How dare you, Madame Caroldeedee! A knave-ish gigolo, you say!? Well, my heart may be fickle when it comes to said riches, but I certainly have no stomach for romantic deceit as far as Muffy is concerned. My intentions are purely honourable, I assure you... Go ahead and send Betts in to do your dirty laundry for you... BUT she had better bring along an industrial sized jug of bleach and one of your finest Tide for good measure... There's plenty of treachery about these days and troublesome stains may come and go... BUT Muffy will always be at (or near) my side... The Side of Clive aka Clever Cl... errrr never mind. Look it up in your aka directory! I may be outnumbered here, but my mission of sweet mercy and financial salvation shall never be abandoned... So stand and deliver or...

AND to you, Lady Betts, distinguished member of the PPDSNA (Puppy Pole Dancing Society of North America), your innocent ways may fool many, but I remember well how you wiped out one of my Brazilian bank accounts with but a single slow slide down that stripper pole in Reykjavik... Ssting me once, shame on you... Sting me twice...

I cant follow that one ...Sorry

AHHH Yes, My Sweet Clever Clive, I shall meet you at Slick Twiggies. The promise of your feather is too much to be ignored. I shall be there at the stoke of midnight while the moon is shinning blue. We will play footsie under the candlelit table and once and for all time we shall join together in thequest of Peron's Treasure. Together, no man or woman no matter how many akas they have will not thrawt our desires.


(But beware clecer Clive, I have not survived 7 marriages and countless lovers because I a wittless/pole dancing/big boobed/lusty/spy/witch/Umpire favorite..My true love Daniel the Lion Hearted of Mennerickshire will be waiting in the shadows!)

Big kitties lurking about in the shadows, worry me not... FOR I travel with a faithful pack of ferocious lion hunting hounds at my feet. I fear nothing but the sound of footsteps from my old arch-enemy Granddaddy Longlegs, gunslinger extraordinaire by day and repo man at night... AND he still has another five years to go before he will be released from federal prison. Sooo of I go to pamper my hounds so they may be well-rested and alert while you and I dine by candlelight under the moonlit sky... There your sparkling eyes will dazzle me, your warm gentle smile shall bewitch me, and the touch of your soft smooth feet against mine will give me much pleasure and...

You shall be in need of a long cold shower or a lesson into the fine art of puppypole dancing, to which

a devilish costume will be needed. Perhaps a visit to Mme Cleseau's costume shoppe will help.

We shall throw all caution to the wind as we wine and dine, feet entwined, toes curling ,seductivelylooking into each others eyes.Fingers caressing casually drapped bodies in the soft candlelit room of Slick Twiggys Bar and Towing Service. Matter it not that Daddy Longlegs is Betts husband, doing time for a foul deed she had done. She only wants Perons Treasure to pay off her bookie for debts
incurred teaching all those puppies to pole dance.She and Caroldeedee are twin sisters who have different parents, but twins neither the less, twins in their desire to open a Bar and Lounge at Cashlarues Castle under Old Sages cave on Mt Nononon. Keep your hounds well fed and content for Daniel has ran off with Loose Lips Lisa to seek their own fortune, selling vaccume cleaners to the elderly Leprechauns in Stonehedgervillege. So wait for me as I go see
Flarobs costume designer.

I need a drink!!!

Make mine a double Please!!!

I will glady make you a double Muffy Buff, But I would have Clive take the first sip if you know what I mean

Betts are you trying to tell me something???

yes I am...that evil Sage and the one who pronounces his love for you had laced the borboun with poison ,so

mmmmmmmm...I see, Thank you, I will drink nothing during our tryst..
Nor eat any food.

Plus that evil Caroldeedee installed daggers in his toes, so beware of playing footsties

Ohhhh a special drink for Clive, you say!? How typical of your pole dancing puppy kind, my fuzzy little Lady Betts... That's why I always carry a pair of rubber lips and the new and improved solar powered portable stomach pump (supplied by my very own personal sponsor, K-Tel Enterprises, Inc) to ward off the effects of your poisonous vial of dippity-doo poison.

That witch!!! That's the only place she did that, wasn't it??

Don't belive him Muffy Buff , he is just trying to blame me for his evil ways .Besides you look waaaaaaaay to cute in your pretty hat, to harm you!It is him and the jealous Caroldeedee, not I!

Trust not the beveled words of that happy pup of hip grinding fame... Forget our meeting at Slick Twiggies. Go the the north tower in the town of Babel, and I'll meet you there when the mosque crier sings at the stroke of nine... AND bring the key to the box of treasure... AND remember to hide it well... Don't worry, I had Dr. Redbrow remove the knives... AND if you would, please wear that special harem number that you'll find for sale at the costume store... Ask for Slit Slip Sally... She knows the one I'm talking about

Oh!! Thank you for noticing my hat! Rob's designer made it for me.
We will have to do something about that nefferious Caroldeedee! I know, I can think of something that will cause her much pain!

Tie her up and rub peanut butter under her arms and then throw her to the mounted dragoons of Marina del Rey...