, and have happiness is wrong to me, how about you? Please feel free to say what you feel about this, I welcome your opinion. Because I don't want to date anyone who hasn't made up their mind yet if they are single or married. |
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Until you get the divorce decree...
you technically are not free... it's pretty simple actually... |
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There is always the chance of you going back and it is also a rebound issue. Nobody wants to be the "rebound" girl. JMO i agree separated is still married |
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the point is to stay together for financial reasons is prostitution. How much money is or integrity worth????? I BEG YOUR PARDON! Just because we didn't rush to file the paperwork does not mean I prostituted myself! There are some times when we need the financial help. Oh, and BTW, I didn't ask him for a dime of support or anything else. It must be a nice position you're sitting in to not know what that feels like and to accuse some of us of "prostitution". And the OP said he already HAS filed the paperwork!   i love it when people blindly judge others Amen to that!  There seems to be quite a lot of that going on in this thread!
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there are people who say they are single yet have one or more significant other(s) who may or may not view themselves as single. there are divorced people who are so intertwined that they are still emotionally married and unable to honestly date others. so yeah,
it is complicated. but not so complicated that people shouldn't interact or can't safely interact. each situation is different. there are reasons why some people may treat separated people as unavailable without any further information...it is simpler that way. |
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I have no problem dating seperated women. By the same token,I have no problem dating married women.
 be seeing you
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Edited by
Monier
on
Sat 09/19/09 01:18 PM
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I have been separated and living totally apart from my wife of 19 years for 6 months now, and we have began the divorce process....I know that in some cases separated people do get back together...but in my case there is no doubt about a divorce happening, and I do not hide that fact when I talk with people. My question to all is this: Why do people see separated men and women as people who they would not talk with or date, and never try to build a relationship with? Separation is the time to make sure that divorce is the right thing to do, but it means not having someone to talk too or share your life with, and nobody likes that. I understand that people have different ideas on relationships, and I respect the differences, but to say that I am not enbtitled to meet someone, build a relationship, and have happiness is wrong to me, how about you? Please feel free to say what you feel about this, I welcome your opinion. Because if they care about you and themselves, they will want you to take care of the process and baggage (separated but dating is the biggest baggage one can have). I would'nt date my old high school sweetheart while she was seperated years later, even though I was crazy about her. I thought to wait until the ink dried on her divorced papers and give her some time to adjust to what happened. I never got that chance. She just jumped from man to man when I would'nt get together with her. I would have been one of those guys she went though. Go seek love sure, but don't expect good women to not shy away from the biggest red flag ever, Separation. P.S. Without being officially divorced meaning actually done with the process, mainly only naive people will believe it because there are alot of liars out there. |
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Interesting comments to be sure. The man asked a legitimate question. It boils down to your perspective. 1) Yes he is technically still married....He's not a Leper! 2) Probably a lot of drama yet to come. Life is full of obstacles. Maybe a little lattitude is in order? 3) It didn't sound to me that he was trying to jump in any one's pants right away, but sounded more like companionship is what he was looking for. You have to start somewhere! I guess my suggestion is maybe to find someone to fill that recent void who has walked in those shoes. I'm sure there are many! Maybe ones who aren't bitter and have preconceived notions of your personal situation. Good Luck! Ummmm, his profile states he's looking for an intimate encounter. That doesn't leave much up for preconceived notions. Declining to date a "separated" man has nothing to do with bitterness, IMO. It's a personal choice. He asked for opinions. He got them. |
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Theres always "ex sex".
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interesting posts.
I am not interested in dating someone who is still married even if it IS for business, insurance or medical insurance reason. Seems that's not actually as separate as some might think. |
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