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| Topic: seriously fat | |
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would you be okay with me posting your comment on our blog? i think the kids need to see your story and know its not some crazy pipedream.
alot of us are goin through the same **** and its been insane to see so many of us suffer from it. alot of us have had to make sacrifices that have forced us to deal with our weight in a different manor and i don't want anyone to give up. let me know. thanks :) ps i would have sent this in private messages but i'm not within 50 miles of you LOL |
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so okay... i never post anything personal in here because this is usually my laughing ground. but today i'm just at a loss as to what to do. I moved back into my mother's house in order to go back to school and start over. I'm here to help her with her loneliness. apparently that was a huge mistake. We are both fat. I mean fat. I know this.. and she knows this. but as she complains about herself, she does nothing about it. she eats what she wants, cooks what she wants and lives how she wants. and is getting bigger and bigger as life progresses. yesterday night i watched her eat an entire pint of rocky road ice cream and i couldn't help but cry because it took every single drop of willpower in me to put my ice cream away without eating it all. its getting harder and harder to watch her indulge her addiction while i fight mine. so i'm doing something that is going to kill me. i'm foregoing school. i'm moving out. i'm scrapping the dream because if i don't, i'm going to end up the size of a house with diabetes and kankles. what else can i do!? 1. your going back to school so you will not be there 9 hrs of the day and 2 more hours are for doing homework so you leave at 8am and come home at 7pm.. That only leaves you to grab a quick snack of vegetable and fruits and head off to bed with a kiss on your mom's head saying.. I love you thanks and good night.. 2. Make sure you take a nutrition class at college and even use the gym time and swimming pool... if you really want to change then only you can do it regardless if your in her home or not... it is only you.. 3. if you show your mother your COURAGE, STRENGTH AND WILL POWER... Don't you think she will see them and maybe just maybe take the courage to just put the effort into cutting down on her indulging. and when you cook meals on the weekend don't let her do it, you cook healthy meals.. Don't waist your time....... failing... make it worth your time Succeeding? God bless you.. |
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Sure...because I've been exact;y where you are and I know how friggin' hard it is. You feel like it's all uphill, but trust me there is a point where it all falls in line. Something clicks and it doesn't seem like such a battle. You're not dreaming the impossible dream. You will succeed. Everything in due time.
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hey am really sorry for what is going on with your mam. be strong let me tell you one thing a good advise don't live your mam be next to her and show her that you can do it she might relized it one day and quite every thing. when she buy some thing that is not good for her health trow it away and replace it with some thing good for her. you know one day i was wachin Tv TLC chenal i was so amezed this guy was alomst 2000 pound you know what happen tow track come to take hem to the hospital imagen that so what am saying is show her staff like this b/c one day when she is gone you will say why i didn't help her
i was so skinny when i say skinny really skinny 97pound for frekken 10 years now am 26years old and i wight 130 b/c i just had a baby and am haveing really bad time to loose my wight. right now my baby is 4 mon.... in 4 mon.. i lost 26 pounds let me tell you what i did during the day i excercise i have tradmill in my house every thime when my baby gose to sleep i walk on that thing and at night i go to 24 fithnas and swim and i set in steem room for like one houre.and when i go home i will eat spinch it is really good for you even if you dont work out befor you go to bed eat spinch you will see the change |
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Please don't ever give up your dreams.u need to live your own life and do what is best for yourself now.
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I think school is very important too. Can you get her to go to weight watcher with yah. And stay away as mush a possible other wise. Do yah have a part time job to keep yah busy?
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Real sorry to hear about your situation.
If living with a parent is not healthy for you then it is wise to find somewhere else to live. I would try to be calm and make it a positive move rather than just a reaction you might later regret. It is pretty evident that your Mom's dietary habits show she is not willing to change her habits; at least not now. That is a tough choice for you but it is not your fault and you can't make her do otherwise until it is her choice. If you do differently maybe she will be motivated to follow. Either way you have to save yourself. My first thought was just because your living situation needs to change you do not necessarily have to ditch school. Maybe for a semester but not permenently. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion until you know for sure. Since houseing is a common hurdle for college students I would go talk to a school counselor. Often they can come up with positive suggestions. Maybe house you in a dorm, match you with a room mate. Find you a modest price apartment or room in a boarding house. Often it will increase your need for aid. An on campus job can help work out short falls while you apply for scholarships. If you can't change your living arrangements immediately you can make arrangements by maybe transferring to a different school. You are a smart woman focus your energy on solving your problems and ignore Mom. That may mean camping out at the school library or student union but that will help you make constructive friendships. You know you have many here. We are all rooting for you. |
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thanks. yeah. i just talked to my best friend and she was telling me that its a matter of organizing what needs to be done. prioritize. i have to let school go for now but maybe next semester i'll be in a better situation.
i don't know. i hope so. i can't be doing this crap anymore. i'm getting too old to be this confused. |
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thanks. yeah. i just talked to my best friend and she was telling me that its a matter of organizing what needs to be done. prioritize. i have to let school go for now but maybe next semester i'll be in a better situation. i don't know. i hope so. i can't be doing this crap anymore. i'm getting too old to be this confused. You are never too old to get confused.  Just know that you have friends to talk to, most of the time that helps. 
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I think sometimes parents disable themselves and their children by packing on the pounds. FOr femal children it is a very effective way of keeping them single and dependent. It is possible if you show your mother that there is something that you can share with her besides food and that you want that part of her in your life she will quit tortureing you with food. I think She is punishing herself because she sees you breaking away from her and is afraid of life with you independent.
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Take care of yourself first!
You won't be able to help your mother if you don't take care of yourself first. Moving out is not a bad choice. It will give you time to do what you need to and work on your own addiction without the temptation from your mother. Once you are confident and feel good about yourself and are comfortable that you won't fall back into your own addiction then you can return to your mother and try to help her. Right now the decision seems hard, but in the long run it might be the best decision you ever made. Best wishes livelife |
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When I was 25...I weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 330 pounds.
I absolutely hated myself. I couldn't stand to look myself in the face when I looked in a mirror. I decided it was time to do something about it. The thing is, I didn't use any particular diet. I just decided that I would still eat the things that I like. I would just eat less of them. I cut the portions in half for a year. Trust me, they were still large portions. After that year, I cut the portions in half again. I did this so that my body would have time to adjust to the new plan. It took me about 6 years to drop 130 pounds. But I didn't starve myself. I didn't send my body's system into complete chaos. I am now very close to 40 years old. I weigh in at a steady 200 pounds. Sometimes a few pounds more, sometimes a few pounds less. I still eat whatever I want. I cook foods that I enjoy eating. It's VERY hard to lose weight. I have seen a couple of threads in the forums about women who take their caloric intake down to levels that are barely enough to survive. That kind of diet simply does not work. Ever. People forget that to burn fat, the body has to have the energy to burn fat. 1500 calorie diets do not provide enough energy so the body starts to store energy in the form of fat to make up the difference. Or it will just slow the metabolism to the point that it burns the energy too slowly to help lose fat. Sorry. Got off on a tangent there. Take everything you normally eat, and just cut the amount of it in half. You can still enjoy the things you love. |
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Different view. Be tough enough to stay, go to school & lose weight. Show mom it can be done, just takes determination & desire. ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE???? I totaly agree.This is just another hurdle that can be one. Best of luck!You can do it!  
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Edited by
iam4u
on
Sun 08/09/09 01:37 PM
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so okay... i never post anything personal in here because this is usually my laughing ground. but today i'm just at a loss as to what to do. I moved back into my mother's house in order to go back to school and start over. I'm here to help her with her loneliness. apparently that was a huge mistake. We are both fat. I mean fat. I know this.. and she knows this. but as she complains about herself, she does nothing about it. she eats what she wants, cooks what she wants and lives how she wants. and is getting bigger and bigger as life progresses. yesterday night i watched her eat an entire pint of rocky road ice cream and i couldn't help but cry because it took every single drop of willpower in me to put my ice cream away without eating it all. its getting harder and harder to watch her indulge her addiction while i fight mine. so i'm doing something that is going to kill me. i'm foregoing school. i'm moving out. i'm scrapping the dream because if i don't, i'm going to end up the size of a house with diabetes and kankles. what else can i do!? Each episode of her gorging food,,and her breathing, and all her complaints,,,HEAR THEM,,FEEL THEM,,and "KNOW" YOUR not going to be this way ANYMORE! USE her home and finish your education,,THAT WILL HELP YOU REALLY CHANGE ALL of your living qualities... Its a set FASION of MIND,,,that MANY can use,,,YOU might be able to do this,,and it would be worth a try. Because your flip side angle,,is ALL bad,,, IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOU,,,,YOU CAN CHANGE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO... Let HER and YOUR problem,,,BLOSSOM INTO,,,A HER ISSUE ONLY...and work to be positive,,toward you, work-out, walk, get out after you see her indulge,,and DON'T eat WITH HER, Tell her YOUR not very hungry,,,,piece on something before hand as to really feel this way,,,but watch that to,wink, After she eats,,,YOU WORK YOUR BODY AND MIND,,,get busy doing something physical and MOVE THAT BODY,,hell,go dance in your room,,garage,back porch,,,anywhere.. But if you THINK this may work,,PLEASE,,try it before ya leave everything you got going now. OTHERS  DO CARE ABOUT YOU, and I am one of them. If you need a friend,,please email me and we can talk.. I hope life and living, get stronger and better,, This place here can help you keep your mind right,and off of eating,,but it ALSO,,KEEPS YOU IN-ACTIVE,,so beware of that to... Being better is a VERY HARD thing to really WANT-TO-DO... But YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!  
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While I would hate to see you scrap your plans, you have to do what is good for you. You cannot change anyone else but yourself and it does not sound like your mom is at a point where she is ready to change. She's an adult, she knows she is dying a slow death, but she does not have the right to ask (guilt) you to watch. I wish you the best.
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Much of an overeating problem is emotional. You need to get your emotions under control. Diversion may work. Go to school and study hard. Use your mothers place only as a crash pad. Get up early, go to school, go to the library the gym and to classes. Come home late and go to bed. Take it day to day. You don't need to quit eating pizza forever you just don't need to eat any today. Get out of the house on weekends, go to friends, walk in the mall, go to the library, the gym or spend the day chopping wood. Keep busy.
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Much of an overeating problem is emotional. You need to get your emotions under control. Diversion may work. Go to school and study hard. Use your mothers place only as a crash pad. Get up early, go to school, go to the library the gym and to classes. Come home late and go to bed. Take it day to day. You don't need to quit eating pizza forever you just don't need to eat any today. Get out of the house on weekends, go to friends, walk in the mall, go to the library, the gym or spend the day chopping wood. Keep busy. In a nutshell...... 
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Get yourself one of those apartment sized refrigerators for your room to put your goodies in. Maybe set up a snack time for the two fo you and you disappear into your room. Just one step at a time.
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Also, tack up a chart. Everytime you lose a pound or an ounce you get a star. Sounds elementary but it might just be the visual that your Mom might pay attention to.
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Let me tell you that I am absolutely living proof that it can be done. I used to weigh 400lbs. I was miserable. I couldn't lay down to sleep because I couldn't breathe laying down. I couldn't wear a swimming suit...I couldn't keep up with my friends...and I felt so UGLY. The breaking point came when I was 22 and I was admited to the hospital with blood poisoning. The doctor told me that I had a 15% chance at surviving and walking out of the hospital. He didn't sugar coat anything...if I survived I had better make some drastic changes...and I did. I knew that a lot of the time I was just mindlessly eating. I didn't even think about it...just cramed as much as I could in my mouth. That had to change. I had to start THINKING about what I ate...and why. I promptly put signs on the fridge and cupboards that said, "Are you REALLY hungry?" I forced myself to answer the question each and every time I went for food. There is a huge differance between mindless eating and thoughtful eating. When you actually think about the food you slow down. You enjoy each bite. It's not about denial...it's not about forbidding some foods in lieu of others...and it's not about anyone but you. Trust me, I know about temptation. I know how hard it is to watch someone eat an entire box of Twinkies...or devour a carton of ice cream. After a while though, you just stop caring about what other people do and you start concentrating on just you. You focus on how good you feel...how proud you are of your accomplishments...how far you've come. It's been 10 years since that doctor gave me a death sentence. 240lbs. thinner...a hell of a lot healthier...and so much happier. I still indulge in ice cream, just not a pint. The house still has junk food but I've learned how to enjoy it without going overboard. I can enjoy the taste of chocolate without eating a king sized candy bar. In fact, one Hershey's Kiss is enough to satisfy a chocolate craving...if you do it right. Don't give up on school...and don't give up on you. Life is measured in baby steps. Live life one day at a time...and if that's too hard, the live it one hour at a time. Remember that you are a strong, smart and beautiful woman...and you can do ANYTHING- no matter how hard it may seem. And if you ever need an understanding ear..I'm here.
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