Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: why is dating so complicated
DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 07:55 PM
not exactly. i see it more like despite if they are right or wrong it still adds question of another direction that could in some remote way be more efficient. whether or not you even care to hear the information you STILL have to stop, think, and start again. which is more complicated than to have never stopped.

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 08:15 PM
ok so yeah... i tried eHarmony.... they have a form you fill out and it matches you with people. I just recieved an email back in about 30 minutes explaining that there were 0 matches found and my account was being refunded..... im hopeless

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 08:29 PM
I'd say trying to find a true lover, is about putting your best foot forward. Not your moany one. Or your pride. It's best to just take it as it comes. Easier said than done, you may think, but you get used to some just jumping ship like a theif in the night. Remember, there is always places OFFLINE too. Don't let the internet fool you into thinking love is the only place it can be found.

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 08:40 PM
offline is not an option anymore. you cant go hang out somewhere without someone to hang out with. besides... how many single girls will go out to a bar or the movies WITHOUT taking at least 1 person with them. same with guys.

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 08:41 PM
I'm not nagging, OP. I'm just trying to lay it all out on the table. I normally find myself handing out tips to my younger sisters. I'm used to being asked for advice by all and sundry.

HawaiiMusikMan Joined Sat 11/08/08 Posts: 3548	Fri 05/25/12 08:46 PM
i want to know why dating is so complicated. i have tried a few times but for some reason it keeps blowing up in my face... Honestly, I have no idea. All I know is I'm really not that good at it.

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 08:47 PM
offline is not an option anymore. you cant go hang out somewhere without someone to hang out with. besides... how many single girls will go out to a bar or the movies WITHOUT taking at least 1 person with them. same with guys. I see you're struggling with this. Even if you're shy, you can still go to bars alone. I never went alone much. When I did, I still said a friendly "Hi". That's normally a good start. Just introduce yourself and tell em your name. Even if it takes getting a bit drunk to have more confidence. . The bottom line being if you instantly feel attracted to someone, then go for it. Atleast you'll have tried. Which is much better than never knowing.

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 08:52 PM
i dont drink at bars because you have no choice but to drive home after and i will NOT drink and drive to any extent. and as far as just saying hi. i have been slapped 2 times and kicked in the nutz once "just saying hi". so "it cant hurt to say hi" is false

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Fri 05/25/12 08:59 PM
i dont drink at bars because you have no choice but to drive home after and i will NOT drink and drive to any extent. and as far as just saying hi. i have been slapped 2 times and kicked in the nutz once "just saying hi". so "it cant hurt to say hi" is false Your approach must have been off. I've never heard of, nor have I ever offended anyone by simply saying hi.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 05/25/12 09:04 PM
i want to know why dating is so complicated. i have tried a few times but for some reason it keeps blowing up in my face. no im not seeking pitty. i dont feel sorry for nothin. just bored alot lol. im more tryin to get some advice peiced together so that maybe i have a better chance... i missed all of my good experience building relationships growing up and now im just confused lol games and rules make it complicated 'trying' to attract those we are attracted to makes it complicated we tend to read what we think that person wants and mold ourself into it but its hard to maintain that for the long run if we let attraction happen naturally(not forced or created by 'trying' to be, or trying to attract) and mutually on some level beyond physical and if we could be just as content with developing friendships as we are with developing romances, dating would probably be pretty simple

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 09:12 PM
The positivity is just JUMPIN in here tonight. . Just messin!!! :)

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 09:14 PM
Your approach must have been off. I've never heard of, nor have I ever offended anyone by simply saying hi. Me neither. Why would anyone be offended if you were only being friendly?

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 09:22 PM
that is where my understanding is blown out of the water. i have never been mean to a girl and i have always been polite in my approach. if one of you were to watch you would see nothing wrong with the situation until she looks at me and her first impression is "what the hell do you want?" and she gives me the snobby ***** look like im bothering her. but its not just girls that do that to me. people ive known for years and people i just meet all look at me like im interrupting their life by being present. i dont know how to combat that kind of hatred

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 09:28 PM
that is where my understanding is blown out of the water. i have never been mean to a girl and i have always been polite in my approach. if one of you were to watch you would see nothing wrong with the situation until she looks at me and her first impression is "what the hell do you want?" and she gives me the snobby ***** look like im bothering her. but its not just girls that do that to me. people ive known for years and people i just meet all look at me like im interrupting their life by being present. i dont know how to combat that kind of hatred 'Combat' being the operative word. Are you doing what you really like in your life? Career AND lifestyle?

Godiva Joined Tue 12/09/08 Posts: 5330	Fri 05/25/12 09:41 PM
Now I understand why you chose your screen name. You have a negative answer or hypothesis for every single comment, piece of advice or attempt at help given. Here is an idea. No --> Yes I can't --> I can I don't --> I do I won't --> I will What If? --> No worries! Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that jazz. Seriously, if you put aside all the negative feelings and thoughts it would help enormously. As it stands now, a lot of people are offering advice and you are just throwing back excuses. I am sure you a great person and all, but all the talk in the world is not going to prove that to anyone.

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 09:41 PM
nope. i install car stereos when they come around and thats a little help but i have been looking for a job every day for 5 years now and i havent had a single interview yet. i have already been to classes on how to get a job and they dont work. i do everything right and i still cannot get a job

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 09:45 PM
nope. i install car stereos when they come around and thats a little help but i have been looking for a job every day for 5 years now and i havent had a single interview yet. i have already been to classes on how to get a job and they dont work. i do everything right and i still cannot get a job Rather than see that as a failure, you could just see it as life experience. Maybe add more to your CV. You sound as if you don't like your life very much.

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 09:47 PM
im not happy with my life no but that comes from 25 years of negative input. ive been dealing with the exact same problem since i can remember. something about "me" is what people dont like. not my hair. not my name. not how i dress or talk or act. just "me". all of it.

DeadEnd Joined Mon 04/27/09 Posts: 106	Fri 05/25/12 09:52 PM
Now I understand why you chose your screen name. You have a negative answer or hypothesis for every single comment, piece of advice or attempt at help given. Here is an idea. No --> Yes I can't --> I can I don't --> I do I won't --> I will What If? --> No worries! Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that jazz. Seriously, if you put aside all the negative feelings and thoughts it would help enormously. As it stands now, a lot of people are offering advice and you are just throwing back excuses. I am sure you a great person and all, but all the talk in the world is not going to prove that to anyone. i know im negative. thats what im trying to fix. but my negativity all has PHYSICAL evidence to back it up. if i said i cant do something its because i have already tried to do it and either failed or found that it cant work to begin with.

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 09:55 PM
im not happy with my life no but that comes from 25 years of negative input. ive been dealing with the exact same problem since i can remember. something about "me" is what people dont like. not my hair. not my name. not how i dress or talk or act. just "me". all of it. I can't begin to think why. Anyway, having a more positive outlook about life is normally a good start. I guess what you learn when you're a child, is taken into the here and now. Though, you're getting therapy. So that's a start if anything.