You know one thing I am noticing here (and you'll probably need counseling for this) is that you are looking OUTSIDE for validation of yourself. You won't be self-confident or feel good about yourself until someone ELSE says it's ok to. Well, you know what, it ain't ever gonna happen. If you are looking for someone else's opinion to tell you how to think of yourself, then that's a huge problem. Because not everyone is going to like you, just like you are not going to like everyone. They may have a reason, they may not.

But until you stop worrying about what others think and start being concerned with what YOU think, your life will only continue it's downward spiral. You are causing it, and only you can change it. It takes a lot of work and commitment and you can only do it if you want it badly enough.

i dont want people to trample overthemselves to be friends, but when someone else talks to me it feels like they want to talk to me. when i instigate things i feel like im bothering people

you are very right suzan and i am already in counseling for that and other things. but as much as i want it im still not sure how to change. its all i have known for almost 25 years

you must first like yourself before others can like you

Hard journey but a great adventure

lol yeah... but it can be a nightmare sometimes... lack of sleep, loss of appetite. just fear of defeat in general.

but i dont want that anymore. thats why im still searching im just not sure what for anymore lol

You need a new counselor, IMO.

And you need to do the work. You can't just go see a counselor and expect things to change. You have to do the WORK, and it's hard.

Unless and until you are willing to do that and actively persue that, you will not be able to date. Not successfully. You have to like and love yourself before anyone else will.

Quit whining and bringing up negatives. Look at the positives and focus on that. Set some realistic goals and work towards them. Don't quit, don't whine about it, just do it.

Sorry to be blunt, but dude, you need hit over the head to wake up and start participating in life.

You think our lives have all been peaches and cream? Nope... Life is hard for everyone. It is how you look at it and what you do and say that defines if your life sucks or simply that sucky things have happened.

Get a grip, man! (the 'lols' aren't helping)

i did just get a new counselor lol the place i was going before would send me to a new person every time. this new one is wonderful but i have only been a few times.

its ok that you are blunt about it lol im tryin to find that kind of answers anyways.. all these subtle hints at things just fly past me and i never see them.

Dating ain't complicated...

Just watch seven brides for seven brothers...

Best method I've seen (tv method - please do not attempt in real life).

Dance your way in to size em up.

Snatch em up and drag em home.

Wooops... Guest not. Gun toting dads and all that.

good answer.

Dating is complicated because people keep over-complicating it. When you REALLY think about it, dating isn't all that difficult at all.

ok well an update to the situation. i know its been a while but i went through and tried everyones suggestions. not just a toss at it but i spent lots of time on each idea and unfortunately i ended up even worse off....

yes i understand fully that i am being negative. but this is the only way it can be explained.

after all of the attempts to change my attitude i ended up with only 1 friend left. i had to move back into my parents cause i was starving to death and homeless.
and the last person that i became close with broke my heart so severely that i dont even care about sex anymore. i need friends. but the consistently negative attitude is only made worse by the repetitive failure. (ex. under no circumstances can you add a negative to another negative and get a positive.)

so basically if i cannot get a positive response i cannot generate a positive answer.

Dating is only as complicated as you make it.

Same with Life.


*inserts facebook Like button here*

i disagree. life is as complicated as other people make it. no matter how simple i want it to be there will ALWAYS be someone to say that it needs to be done different.

People will say lots of things, doesn't mean they know what they're talking about or anything though.

true but whether they know what they are talking about or not you still have to stop, double check to see, make sure what you did is correct just in case. all in all still more complicated. even if nothing was changed

Why? How would they know what's best for you in your life? Only you know that.

Did you learn anything about yourself? Or were you too intent on being guided by what "they" had to say?

Why is dating difficult??????

Cause it involves a....woman!!!!

Nuff said.........

(not that I have anything against them)

That's what I was trying to get at. :)