Yes, you are on my friends list so i must have read your profile before. I cant believe I did not notice this about you. I am very proud of you and I think you are very cool. I have 20/20 vision and yet I was blind for not realizing I am glad you are on Mingle

LOOKS

Well, there's a big difference between (I'll use an argument someone tossed at me the other day) the "Why can't you remember to put the cap back on the toothpaste tube?" scenario and the "I want you to change your entire value system" one.

Let's face it, relationships require a certain degree of compromise and flexibility.

Wanting someone to b**** less is certainly a reasonable request, in my opinion.

Wanting someone to become the polar opposite of the person they are is another thing entirely.

I have a theory that the vast majority of women on dating sites (the ones I've tried, anyway) are already predisposed to the domestication agenda by virtue of the fact that they've already had one or more failed relationships and already have kids. They're simply past the point in their lives where they're capable of conceiving of anything BUT that life.

this is true, about the personality.

that is BS! Read profiles and you will see that is not he case at all. It really burns me when someone throws everyone into the same basket, like an entire gender is exactly the same!

Looks not important to me, what's inside is, personality, how they treat their sisters and mother..tells me a lot..I know some handsome guys that are real jerks! LOL

1.) Reading profiles isn't much help, since most of them are either empty or might as well be. "I don't know what to write here" is not exactly an astounding personal revelation. Most of the profiles that actually have any content are merely strings of hackneyed cliches that can be found in the next 50 profiles you read.

2.) Having dabbled with dating sites on and off for about 10 years now, I can safely say that the majority of women on any standard, mainstream site either have kids or want kids, and this is a priority for them. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's not what I'm looking for.

3.) If I'm generalizing here, it's based solely on my own observations and experiences over the years. Hey, I wish this WASN'T the case -- but it is; at least, I've never seen anything to contradict it.

And it may not hold up on some of the smaller, more specialized sites. The evidence is inconclusive, up to this point.

Yes. When it comes down to it though, I don't want to be with someone unless I can accept them unconditionally. Even the little things. I used to try to change those little things in men (like the b****ing) instead of just asking myself, "is this a flaw I can really live with or is it a deal breaker." If it's a deal breaker, I've gotten better about just walking away than trying to change it. But like I've said, you seem to find women at different stages of life. It's not so much that they are not capable of anything but finding a domesticated man, but that it's what they need and prefer in their life. I don't think failed relationships is what makes women want to "domesticate", but it makes sense to me that a woman who has kids would want a man who is into family. Perhaps it is best to avoid them if that's not what you want. But don't be hard on them for looking out for their kids. I know a lot of women who have been married and divorced, whose kids are grown, and who are now just looking for company... but not interested in remarrying. You'll find one too, just keep looking and try not to become bitter about the others in the process.

Well, that's the key. I always had 3 deal-breakers, and only 3 -- no drugs, no alcohol, no kids. But that pretty much excludes everyone on every dating site I've ever tried.



Oh, I do. I've made that VERY clear, from day one -- I never wanted to mislead anybody on this.



I would expect them to look out for their kids -- if they didn't, that would be a red flag. But I don't think I'm "hard" on them, it's just that I have no interest in that lifestyle.



I know some women like that, too. Some of my friends on the site fall into that category. We get along fine. It's just not a dating scenario.



I used to think that, too, but I just don't think there's anyone on dating sites who doesn't drink and doesn't have kids. That combination doesn't seem to exist on line.

I think being open enough to want something different is half the battle. If you truly want just companionship, sex, or anything else, you need to look at what you have attracted in the past and why. Then you are able to see why you choose the same type of person over and over. Then stop and choose differently.

I never bought into the whole marriage and family thing. It was something that I never wanted and I made my choices accordingly. This came at a very young age for me. I knew what I wanted.
I have a truly happy life, with companionship & sex, when I want it. Close family and friends.
I prefer my freedom above most things, yet I have strong passion and
desire.
I know that at various stages in ones life, your desires may change. I have been blessed with an open mind, and knowledge enough to know that if I felt differently tomorrow about my choices, I would choose a different path. I just have to remain open to that, and anything is possible.
I will never close a door unless I know that I need to open another.

oh and btw, I don't have kids nor want them, nor do I drink, do drugs, or smoke.

And you would date this young man? Ladies and gentlemen... we may have a match!

lol I'm making a point that he is incorrect in his assumptions lol

Granted, there may be an exception here or there.

I still say the rule holds up pretty well after years and years of scrutiny....

The point isn't that there are no exceptions -- the point is that the exceptions are so rare (and incorporate various other limiting factors, such as distance, etc.) as to be virtually negligible.

Looks never really have done it for me. Maybe because I learned early that pretty is is not always as pretty does. Or that money can only polish a rotten apple so much.

What I find attracting my attention, for me, is a person's "tempo" and their "voice".

That is why I am having such a difficult time to be attracted to the men in my area. The speech patterns here are much faster and it seems like a lower voice is very rare. It must be a competative location because the men either seem frantic to meet or have totally given up.

I am surprised more people aren't useing the voice recognition software. It is awesome. As much as I post I would have carpal tunnel for sure. lol

Both looks and personality are important.

yep yep

yep, agreed. What looks good to me may not look good to some one else..
again... preference.

see, that's what i tell people, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.