I agree. It's wonderful that you fell in love with his personality first, but what would have happened if, when you first met, you were repulsed by his appearance? Do you think it would have still worked out so well?

if i wanted mystery i'd read a book. j/k
do what you wish. i'm not here to try to change anybody. i know that without a pic people only reach a certain level with me. but they probably get the most honest version of me there is because i don't feel the need to try to impress.


. . .

Attraction does matter for a lot of people, physical, mental and emotion is my criteria... I don't want to bagem to do them so yes, it may be shallow but I have to have something to go on in the first place... A great personality isn't going to make a difference if I have absolutely NO physical attraction to them..

If someone can be with someone based on never seeing them well Bless them... Every time I hear "I don't have a pic right now but don't worry you won't be disappointed." You can bet your sweet patooty, I was VERY disappointed... And believe me I'm not attracted to just pretty boys so it had nothing to do with them not looking like Hugh Jackman, Bradd Pitt, etc...

For the most part it is our taught prejudices that make us repulsed by others anyway. If we can realize this and put what we have been taught aside we can experience greater loves than if we hold to those shallow teachings and try to please others by our choices.

reading is fundamental

Which level can I reach having no pic up???

i need to put up more photos of me now that i'm single again...and get my groove back, maybe some hot tight body babes will just go for my awesomeness instead of my fine looking looks i was born with...yeah

My two cents: We're screwed either way.

"Babes/Hunks" think: I want someone to like me for who I am on the INSIDE, not how I look.

"Non-Babes/Hunks" think: Nobody will give me the chance, get to know what a great person on I am on the inside, because of how I look.

Both boil down to insecurity. If you like what you see when YOU look in the mirror, you are a beautiful person.

Do we judge people by their looks? Abso-friggen-lutely! It's instinct, natural, we are animals after all. We need to determine if what we see is threatening so we can decide on which response to activate, fight or flight. If you saw a scary dude holding an axe with blood drippin' off it, you'd run in the other direction. While that's the extreme example, we do use vision as a primary cue on which to make judgements. So to say looks don't matter is IMHO naive.

Should we judge a book by it's cover. Abso-friggen-lutely NOT! Some of the best books I've read were old beat up copies. I completely agree that it's how you feel when you're with someone that matters.

Everybody has different preferences, I don't happen to be physically attracted to heavier men. I've been both stick thin and heavy and that hasn't changed. And since physical attraction is part of any good relationship, IMHO again, I guess I'm shallow.

Bowing out. Don't shoot the messenger please.

Very, very well put!

i define shallow as not communicating with someone because of what they look like. not wanting to be physical with someone because of how they look is just preference.


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then you should love my profile, i took all my real pics down, mwuhwhahahahaha

I like 'em tall

I like 'em short

I like 'em all!

i love to annoy

Thanks IndnPrncs

"i define shallow as not communicating with someone because of what they look like. not wanting to be physical with someone because of how they look is just preference."

Does this mean I'm not shallow gal? I talk to everyone! I'd probably try to talk to the axe dude I mentioned instead of running.

I know what I like and a guy who does not fall into that area is going to have to make a much bigger effort to connect.

the majority of the women i talk to are ones i'm not physically attracted to. i've even had overweight lesbians tell me i'm not shallow when i explained it to them. (seemed quite an accomplishment at the time anyway)
my best friend is a female that i'm not physically attracted to. just because i wouldn't sleep with her doesn't mean that i won't converse or hang out with her.


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very well said. being shallow means someone can't look beyond the appearance (whether it's in friendship or relationship) but people have preferences in attraction and there is nothing wrong with that and doesn't make someone shallow. people can have preference in size, hair, eyes, smile, etc. but I would question people that only go by physical appearance and doesn't loo further....as far as just talking to them, friendship, dating

That being said, one HOPES that someone can look at substance, and not just a person who exudes stunning sexuality from every pore of their body.

i'm shallow, i'm shallow

There was a study done not too long ago that found Ladies were actually more moved by the smell of the man than the looks alone. I think it was done in England, but not positive on that.

if size made no difference then some ants would be larger than elephants and cherries might be bigger than trees, you could fix Caterpiller earthmoving equipment with a bobby pins, and my cat would eat great danes and saint bernards.