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Topic: Do men ask women on dates anymore?
heavenlyboy34's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:18 PM

I don't remember if I ever started a thread like this or not, but I DO know I have mentioned it before.

I have NEVER been asked on a date since WELL before my marriage. I've been divorced almost three years now. Three years of guys hitting on me, but never a date request.

Why is this? Do men not ask ladies on dates anymore? Why not? What the hell happened?


I can't believe a lady as lovely as you isn't asked out on a regular basis. :O I know I would ask you out! You're so beauuuuuutiful and sweet! :) ;)

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:18 PM
And I think between justaguy and Billy I'm gonne have ONE HELL of a headache! frustrated laugh


We kid because we care, love. LOL

galendgirl's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:19 PM

And I think between justaguy and Billy I'm gonne have ONE HELL of a headache! frustrated laugh


We kid because we care, love. LOL


It's being ignored we should all worry about! noway

snarkytwain's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:20 PM


You are a unique guy, Lex...no doubt! You know we luv it!

The 'inevitable' is just part of the risk two people take. It's nice if that isn't a foregone conclusion when WHOMEVER asks initially and/or based on the gender of the asker/askee.


Well, I'm a little concerned about this "double standard" idea. Is there any reason to believe that the rejection rate for women asking men out would be any greater than it is for men asking women out?

Intuitively, it seems to me that the women would be rejected LESS frequently, although this could be a perceptual error on my part.

But let's say it's true -- then, women asking men out, with fewer overall rejections, would seem to lead (at least on a percentage basis) to more potential "matches" than the other way around (assuming some way to equalize the number of women asking with the number of men asking -- but even if you can't do that, I'm thinking the "staggered" numbers would still be extremely revealing).

On the other hand, I can say that the vast majority of the women who have expressed interest in me on dating sites, are not women I would want to date. So that particular rejection percentage would be very high -- on the other hand, had they actually bothered to read my profile, they never would have asked in the first place.

So there's an informational-access issue involved in this thing, too.




Yeah, see, the overall attitude on this subject seems to VERY much go along with the "grass is always greener" attitude. Either way, we'll be rejected. The question is, WHO has to be the rejected one?

I just realized something that makes me wanna beat my head against a wall... the men I WANT never talk to me... which means I have to talk to them... which makes me wanna sick just thinking about it.

Grrr.

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:20 PM

I don't think the rejection statistics change either way. I also don't think I specifically said there was a 'double standard' - just that it was a double edged sword that cuts both ways (equally, IMO.)


No, you quoted another poster's comment re: the "double standard" and I used that as a jumping-off point.


I've experienced men being uncomfortable with me paying for coffee (as an example) but my thought at that point was that if I suggested the date, I should pay. I have also been in a position to do some limited travel so if I meet someone online that I'd like to meet in person, it shouldn't reflect badly on me that I am willing to do more than sit around waiting for the proverbial Mr. Right to knock on my door.


Right, and I have a difficult time understanding why a guy would have an issue with this.


There was never any intention to judge anyone in my post...just an observation that old stereotypes die hard - despite it being the 21st century (thanks, Quietman!)


And I'm just saying that it would be a good thing if we could kill them off....


no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:23 PM
OOOOOO


new answer:


We dont ask you out on dates cuz we are cheap

Blame it on the economy!

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:25 PM

Yeah, see, the overall attitude on this subject seems to VERY much go along with the "grass is always greener" attitude. Either way, we'll be rejected. The question is, WHO has to be the rejected one?


Reminiscent of the 7th grade school dance where the boys are on one side of the gym, the girls on the other, and they spend 3 hours looking at each other with no one ever saying a word.


I just realized something that makes me wanna beat my head against a wall... the men I WANT never talk to me... which means I have to talk to them... which makes me wanna sick just thinking about it.

Grrr.


Well, you're not the only one to experience this vexing phenomenon!

I never get e-mails from anyone I would consider a legitimate dating prospect here -- I mean literally NEVER -- and I get a lot of e-mail....! Not that I'm complaining about the quantity (it gives me something to do), but it would be nice to get one from someone a little bit compatible....!

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:25 PM

OOOOOO


new answer:


We dont ask you out on dates cuz we are cheap

Blame it on the economy!


Last time I took a woman on a date, it cost me around 250 bucks.

I am NOT cheap....lol

snarkytwain's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:27 PM


I don't remember if I ever started a thread like this or not, but I DO know I have mentioned it before.

I have NEVER been asked on a date since WELL before my marriage. I've been divorced almost three years now. Three years of guys hitting on me, but never a date request.

Why is this? Do men not ask ladies on dates anymore? Why not? What the hell happened?


I can't believe a lady as lovely as you isn't asked out on a regular basis. :O I know I would ask you out! You're so beauuuuuutiful and sweet! :) ;)


Thank you. flowerforyou I get hit on, but not asked on dates. There's a difference, and that difference is based on respect, IMHO. So maybe this is what I should have asked instead: What gives a man the decision to respect a woman or not?

We kid because we care, love. LOL


Yeah, yeah yeah. grumble Brats. laugh

OOOOOO


new answer:


We dont ask you out on dates cuz we are cheap

Blame it on the economy!


Billy, half the time I adore ya and half the time I wanna strangle ya. frustrated

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:27 PM


OOOOOO


new answer:


We dont ask you out on dates cuz we are cheap

Blame it on the economy!


Last time I took a woman on a date, it cost me around 250 bucks.

I am NOT cheap....lol


well

ladies

-------->>> JustaGuy2112 <<<----------


Thats the guy I would talk to him

Cuz guess what. My first date is not going to cost 250 dollars ;)

You'll be lucky if I spend money on the cheap seats rofl

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:27 PM
This is a post to anyone and no one specific.

Solution possiblity #1 in getting men to ask women out more =

Get rid of the internet and cable tv and you will see people go out and ask a women out to have better results in friendship leading to a relationship.

I know, I know sounds absurd..... or does it?

Well it seems impossible now anyway. Men and women will chat online most of the time and find ways to satisfy their needs without even stepping out of the house! You know where I am going with this aren't you!laugh

Times have changed. If it is for the better or for the worse. I will let you decide on that.

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:28 PM


OOOOOO


new answer:


We dont ask you out on dates cuz we are cheap

Blame it on the economy!



Billy, half the time I adore ya and half the time I wanna strangle ya. frustrated


Shoulda just stuck w/the first answer! She was okay with me insulting her!!! noway

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:30 PM



OOOOOO


new answer:


We dont ask you out on dates cuz we are cheap

Blame it on the economy!


Last time I took a woman on a date, it cost me around 250 bucks.

I am NOT cheap....lol


well

ladies

-------->>> JustaGuy2112 <<<----------


Thats the guy I would talk to him

Cuz guess what. My first date is not going to cost 250 dollars ;)

You'll be lucky if I spend money on the cheap seats rofl


Meh. Dates are pretty rare for me. I make 'em count....lol

Actually, the reason it cost me that much is because I took her to a concert. Between the tix, dinner before the concert, and the gas money involved in getting to where she lives and back home again, it added up pretty quickly.

But I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Doesn't necessarily mean that my next first date would cost me that much. Totally depends on the woman and what we decide to do.

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:32 PM


But I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Doesn't necessarily mean that my next first date would cost me that much. Totally depends on the woman and what we decide to do.


Question is........did ya get some?

snarkytwain's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:34 PM


Yeah, see, the overall attitude on this subject seems to VERY much go along with the "grass is always greener" attitude. Either way, we'll be rejected. The question is, WHO has to be the rejected one?


Reminiscent of the 7th grade school dance where the boys are on one side of the gym, the girls on the other, and they spend 3 hours looking at each other with no one ever saying a word.


I just realized something that makes me wanna beat my head against a wall... the men I WANT never talk to me... which means I have to talk to them... which makes me wanna sick just thinking about it.

Grrr.


Well, you're not the only one to experience this vexing phenomenon!

I never get e-mails from anyone I would consider a legitimate dating prospect here -- I mean literally NEVER -- and I get a lot of e-mail....! Not that I'm complaining about the quantity (it gives me something to do), but it would be nice to get one from someone a little bit compatible....!



All I can say to that, Lex, is WORD! Wish I could be more verbose on it, but ya already said it all there.

Last time I took a woman on a date, it cost me around 250 bucks.

I am NOT cheap....lol


I don't need that kind of date, but dinner and a movie would be nice once in a blue moon. laugh

This is a post to anyone and no one specific.

Solution possiblity #1 in getting men to ask women out more =

Get rid of the internet and cable tv and you will see people go out and ask a women out to have better results in friendship leading to a relationship.

I know, I know sounds absurd..... or does it?

Well it seems impossible now anyway. Men and women will chat online most of the time and find ways to satisfy their needs without even stepping out of the house! You know where I am going with this aren't you!

Times have changed. If it is for the better or for the worse. I will let you decide on that.


Well, I have two things to say about this:

1) If I wanted to just get laid, I could. That's the "needs" you refer to here, so it doesn't really answer the initial question. I get hit on, just not asked on dates. Guys "want" me, but they don't want ME, see what I mean?

2) I'm currently sitting at a coffee shop, so I AM in public at the moment. :wink:

Shoulda just stuck w/the first answer! She was okay with me insulting her!!!


YOUR name should be Snarky! laugh

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:38 PM



But I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Doesn't necessarily mean that my next first date would cost me that much. Totally depends on the woman and what we decide to do.


Question is........did ya get some?


Not that night.

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:39 PM

Shoulda just stuck w/the first answer! She was okay with me insulting her!!!


YOUR name should be Snarky! laugh


I would change my name to SnarkySuvol in a heartbeat

bc it is that cool...and I envy you for having such a cool name

and then I would post a picture with eyeshadow bigsmile

no photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:39 PM



Not that night.



Concert 125.00
Drive there 75.00
Food 50.00
No sex Priceless

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:43 PM
Last time I took a woman on a date, it cost me around 250 bucks.

I am NOT cheap....lol


I don't need that kind of date, but dinner and a movie would be nice once in a blue moon. laugh


And had that crossed my mind at the time, I would have asked her for that kind of date.

I just happened to check the website of my favorite rock club while I was talking to her on yahoo and saw a show advertised that I really wanted to see.


I just asked her if she wanted to go with me.

" That kind " of date?? Or one " that expensive "???

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 08/01/09 06:44 PM




Not that night.



Concert 125.00
Drive there 75.00
Food 50.00
No sex Priceless


LOL.

I had no issues with the " no sex " part at all. We both had a great time.

That's all that mattered to me.

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