Topic: How Nice is Too Nice?
John1932's photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:24 AM
Edited by John1932 on Wed 08/05/09 05:27 AM


There is a difference in 1)being a yes man or yes woman and 2)agreeing on someones point of view.
You may have your own opinion, but if someone makes a good point against your opinion, then what is wrong with saying, "Good Point" or "thats True" or "Good Job"

I have my own opinions, but if I am debating an issue and someone makes a good point against my opinion, I will let them know they have made a good point. That is not being a Yes man. That is being someone who agrees to disagree. I guess that is the nice side of me, the side that wants to respect other peoples opinion while still standing firm to my own.

I want to be a nice person because thats who I am, not because I want people to think I'm nice. hope that makes sense.





Well, yes. It is good to be able to agree to disagree, but would you say yes to three different opinions without having your own?

I think not.

No, but if it was a good point to considering a view on a topic then I would acknowledge that it was a good point. Sometimes Good points are made and I may change my opinion based on them points.
For instance, If a friend of mine wanted to marry a woman and he asked my opinion, I would tell him that if he loves her and she loves him then go for it, I am happy for you. You two would make a good couple.
Later I may hear someone else s opinion that says no, they shouldn't get married, they make a bad couple and will never last. well I will stand firm to my opinion that I think they should get married, but if this person says, yea, but you don't know what I know, this friend of yours has three different woman that he is seeing at the same time and one of them is pregnant with his child, then my opinion will change because of the points that were made, the new facts that make me see that this isn't such a good idea after all.

Wow, sorry to go so deep into this... lol

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:30 AM
No, but if it was a good point to considering a view on a topic then I would acknowledge that it was a good point. Sometimes Good points are made and I may change my opinion based on them points.
For instance, If a friend of mine wanted to marry a woman and he asked my opinion, I would tell him that if he loves her and she loves him then go for it, I am happy for you. You two would make a good couple.
Later I may hear someone else s opinion that says no, they shouldn't get married, they make a bad couple and will never last. well I will stand firm to my opinion that I think they should get married, but if this person says, yea, but you don't know what I know, this friend of yours has there different woman that he is seeing at the same time and one of them is pregnant with his child, then my opinion will change because of the points that were made, the new facts that make me see that this isn't such a good idea after all.

Wow, sorry to go so deep into this... lol


This is ok, I do change my point of view too when I think it necessary, but I do have an opinion to begin with, same as you obviously do.
But I don't go around saying yes, yes, yes to all and sundry, I make my own stance known in the beginning. If my stance changes I will say so, and I'll give my reason for it, however controversial it might seem at the time.
I would never agree to something for the sake of agreeing.

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:38 AM
I am me and can't be anything else,

Like me or not what can i do about it,

I say what i have to say and won't change it for you or anybody and I expect you to be the same, I respect your beliefs and I hope you will respect mine,

I'm not here to make friends I have some already, I'm here to express myself tell my point of view on subject that interests me and yes sometimes vent a little,

I do not expect anything out of mingle2 but will take whatever life brings to me.

BonnyMiss's photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:48 AM
Hi Sommer, hope your day is going swimmingly well.waving

I think for the most part, like yourself,I (as you say) shrug my 'internet shoulders' in certain situations, I am too long in the tooth to babysit other's opinions (adults) I do care and strive to make a difference to the students I have in my charge and to those adults who feel that my example makes a difference. I detest missing an opportunity of reaping from the orchard of young minds.My passing years have taught me a lot and has stood me in good stead, I have entered my "I know who I am, I am comfortable in my own skin and know where I am going phase" I am enjoying every second of it.

I have been accused of being argumentative by someone here on this forum, did that label upset me? Hell no!! I carried on regardless

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:51 AM

Hi Sommer, hope your day is going swimmingly well.waving

I think for the most part, like yourself,I (as you say) shrug my 'internet shoulders' in certain situations, I am too long in the tooth to babysit other's opinions (adults) I do care and strive to make a difference to the students I have in my charge and to those adults who feel that my example makes a difference. I detest missing an opportunity of reaping from the orchard of young minds.My passing years have taught me a lot and has stood me in good stead, I have entered my "I know who I am, I am comfortable in my own skin and know where I am going phase" I am enjoying every second of it.

I have been accused of being argumentative by someone here on this forum, did that label upset me? Hell no!! I carried on regardless




Boxes

Somebody has placed me in a box,
Labelled me, stamped me.
Darkness around me,
No windows to look out,
Claustrophobic.
Trying to peel off the labels,
For every one removed
Two are placed anew.
I am weary.

What will happen to my spirit here
Trapped in darkness,
Lid closed down on me
Will it wither?
Will it retreat into itself?
The walls draw closer
Or?
Is it my spirit growing?
Ready to shatter the walls?
Flying out into the open,
Roaming free, unfettered
Seeing the light.
I am me again.

Sommer41's photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:59 AM

Hi Sommer, hope your day is going swimmingly well.waving

I think for the most part, like yourself,I (as you say) shrug my 'internet shoulders' in certain situations, I am too long in the tooth to babysit other's opinions (adults) I do care and strive to make a difference to the students I have in my charge and to those adults who feel that my example makes a difference. I detest missing an opportunity of reaping from the orchard of young minds.My passing years have taught me a lot and has stood me in good stead, I have entered my "I know who I am, I am comfortable in my own skin and know where I am going phase" I am enjoying every second of it.

I have been accused of being argumentative by someone here on this forum, did that label upset me? Hell no!! I carried on regardless



Hi Bonny

I am filing ma nails, taxing eh?

I completely understand you. In some respects I deal with forum behaviour as I would deal with something face to face, with a person I know and this brings me to my point, that I do feel that many people are cushioned in forums, they have the audience, people can come in and say 'there, there'

Take them out of that safety net and it would be a whole different kettle of fish, they would be lost and unable to handle such a situation.

I have been accused, like you of many things, cold, that I have a superiority complex, I act headmistressy, patronising and aloof.

Thing is, I quite like all of those titles, it keeps people away from me that I would cross the street to avoid.

I am with you in that I am comfortable with who I am, where I am in life, how I look and have none of those hangups and questions that I see with many people, of my age.




BonnyMiss's photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:04 AM



Boxes

Somebody has placed me in a box,
Labelled me, stamped me.
Darkness around me,
No windows to look out,
Claustrophobic.
Trying to peel off the labels,
For every one removed
Two are placed anew.
I am weary.

What will happen to my spirit here
Trapped in darkness,
Lid closed down on me
Will it wither?
Will it retreat into itself?
The walls draw closer
Or?
Is it my spirit growing?
Ready to shatter the walls?
Flying out into the open,
Roaming free, unfettered
Seeing the light.
I am me again.



I love this, thank you for sharing. flowerforyou I have lived my entire life where people have tried to compartmentalize me. I just want to be me. I would like to be seen as the person I am, not being discriminated against because of my Race,colour,creed,religious beliefs,political beliefs, my ability/inability to measure up to others...........I let others be, just wished they would let me be me. But; on the other hand, I soldier on.I refuse to wear their 'label!'

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:21 AM
Nice thread invisible!

For those who know me know that I use to give strong opinions in the many threads on the various forums, but then I realized for what! What am I trying to achieve by arguing and debating various topics, so I let it go and observe keeping most of my opinions to myself?

Today I spend more time entertaining as many people as possible by drawing pictures of them. You send me a photo and I will draw you! Why do I do it? It relaxes me and I learn alot from it believe it or not.

I like to see that smiley icon or a nice compliment after they see themselves drawn.

We must understand we are all brought up in different parts of the world with different idealogies, yet somehow manage to find a way to communicate with each other with simple words here on this site. We can share our experiences, dramas, successes, hard times and good times, and even satisfy our taste on curiosities.

We are mammals and mammals are social animals that need to have somekind of social belonging. It is in our nature. Some more then others, yet nevertheless, being isolated from anykind of communication actually can slowly kill us.

This site helps us find friends, maybe even a lover, or at least a moment of recognition, which uplifts us for that moment of the day.

With our different characteristics we will find a way to communicate with one another most of the time and if not then we always have that famous "block" button to click on if we need the peace from destruction!laugh

Have fun everyonedrinker




galendgirl's photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:25 AM
Why can't a person be smart, confident, secure about themselves and their ideas and generally nice as well? That doesn't mean everyone will like them or they won't ever step on toes - that isn't the point. "Nice" may be a 4-letter word but it doesn't even get censored on Mingle!

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:33 AM
Hummm I have always just tried to be me at times sure I watch what I say. Due to I have no desire to cut anyone down or belittle them for what they say. But... I will stand up to what I believe regardless but with facts not to slander that person or make them look small.

I do not care for another when they try to do the reverse to me to me stick to the facts or move on. I'm not one to back down but I will walk away and ignore them once they start with accusing me of things they don't seem to have any idea about me once I have of course said my peace that is.

I've never been known to change my mind every few minutes just to please others. And don't have a problem telling others what I do think whether the situation is for my benefit or for another.

I will take up for anyone if I feel they are right regardless who they are. Believe me I'm one that has a voice and does use it......bigsmile

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:40 AM
I scare people...but it's cool, I have a few friends for some reason or another...I have quite a few more, but I had to force them under my stoop...now they don't have a choice but to join me for dinner whenever I want them too...

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:56 AM

I scare people...but it's cool, I have a few friends for some reason or another...I have quite a few more, but I had to force them under my stoop...now they don't have a choice but to join me for dinner whenever I want them too...


Ummmmhhhhh...............

Nice.scared


:laughing:

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 06:57 AM
I AM to NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:01 AM

I AM to NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol


Nah, just nice.flowerforyou

AGoodGuy1026's photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:01 AM
OP: I don't know you but I don't like you already! rofl

seriously tho, some people have issues - and they are 'people pleasers' and will put pleasing everyone ahead of all else, even being true to themselves...

they lead lonly lives, unable to accept love (ant therefore participate in a real relationship)...

I feel sorry for them (the people pleasers)... sometimes people just need to be told to F****off!!...
:thumbsup:

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:04 AM

OP: I don't know you but I don't like you already! rofl

seriously tho, some people have issues - and they are 'people pleasers' and will put pleasing everyone ahead of all else, even being true to themselves...

they lead lonly lives, unable to accept love (ant therefore participate in a real relationship)...

I feel sorry for them (the people pleasers)... sometimes people just need to be told to F****off!!...
:thumbsup:


Well, you better join the club then.

It's the one with the higher membership number, meaning it's cheaper.tongue2

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:04 AM

OP: I don't know you but I don't like you already! rofl

seriously tho, some people have issues - and they are 'people pleasers' and will put pleasing everyone ahead of all else, even being true to themselves...

they lead lonly lives, unable to accept love (ant therefore participate in a real relationship)...

I feel sorry for them (the people pleasers)... sometimes people just need to be told to F****off!!...
:thumbsup:
This is TRUE, but some people, have NO GIVE, and THEY should just be left alone,wink One with no heart, will never have a real start.

BonnyMiss's photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:05 AM


OP: I don't know you but I don't like you already! rofl

seriously tho, some people have issues - and they are 'people pleasers' and will put pleasing everyone ahead of all else, even being true to themselves...

they lead lonly lives, unable to accept love (ant therefore participate in a real relationship)...

I feel sorry for them (the people pleasers)... sometimes people just need to be told to F****off!!...
:thumbsup:


Well, you better join the club then.

It's the one with the higher membership number, meaning it's cheaper.tongue2


No,free. bigsmile

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:06 AM



OP: I don't know you but I don't like you already! rofl

seriously tho, some people have issues - and they are 'people pleasers' and will put pleasing everyone ahead of all else, even being true to themselves...

they lead lonly lives, unable to accept love (ant therefore participate in a real relationship)...

I feel sorry for them (the people pleasers)... sometimes people just need to be told to F****off!!...
:thumbsup:


Well, you better join the club then.

It's the one with the higher membership number, meaning it's cheaper.tongue2


No,free. bigsmile


How'd you know?frown

Gossipmpm's photo
Wed 08/05/09 07:09 AM
Wowi like this!

I'm just me

Nice

Sometimes I get argumenative but I just remain nice about it cause that's me

Do I expect everyone or want them to like me. No. Does not matter to me

I'm me. What can I do?:heart: