How do you tell someone that you are not interested in them without being hurtful?

just be direct...anything else and it gets complicated. people see what they want to so, don't try to paint anything other that the truth.

Tell the truth..gently. If they flip out and say you are judgemental or whatever so be it. They WILL get over it.

Well, you could just say there's no chemistry. I had to tell that to someone the other day. He understood. Because he use to be with someone who was GREAT, but there was no chemistry.

I just tell 'em

There really is no way! All you can do is hope they take it like adults!



Tee Hee

I know personally I want to be told up front the moment you know your not interested. Ive been hurt more than once by women who didnt tell me right away but let it go on for months.

To tell the truth, there probably IS NO way to let someone down in a "painless" manner- whatever you say will not be taken in a relatively-positive manner.

So you be up-front... you be honest... and you don't resort to less-than-direct means of stating how you feel. Resorting to the use of a "Dear John" letter (or email or IM or text message) will only be seen as insincere and even downright callous.

That's so hard. But it HAS to be done. It really depends on who it is and why you're not interested. Tell them the truth with nice words.

As writer said, they WILL get over it.

The last girl I was getting involved with.
I actually got pretty close to her, But just too many differences.

Said...
"Things just aren't working out as I hoped, and I believe our differences are going to cause a lot of problems later on, I need to walk away and allow you to find the right person for you."

Hard YES!! but I say what I feel and am honest about it.

No reason to force what wasn't meant to be.

Now this is what the internet is all about.

You don't have to look them in the eyes, you can't hear the quiver in their voice as they ask "Is something wrong here Baby?"
You don't have to see their shaking hands as they try to explain what 'really happened'. You don't have to avert your own eyes.

Tell Em' straight out.

"Dude, you suck, get away from me, Don't ever, F**king ever contact me again, never ever,ever never again."

Because doing it like the above makes up for all the times you spared someone elses hurt feelings while they stomped on yours.
Everytime you said "It's not you dear, its me, I am just not able to handle a mature relationship with someone like you."
And the ever popular, "its issues from my past"

Nope, kick that internet fool to the curb, hard, with malace and forethought. Make the poor internet Bas***d pay for all the sins of every guy that ever looked at you sideways.


This is internet dating,

Well that sounded more mean spirited and bitter than it was meant to be. It was supposed to be sarcastic.
You can be as gentle as you like or as harsh.
In reality,I believe that an individual will be as kind as they are in real life.

How would you like to be told by someone here at Mingle that they are not interested in you?

Let that be your guide.

Again, my apologies.

I would most likely tell them that we don't have enough in common or that I am not interested in dating anyone right now.

Send them 49 emails saying "Not interested". Then send one last one that says "And I have a gun".

Tell him you want to get married right away & then watch him run!

Ummm What are you trying to tell me????

The last time I let a woman down easy she went and told her kids that they had lost her the only man she'd ever loved. Nice huh?

So much for letting someone down easy. Nah, direct and blunt is the only way for me.

What about the one and dones? What do we owe the one daters that we do not wish to see again? I say not a thing. Just let 'em fade away.

There is no way to do it without hurting him on some level. You just need to be honest, not brutally honest, and also not too easy because he will think there is still a chance. Just tell him he is not your type and you do not want to lead him on.

Classy thing for her to say Mitch.

That is just... Oh my GOD!

And people wonder why kids are do effed up these days.