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| Topic: I think I've just had an Epiphany. | |
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I call these threads......baiting threads!!  Would that make him a Master Baiter? 
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Are you aware that this particular group is not as welcoming towards you, as you walk up to them?
Is this something you are already aware of? Are you less relaxed when greeting this group? Having to be MORE polite than you would be with a different group? That creates all sorts of energies...the dynamics are strained, and even if most are unaware of it on a conscious level...it just kind of feels wrong. You already sense this 'wrongness'...in how the women respond to you. For me...? I wouldn't give them more than a passing wave, enmasse... The reson being is that, I am not going to bother with those that are nor equally receptive. I don't feel it is an insecurity...I feel it is just simply your vibe doesn't match their vibe....Their vibe matches each others, it's why they hang together. |
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I approach everyone the same way. Men, women or children. I say hello and pay them some kind of complement. To a man this may be "wow, that's a very cool tie." To a woman it might be "you are so cute." Then I shake hands, tell them my name and ask for theirs.
This is all within about 30 seconds. They don't have enough time to really form any opinion of me. I have no opinion of them. I'm just saying hi. Here's my thinking. If someone says "Hey, nice shirt." A person with low self esteem might ask "what's wrong with it?" He has turned to complement into an insult by assuming it was given sarcasticly. On the other hand, someone might say "that is one f***ed up shirt." A person with high self esteem would smile and say "yeah, it's so cool. I love it!" This turns the insult into a joke. As far as those who think there is something wrong with me. I think this is unliklely. I get along great with about 90% of the people I meet. I'm just a happy, social guy that most people seem to enjoy talking with. I assume they enjoy it because they buy me drinks, laugh at my jokes and hug me when I show up. All except this one group of women. |
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TS, you've lost me a little...do you mean one type of woman, or a particular group?
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Humm guess you have me lost here as well to me it seems your saying that a particular type of person when you approach them seem to either back away from you or ignore you.
Guess I'm not catching what you are trying to get across here.  So please explain in more detail....
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I've been trying to understand why a certain group of women (don't want to point any fingers) appears to dislike me. I speak to this group the exact same way I speak to any woman. I say hello, give them some kind of complement and shake hands. But, this one group seems to view me with suspicion. Anyway, I think I've found my answer. It's that this group of women have low self esteem. So, when I tell them they are pretty, they assume I am not being truthful and I have some other motive than just being a friendly, social fella. Any thoughts? Yep thought does it. Telling them is but a part. You have to believe it with your heart. Cause they can see that too. |
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Edited by
daytime
on
Tue 08/11/09 08:34 PM
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I would not worry too much about it, some people will like you and others will not, it is part of life. Focus on the people you care about.
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From what I read I take it that he's saying that there is a group of women that don't take to his compliments.. Therefore, they have low self-esteem b/c they can't take a compliment...
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I don't know about that problem, but great photos and bio!
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From what I read I take it that he's saying that there is a group of women that don't take to his compliments.. Therefore, they have low self-esteem b/c they can't take a compliment... of course...  
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I don't know about that problem, but great photos and bio! (((D))) miss you darlin' 
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From what I read I take it that he's saying that there is a group of women that don't take to his compliments.. Therefore, they have low self-esteem b/c they can't take a compliment... Hummm maybe they just wonder what he is up to and why does one need to butter up to others. Don't a simple hi normally work? Does not mean they have low self esteem just that they don't thrive off of compliments.... 
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I don't know about that problem, but great photos and bio! (((D))) miss you darlin' You, too, gorgeous! |
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My personal opinion is that they may not take it as a compliment b/c they may see him as a player... Some women are funny that way, they won't give a man the time of day if he goes around complimenting everyone... Then again, I'm not there so it could be like you said... But I seriously doubt it's low self-esteem.. No offense TS...
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My personal opinion is that they may not take it as a compliment b/c they may see him as a player... Some women are funny that way, they won't give a man the time of day if he goes around complimenting everyone... Then again, I'm not there so it could be like you said... But I seriously doubt it's low self-esteem.. No offense TS... True hard to say why it happens with certain ones and not others. |
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Perhaps they have actual confidence and are looking for something more than 'compliments as usual'...
and lines. |
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I don't know about that problem, but great photos and bio! (((D))) miss you darlin' You, too, gorgeous! 
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Perhaps they have actual confidence and are looking for something more than 'compliments as usual'... and lines. I am attempting to place myself in this situation... At a gig...music playing...a break in the music...one of the musos wanders towards the group...compliments each person as he looks them in the eye and shakes their hand...by the time he got to me, I would ask a question... Why do you feel the need to do that? Do I have low self esteem??? Bwha hahahaha!!!! Nope. Compliment me on my hair, smell, shirt, shoes, whatever, after just complimenting every other person on something, I would be highly suspicious of it's authenticity.... and nope, it isn't because I have low self esteem at all. |
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I approach everyone the same way. Men, women or children. I say hello and pay them some kind of complement. To a man this may be "wow, that's a very cool tie." To a woman it might be "you are so cute." Then I shake hands, tell them my name and ask for theirs. This is all within about 30 seconds. They don't have enough time to really form any opinion of me. I have no opinion of them. I'm just saying hi. Here's my thinking. If someone says "Hey, nice shirt." A person with low self esteem might ask "what's wrong with it?" He has turned to complement into an insult by assuming it was given sarcasticly. On the other hand, someone might say "that is one f***ed up shirt." A person with high self esteem would smile and say "yeah, it's so cool. I love it!" This turns the insult into a joke. As far as those who think there is something wrong with me. I think this is unliklely. I get along great with about 90% of the people I meet. I'm just a happy, social guy that most people seem to enjoy talking with. I assume they enjoy it because they buy me drinks, laugh at my jokes and hug me when I show up. All except this one group of women. So, you compliment everyone you meet, no matter what? Perhaps that's why some people may see it as insincere. Try complimenting people when you really have something to compliment them on, rather than complimenting them because you do that for everyone. |
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I just wouldn't worry about the other %10.
Really. |
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