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| Topic: How Nice is Too Nice? | |
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How'd you know?  Because you let me become a member without charging me.  You better give me your credit card details asap, I'm sure I just overlooked you because I thought you were............ ummmmmmmmmhhhhhhh............. NICE  Sorry Sir, I no longer use my credit card for the purposes it was intended.............It makes a rather nice scraper for getting ice off my windscreen.  I still maintain you are nice. Sir????????????????  Must be a long time since I looked, but I remember being a woman then.  
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How'd you know? Because you let me become a member without charging me. You better give me your credit card details asap, I'm sure I just overlooked you because I thought you were............ ummmmmmmmmhhhhhhh............. NICE Sorry Miss, I no longer use my credit card for the purposes it was intended.............It makes a rather nice scraper for getting ice off my windscreen. I still maintain you are nice. Sir???????????????? Must be a long time since I looked, but I remember being a woman then. Oh poop! Sorry invisible, I am also chatting to someone on Yahell, this multi-tasking is not all it cracked up to be. My apologies. 
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No worries.
 I actually thought it funny. 
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No worries. I actually thought it funny. I'm glad you did and you did not take me too seriously........ I need to concentrate a bit more.
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I have definately irritated some people on here but not intentionally or directly. I have noticed that there are some people that jump on (to the n'th degree) when they see a storm a brewing. I will make a stand when I feel strongly about something and if the forum asks for opinions. I would prefer to be liked for who I am and those are the people that are most like me in here. I would not trust a wishy washy any way.
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I am guarded almost all of the time when I am here, reason? I don't think I want to be too open to all and sundry on the internet. I am not sure if people are who they say they are ( and vice versa) For the best part I have a good timehere and cannot say that I have had too many "confrontational" posts. I take people on the internet at face value, to evaluate each person's character here on this site is a daunting prospect,too many differences. However, I like to think I am fair-minded and accept (for the most part)people for who they seem to be.........Does that make me a "yes" person? Perhaps, but then, I don't care how people perceive me,they are entitled to their own opinions and I respect that.Those who are important to me are living in the same town as myself and I can visit them knowing they accept me for who I am, and I them.BTW, Invisible, I can see you.  Hi Bonny I have not been here very long, but I do feel a sense of what you say above, certainly cemented by the few exchanges you and I have had in a topic. I am fond of the 'yes person' term and that I describe in my 'nice' arena, I have come across those 'yes people' and if that works for them, fabulous, but I do avoid them, because I like a discussion and a one liner does not do much for me in a debate. Even when a person disagrees with me, I can somehow sense that they are a person I would like to have more discussions with. There are not many topics that I shy away from and for those that know me from another forum, they would nod their heads in agreement, but I cannot control how others feel about my writing. Ultimately, I can log off, I can walk away with a click of the button. I call it self responsibility, I take what I write as my own, I take responsibility for it and if I have offended any person, I will make good, but if they choose to continue some campaign against me and attempt to discredit me, then I shrug my internet shoulders and sigh 'ah well' Why I never feel harrassed or stalked, as many I have come across do. Nice to see you again... You are an intelligent woman Sommer. You are correct. Many do not understand that true debate does not include personal attacks. It is possible to express strong opinions yet retain common courtesy and manners. To be "nice" does not evidence weakness; it shows education and humanity. A "yes" person is too weak to express individuality. |
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Thu 08/06/09 03:07 AM
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I haven't got a 'nice' bone in my body...
I haven't got the capacity to be a sucker upperer... There is no room in me to say 'yes' when I mean no. I have an opinion, and it is mine...it is unwavering, and not able to be conflicted by some needy urge to be liked. In a debate, I am quite capable of hearing the other side....and respect the differences, and be respectful. Respectful, is not nice....nice is insipid...respectful is authentic. Am I liked for who I am? Definitely not. (and the evidence is quite plain) The great part of it is that I always know who truly finds me comfortable to be around, and those that don't. There are no blurred lines. This IS who I am...if you met me on the street, I would be exactly the same... There are rules attached to the privilege to post here...and although I've crossed them often, skirted close to the line, and blatantly defied them...they are here. Yes they minimise me....but it's tough (too bad)....I want to interact with others, I have to toe the line. However in every aspect of my life, I cannot be a 'yes' person....on here, sometimes, I have to learn to be silent. |
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I haven't got a 'nice' bone in my body... I haven't got the capacity to be a sucker upperer... There is no room in me to say 'yes' when I mean no. I have an opinion, and it is mine...it is unwavering, and not able to be conflicted by some needy urge to be liked. In a debate, I am quite capable of hearing the other side....and respect the differences, and be respectful. Respectful, is not nice....nice is insipid...respectful is authentic. Am I liked for who I am? Definitely not. (and the evidence is quite plain) The great part of it is that I always know who truly finds me comfortable to be around, and those that don't. There are no blurred lines. This IS who I am...if you met me on the street, I would be exactly the same... There are rules attached to the privilege to post here...and although I've crossed them often, skirted close to the line, and blatantly defied them...they are here. Yes they minimise me....but it's tough (too bad)....I want to interact with others, I have to toe the line. However in every aspect of my life, I cannot be a 'yes' person....on here, sometimes, I have to learn to be silent. Well, Jessecles, I couldn't agree more with you... I have no wish to break rules, but if another decides that I have crossed them, then I would at least like to be given the chance to recover that. But then, I have been on sites, where there is little censorship and I have still been able to be me. Without being rude. The only difference there is that, people do not resort to behind the scenes nonsense as they can have it all out in the open and that I much prefer, then they all meet up regularly and no person has a problem. |
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I haven't got a 'nice' bone in my body... I haven't got the capacity to be a sucker upperer... There is no room in me to say 'yes' when I mean no. I have an opinion, and it is mine...it is unwavering, and not able to be conflicted by some needy urge to be liked. In a debate, I am quite capable of hearing the other side....and respect the differences, and be respectful. Respectful, is not nice....nice is insipid...respectful is authentic. Am I liked for who I am? Definitely not. (and the evidence is quite plain) The great part of it is that I always know who truly finds me comfortable to be around, and those that don't. There are no blurred lines. This IS who I am...if you met me on the street, I would be exactly the same... There are rules attached to the privilege to post here...and although I've crossed them often, skirted close to the line, and blatantly defied them...they are here. Yes they minimise me....but it's tough (too bad)....I want to interact with others, I have to toe the line. However in every aspect of my life, I cannot be a 'yes' person....on here, sometimes, I have to learn to be silent. I know the feeling. Don't I often sit on my hands, just so I can't let fly? It's hard, and sometimes I fail miserably, but then, I'm not nice anyway.
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Invisible, both you and Sherrie have tried to teach me the art of hand sitting for years....if only I would have listened...
  Sommer...I am all about full disclosure... put it out there..and have someone objective adjudicate, if emotion clouds reason. Some sites are more arbitrary yes...and give no indication as to why action is taken. This site has a very open book policy, and I have ALWAYS been informed where I have crossed the line, and in no uncertain terms have I ever been suspended, without an absolutely warranted reason. I refuse to be less...to be a yes person...however I can learn to be silent. |
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Oh!
Invisible, GREAT topic! For a vegetarian, I can't help myself....I LOVE a meaty topic... 
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Invisible, both you and Sherrie have tried to teach me the art of hand sitting for years....if only I would have listened... Sommer...I am all about full disclosure... put it out there..and have someone objective adjudicate, if emotion clouds reason. Some sites are more arbitrary yes...and give no indication as to why action is taken. This site has a very open book policy, and I have ALWAYS been informed where I have crossed the line, and in no uncertain terms have I ever been suspended, without an absolutely warranted reason. I refuse to be less...to be a yes person...however I can learn to be silent. It sure isn't easy when one isn't used to mince words, but sometimes, once through the grinder, same thing sounds quite different. Hence the hand sitting, using the time to mince words.
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It sure isn't easy when one isn't used to mince words, but sometimes, once through the grinder, same thing sounds quite different. Hence the hand sitting, using the time to mince words. Hahahaha...yes Mother Theresa.... 
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You've got me thinking, Invisible...(uh oh)
Words....they are either incredibly powerful, when the intent is clear... and so very revealing, when it is for one to only gain an insipid approval. I find it fascinating that oftentimes, exactly that happens, when reading threads...a poster posts some smarmy agreement to a point...then a page or two over, there is an opposing point, and that same poster chimes in with agreement and accolades...with no justification for the change of agreement. Sadly, I have a concise manner...my words as written, are blunt, direct, and often strike to the bone. The INTENT is to communicate....the ASSUMPTION is that the intent is to harm. If I choose to INTENTIONALLY harm, ban my arse....wipe me as a friend...throw me on the streets. (be that forums, friends or family).. I am intelligent enough to know the difference between them. |
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Invisible, both you and Sherrie have tried to teach me the art of hand sitting for years....if only I would have listened... Sommer...I am all about full disclosure... put it out there..and have someone objective adjudicate, if emotion clouds reason. Some sites are more arbitrary yes...and give no indication as to why action is taken. This site has a very open book policy, and I have ALWAYS been informed where I have crossed the line, and in no uncertain terms have I ever been suspended, without an absolutely warranted reason. I refuse to be less...to be a yes person...however I can learn to be silent. Yes, this is why I like it here, I feel and from the mouth propoganda I have had, that the moderators are fair and will inform you when one oversteps the mark, at least then a person has the ability to recover it. Unlike some places we could mention, eh ladies? I will say what I think, but if I find something that I know I will say something that may not sit very well with me, I often just walk away. I like the discussions, I am fond of a lot of threads, ones like these where people can express themselves and be open I do like and of course the ones that I am passionate about and the ones where I learn something. I'm off for some good lunch now in my garden, weather is beautiful here and it seems a waste to be inside, as wonderful as you gals are... |
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Enjoy your beautiful day Sommer...
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Edited by
invisible
on
Thu 08/06/09 03:42 AM
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You've got me thinking, Invisible...(uh oh) Words....they are either incredibly powerful, when the intent is clear... and so very revealing, when it is for one to only gain an insipid approval. I find it fascinating that oftentimes, exactly that happens, when reading threads...a poster posts some smarmy agreement to a point...then a page or two over, there is an opposing point, and that same poster chimes in with agreement and accolades...with no justification for the change of agreement. Sadly, I have a concise manner...my words as written, are blunt, direct, and often strike to the bone. The INTENT is to communicate....the ASSUMPTION is that the intent is to harm. If I choose to INTENTIONALLY harm, ban my arse....wipe me as a friend...throw me on the streets. (be that forums, friends or family).. I am intelligent enough to know the difference between them. I do understand that, especially if one is very passionate about things. The answer comes quick, is written down, posted, and someone takes offense, whether it is given or not. That is why I often take my time, trying to find words that say the same, but can be in no way taken as an offense. As I said, often I fail miserably, but I'm sure by the time I die I have gotten much better. Sommer, have a great day out there.
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