I spoke to a young 22yr old girl last night for 3 hrs on the phone, I do counseling, and she has a 1yr old daughter, She said, My boyfriend wrote me a piece of paper to say he has been cheating on me and yet we have been together for 2 yrs {but he dose not believe in marriage so he would not marry me when we had are daughter he told me to get rid of her or to keep her but he would not marry her}, he called to ask me if I have received it and she said NO... so he told her on the phone he has been with another women for over 6 months and that he is leaving her and he wants his child on the weekends..

Last night because of "no tax" in this state he came and dropped off money so she could buy a few things for her and the baby.

The young girl said, I love him but I don’t believe he loves me?

I said but he came and thought of you and the baby he did not have to do this, she said but I know he dose not love me, I said because of that is why he found a new women, you don’t believe he loves you.. But you love him... so that means this...

YOU want man to hate you so he can love someone else because you don’t believe you can be loved so you pushed him away.

She said, No! I love him I said your right, but you never allowed him to love you and you would not believe he loved you and you would not accept him to love you so you ... showed him that you don’t believe you can ever be loved by him..

If he can not feel that you love him and he is hurting you emotionally then he should not be with you for he loves you so much he has to leave so he dose not do this anymore...

This is how so many women on this site feel it is also how so many men portray women...

I want to love you but I can not because I know you will never accept or love me.

With this kind of thinking... NO one can love anyone.

ONLY a few a few, has enough courage to ask a women out and take a chance and say I will give it a try.

And if women would stand up and say, this is the man, I think you could be good for me.

His integrity was there and he new he could not live it... That was very true but what it showed was this...

We marry women, we have kids with women, and then were dose it all goes wrong, it is women want and want more and more, they want what they want.

If the man believes he can not afford her or the lifestyle she lives... then he stops trying, he walks away leaving the children needs.

ONLY a few men want the best for women, only a few that are hard to fine because they are married.

This guy did not want to marry her, didn't want this child, told her to get rid of it, yet you told her he loved her and SHE was the one who pushed HIM away? I must be missing a piece here.

NEver EVER be with a guy that does you...Sounds like he is a jerk & sounds like she is too needy of him. You cannot force someone to you no matter what

Shenanigans. I know for a fact besides a few on here, that there is more

That is sad

I'm confused......

Does not want to marry her
Said get rid of the kid or don't I do not care
As been with another woman for 6 months

And he you say he still loves her,

I guess love for you as not the same meaning as it does for me.

when i found out i was pg with my son ,my ex hubby (bf at the time)
was talking about abortion, and i left him and 3weeks later he came running back into my life... thinking he would change. we constantly fought. in fact he didnt see our son untill he was 2weeks old because we were arguing to much and i didnt want him around me or the kids.. put it this way we didnt even celebrate our first annerversary together

and to find out later he had a son that is 3months older than my son
yea he cheated more than once..the girl he got together with while we were separated, he cheated on her with his 2nd wife, and yea he also cheated on her...

the girl he was with while we were separated, they had a child. and the 2nd wife they also had a child.. she 19now

YOU said here,,,,I do counseling,,,,,,,,

Well,thats a LARGE statement. Do you have a degree to show that YOU are entitled to give what your calling some professional help to the ones you counsel???
Because WE COULD ALL SAY WE DO COUNSELING,wink,lol

As to your response to her scenario here, I do not agree with you at all. And NO, I am NOT a degreed professional to be help through that formal education and degree.
HOWEVER, I am a man who through the experiences of my living it.
Have witnessed every kind of conflicts in a relationship.
And I also have MET and had many conversations with counselors
who in my respect,,,SHOULD NOT HAVE RECIEVED A DEGREE TO DO,OR BE.
As THEY have no true concepts of rational identity them selves , let alone another persons personality..
Sometimes we as humans tend to be biases in our own thoughts w/o really identifying to our selves that we our.
I feel the above, is a stereotyped belief that only YOU have in YOUR mind,,not a fact to cover EVERY WOMAN, nor EVERY MAN.
Again, this like any and all of my HELP on here,,,is not PROFESSIONALLY GIVEN......just my minds view of it..

That doesn't sound like anything close to love to me.

"Last night because of "no tax" in this state he came and dropped off money so she could buy a few things for her and the baby."

I don't understand how one can think that dropping off some money when he won't marry her, he has a gf while they're together, and he said to get rid of the baby can mean that he loves her. It's not even close to love. I'm thinking that maybe he felt some guilt.

I didn't see anything saying that he paid child support, btw.

It sounds like you are blaming her for this guy being a jerk. I don't agree with your reasoning, from what you wrote. He came and gave her money, not out of love, but out of guilt.

Sillyatheart, I RESPECT your desires to help others, I respect your
Christian faith, I respect your Degree or Certificate to be a teacher

But to misrepresent your abilities to others will come back and bite ya sometimes or do more bad than good to the ones who turn to you for a professional guidance to their problems,wink,.
I did not want to nor would I try and hurt your feelings here, as I am sure you feel your qualified to counsel others..
I just TRY and read what others post and define their questions as to my answers to what they ask, wink..YOUR a remarkable woman and
your compassion's run deep...I am glad your here and I am glad you do everything you do as a means to help others...
PLEASE, have a great day and I look forward to reading more of your posts and ideas,,,,

I have no idea where you get your thinking from, but if it was me in the situation the guy would have been gone before he had a chance to cheat on me. Not even because of the whole marriage thing either but because he doesn't have enough responsibility to step up when she's pregnant, suggesting she just get's rid of it or keep it. She should have gotten rid of him cause that says he doesn't care about anyone but himself. Men and woman cheat because they are selfish and don't care about anyone but themselves. They are too lazy to say OK this isn't working for me, or is this something we can work on, so instead they take the low road. If your licensed to give advice please do yourself a favor and turn it in.

AS A TRAINED COUNSELOR YOU ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO KEEP PARTICULARS OF YOUR CLIENT CONFIDENTIAL AND ONLY DIVULGE IF REQUESTED LEGALLY.

I was waiting for something like this.

did she ever say she was trained? it was too long and confusing for me to read all of it, but i'm not sure if she said she was trained. anyone can claim to be a counselor, hell i "counsel" people all the time for free, and i have no training at all.

I counsel people for free as well, but I don't pop onto a forum and divulge everything we talk about. That isn't my place of business, I'm merely here to talk too and I will listen, I'm not going to embarass the person or situation by posting it on the internet where anyone can read it.

As long as I have been alone it would be real easy to be jaded and say few men care...I'm just not buying that. There are a lot of good men out there as there are good women...and we all are pretty much looking for the same thing.
This seems to be a very young insecure couple..I don't think it applies to all of us..