I have been separated and living totally apart from my wife of 19 years for 6 months now, and we have began the divorce process....I know that in some cases separated people do get back together...but in my case there is no doubt about a divorce happening, and I do not hide that fact when I talk with people.

My question to all is this: Why do people see separated men and women as people who they would not talk with or date, and never try to build a relationship with? Separation is the time to make sure that divorce is the right thing to do, but it means not having someone to talk too or share your life with, and nobody likes that.

I understand that people have different ideas on relationships, and I respect the differences, but to say that I am not enbtitled to meet someone, build a relationship, and have happiness is wrong to me, how about you?

Please feel free to say what you feel about this, I welcome your opinion.

Put your seat belt on

There is always the chance of you going back and it is also a rebound issue. Nobody wants to be the "rebound" girl. JMO

Because they're still married and even worse have emotional and legal attachments to their (possible) future ex.

Separated people need to deal with the fact that most single men and women are going to be turned off by their status.

No input or debate here is going to change that. Good luck though!

Personally I have dated men claimed to be separated and really weren't. Also I recently had a guy try to date me who did end up getting back together with his wife. I'm sure others have similar stories so it boils down to having to believe with out a doubt that the person IS getting a divorce. While you may be able to see it this way someone who has just met you and may have been thru what I have been though would probably not be so quick to believe it.

That too!

rebound never works. You are not looking for someone to have a relationship at this time in your life, even though you think you are. Why would a woman invest her time into a no-win situation?
The only exception would be if you declared you just wanted sex, because that is all you really are offering at this point in your life.

good luck

I don't want to go through his divorce with him... not my deal.

Get a hooker. She will not care.

You were married for 19 years and have only been seperated 6 months? In my opinion you should not even be thinking of any type of relationship besides friendship. You need some time to get yourself together........

yeah..what he said.

I've been seperated 10yrs

Just legal crap

Biz stuff. Retirement crap. Pension crap

It's nice how it is

No chance of getting back together. EVA
We know that

My new man knows that too!! Don't bother him

He knows there is no marriage again for me! EVA

I personally would never date anyone that is not completely, legally divorced. There is too much transition, baggage, and ties to the spouse. This is another reason I don’t date men with kids (but that is off topic and not all marriages produce kids).

I have a zero drama tolerance and I can't image that "his" divorce issues wouldn't leach into our relationship.

I wish you well. There are a ton of people that blur lines all the time though, and I'm sure you will find someone that is more relaxed in terms of your evolution.

You asked if you are entitled to have someone in your life. Yes, you deserve someone in your life, but at what expense? You might find someone that is a rebound for you but you end up hurting them because they have deeper feelings. You don't need a romantic partner now but a friend. There is a big difference.

You asked for .02 cents and I gave you .03!

Good luck!

EGGZACTLY!

Eating people never fails me...

I dont date ANYONE whose "separated!!!!!!!!!!

TECHNICALLY.........they're STILL MARRIED!!!!!!!!! NO THANKS!

umm well in the eyes of the law they are still married and they could always patch things up just because you dont see it happening at this point in time doesn't mean something down the road might happen thats unforeseen.

Slingwing,

From someone who was recently "there". Seperation even with iminent divorce is a time when someone is looking for the quick fix. The band aid of sorts. The time is better spent healing, reflecting, finding your way, making new friends.

There are those who will date seperated people and no doubt you will find those but you don't want to get into a relationship just to not feel lonely. You will unintentionally hurt the other person.

Take this time to find yourself and make new friends. Your no longer a unit adventure is just beginning. Go slow and have fun.

There are some relationships that work well that originate during a divorce but they are few and far between.

The chances of someone getting hurt during a divorce is high.

You need the time anyway to re stabilize and focus. You cannot give someone a fair shake if you are emotionally drained and not many divorces are "fun".

The amount of dating time you lose is small in the overall length of your life. Use it to better advantage than running the risk of hurting someone else.

I agree...