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Topic: When do you know you are healed?
GRIFFIN_LIZZARD Joined Mon 02/16/09 Posts: 7186	Thu 07/09/09 10:20 AM
Several times in my life I have been in love, and all those times they ended with hurt. I was just curious to find out how people know when they are healed enough to try again, Every one of my hurts still live inside and I end up carrying them all, in some degree, into the next hurt to come along and it all wakes up again. Just wondering.

yellowrose10 Joined Tue 12/11/07 Posts: 52804	Thu 07/09/09 10:21 AM
until you let them go...you won't be healed. it's carrying an infection around. but when you are ready, you will know and you won't need to ask because there will be no doubt

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Thu 07/09/09 10:22 AM
When you decide you're truly done dealing with the pain and you find happiness in the rest of your life other than your love life... or lack there of.

AGoodGuy1026 Joined Wed 04/22/09 Posts: 1333	Thu 07/09/09 10:23 AM
Aren't we all man? It sucks, it hurts... I have no answers or insight for you... other than to say.... if you carry all of your baggage around with you for the rest of your life, you will have no arm space left to hug a new person that comes along... It's ok to drop your old baggage and walk away... Luck to you man...

GRIFFIN_LIZZARD Joined Mon 02/16/09 Posts: 7186	Thu 07/09/09 10:24 AM
When you decide you're truly done dealing with the pain and you find happiness in the rest of your life other than your love life... or lack there of. Funny, seems it's hard to find happiness in a life without love..

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Thu 07/09/09 10:25 AM
This is EASY!!! When you are apathetic about the ex, and if something happened to them you'd respond appropriately. For example, my ex is getting divorced for the second time, and I said, "wow, that's really sad for his kids and my son". THEN, as a second response, I said to myself... "And he deserves it". But it wasn't my first thought. When you would never place your fears or past experiences onto a new person. When you look at a prior relationship positively, in that you focus on what you learned and what you'd do differently in new relationships. Accepting ownership for what you did wrong, and not being a victim or a blamer.

Riding_Dubz Joined Wed 05/21/08 Posts: 22110	Thu 07/09/09 10:25 AM


Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Thu 07/09/09 10:25 AM
When you decide you're truly done dealing with the pain and you find happiness in the rest of your life other than your love life... or lack there of. Funny, seems it's hard to find happiness in a life without love.. Sure you can. You just don't rely on others to make your happy. It's a hard lesson to learn... I know. Dealing with it myself.

LAMom Joined Tue 12/12/06 Posts: 26866	Thu 07/09/09 10:26 AM
When you decide you're truly done dealing with the pain and you find happiness in the rest of your life other than your love life... or lack there of. Funny, seems it's hard to find happiness in a life without love.. When you are fully happy within your spirit,, the love of life, living and just being will come full circle,, and then Love will find its way to your Soul Blessed be

TheCaptain Joined Wed 09/06/06 Posts: 44412	Thu 07/09/09 10:27 AM
This is EASY!!! When you are apathetic about the ex, and if something happened to them you'd respond appropriately. For example, my ex is getting divorced for the second time, and I said, "wow, that's really sad for his kids and my son". THEN, as a second response, I said to myself... "And he deserves it". But it wasn't my first thought. When you would never place your fears or past experiences onto a new person. When you look at a prior relationship positively, in that you focus on what you learned and what you'd do differently in new relationships. Accepting ownership for what you did wrong, and not being a victim or a blamer. What an awesome post.

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Thu 07/09/09 10:28 AM
As soon as you embrace the power of Mutual Match!

mscherbear Joined Fri 03/07/08 Posts: 15111	Thu 07/09/09 10:30 AM
Aren't we all man? It sucks, it hurts... I have no answers or insight for you... other than to say.... if you carry all of your baggage around with you for the rest of your life, you will have no arm space left to hug a new person that comes along... It's ok to drop your old baggage and walk away... Luck to you man... Well said

MirrorMirror Joined Fri 10/26/07 Posts: 89680	Thu 07/09/09 10:32 AM
Several times in my life I have been in love, and all those times they ended with hurt. I was just curious to find out how people know when they are healed enough to try again, Every one of my hurts still live inside and I end up carrying them all, in some degree, into the next hurt to come along and it all wakes up again. Just wondering. You are healed from the last hurt when you begin to be hurt by the new hurt

GRIFFIN_LIZZARD Joined Mon 02/16/09 Posts: 7186	Thu 07/09/09 10:34 AM
Several times in my life I have been in love, and all those times they ended with hurt. I was just curious to find out how people know when they are healed enough to try again, Every one of my hurts still live inside and I end up carrying them all, in some degree, into the next hurt to come along and it all wakes up again. Just wondering. You are healed from the last hurt when you begin to be hurt by the new hurt Basically correct... but with no hurt acting upon my judgement when I find the soon to be hurt.

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Thu 07/09/09 10:36 AM
This is EASY!!! When you are apathetic about the ex, and if something happened to them you'd respond appropriately. For example, my ex is getting divorced for the second time, and I said, "wow, that's really sad for his kids and my son". THEN, as a second response, I said to myself... "And he deserves it". But it wasn't my first thought. When you would never place your fears or past experiences onto a new person. When you look at a prior relationship positively, in that you focus on what you learned and what you'd do differently in new relationships. Accepting ownership for what you did wrong, and not being a victim or a blamer. What an awesome post. Thank you!!!

Sweetrain Joined Tue 04/21/09 Posts: 10	Thu 07/09/09 10:38 AM
Dwell on those feelings of the love you had. The pain will eventually go away; but, that love you are feeling is who you are. The love we feel for others is who we are. Never try to sqwelch that feeling. We Are The Love and that is what attracts love to us.

GRIFFIN_LIZZARD Joined Mon 02/16/09 Posts: 7186	Thu 07/09/09 10:39 AM
This is EASY!!! When you are apathetic about the ex, and if something happened to them you'd respond appropriately. For example, my ex is getting divorced for the second time, and I said, "wow, that's really sad for his kids and my son". THEN, as a second response, I said to myself... "And he deserves it". But it wasn't my first thought. When you would never place your fears or past experiences onto a new person. When you look at a prior relationship positively, in that you focus on what you learned and what you'd do differently in new relationships. Accepting ownership for what you did wrong, and not being a victim or a blamer. What an awesome post. Thank you!!! This was a great post, but the reason I even asked is that my latest hurt came because she does not believe I'm over the previous hurt, thus she left and said I need to heal. I thought I was and now I'm not again.

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Thu 07/09/09 10:40 AM
Well.... is she right?

franshade Joined Tue 07/24/07 Posts: 24704	Thu 07/09/09 10:41 AM
This was a great post, but the reason I even asked is that my latest hurt came because she does not believe I'm over the previous hurt, thus she left and said I need to heal. I thought I was and now I'm not again. If you are so easily swayed, then maybe you are not over your previous relationship.

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Thu 07/09/09 10:42 AM
Well.... is she right? That would be my question. Maybe you're still carrying to much 'baggage' with you.