And what praytell do these johnny loser come latelys do to destroy others vacations? Well let me reach into my pocket and unfold my list. Hmmmmmmmmmm.

sleeping is overated

And I tell all of you my list out of knowledge from past vacation nightmare experiences with LOSERS. Right now the group of us that are going have shared adventures. We have to be able to trust each other with our lives in some instances. We are all getting hammered with requests to join us. And the first thing we ask is "Can we trust this person on this adventure"? If you can't trust them- you can't bring them. Rule #1!

Kinda embarassing when you're hanging 3000 feet on a rope on a mountain and you ask the new guy to slide a carabiner, or a clip, or a stake down your rope and he says "Hold your horses. I will get to it when I feel like it. I'm busy drinking a beer". Furious, I climbed to the top, wrapped my elasticord around his ankle and pushed him off the cliff. He bungeed upside down 800 feet screaming like a baby. He's upside down screaming for help and I leaned over and replied "Hold your horses. I will get to it when I feel like it. I'm busy drinking YOUR beer". Dependability and trust with your life is a must. We have some very dangerous adventure planned.

remind me to only meet you at the bike rally !!!!!!!!!

So #1- trust. #2- dependability. #3- responsibility. You get stupid? We are not bailing you out of jail. Unless its no fault or acts of god. You are accountable for your actions. Get drunk, start doing burnouts in front of the cops on a public street like DAVE did one year- you're on your own. He was arrested. Bike impounded. 24 hour hold in the drunk tank. Got puked on. He posted bond with the onsite bailbondsmen. Then he had plenty of time to think about his behavior as he- no crap- walked 34 miles to the impound lot to bail out his bike and tow fees. It was a 3000 dollar experience he will never forget. DWI, exhibition driving, wreckless/careless, possession, and illegal aftermarket exhaust. He stopped at camp and said two words....."Sturgis over". Rode home penniless with gas on his credit cards and a later mandatory court appearance 752 miles back there. Leave the stupidity to the pros. And don't involve us in your stupidity. We are on a timeline for adventure. Don't hold us up.

Yup. Responsibility. We stay at a luxury resort 48 miles from sturgis at 4600 feet. Its beautiful- ask gypsy. Its quiet, serene, gated, guarded, and has noise ordinances. We sleep well because its quiet. We don't have to listen to straight pipes all night long while we are sleeping. Well the first year JOSH got drunk one night and decided to wake everyone up with his 124 S&S chopper with straight pipes. He rode around the resort cracking those pipes until he had everyone pissed off and chasing him around in their underwear. We sat in lawnchairs laughing our butts off. It really was funny. Until the morning when police, sheriffs department, and national park rangers showed up with guns. They evicted him from the resort for the rest of his life. He's tried to get back in for 12 years. Nope. Gotta mugshot and record on file. Banned. Responsibility. Use it. I don't like when someone gets into senseless trouble and drags us all into it. We have better things to do.

Boobas. All women have boobas. All men like boobas. Boobas rock. And at sturgis you are bound to see boobas. But keep this in mind- your ole lady flashes her boobas downtown and gets caught- its a 40 dollar post bond ticket and undercover cops everywhere. After our girlfreinds and wives got arrested a few times and everyone pitching in to post that $40 bucks bond. We realized we are smarter than that. So we decided to run blocker for the girls to save money. We watch out for the cops while they flash and if we see a big biker come running for em- its an undercover cop. And we yell "RUN"! And they run into the crowd while we either trip or get in the cops way. Saves us a lot of money. Undercover cops hate boobas.

must be gay !!!lol

#4- Self reliance and dependable bike. If you do not have the money to go, the proper equipment and tools, or a dependable motorcycle- DON'T GO!!!! Because the first time you ask to borrow money we will laugh at you. And the first time your bike breaks over something you should have fixed long ago and you're sitting in a dealership that's backlogged 7 days in repairs because there is 300,000 motorcycles in town- we will leave you there. My vacation does not include sitting in a dealership for a week while YOUR bike gets a new clutch that should have been fixed a year ago. And this is from experience boys and girls. Common sense and preparedness go hand in hand. Stuff happens. And we will be there for you. Don't burdon the rest of us with your lack of preparedness. No time for stupid.

#5- attitude and ignorance. We get one vacation that we slaved our butts off a whole year to enjoy. Leave your bad attitude and worthless drama and barbage and baggage at home please or your blessed experience will become your worst freaking nightmare. Things happen. And bad things can happen quickly. Again its simple physics. For every action there's a reaction.one rally there was everyone having a great time. One big bikers old lady was not. Started a temper tantrum that any 2 year old would be proud of. She was miserable and was hell bent on making EVERYONE miserable. She started screaming at strangers and swearing at everyone. Just obnoxious. Out of nowhere came 10 big bikers at full stride, scooped her up, ran to the edge of this huge pond, and threw her in and kept on running. SPLASH! She was hot. They cooled her off. The crowd cheered. Check your attitude because....mob rules.

Noone wants to hang out with a rallywrecker. F ING NOONE! No negative nellies or downer daves. One year my cousin brought his girlfreind who woke up on the wrong side of the tent one morning. Screaming like a banshee and swearing at everyone all because he asked her what time it was. It was 5 am. Throwing stuff and screeching- it reaffirmed my belief that being single is a good thing. PMS times 10. After waking everyone and then her herself going back to bed in her tent- we all got up quiet as churchmouses, got dressed, and walked over and loaded 12 people in the ford excursion survival vehicle, pushed it down the hill so not to wake her, and left her alone for the day. We had a blast! Went to balloon drop. Went to keystone for breakfast, down to custer. Back to rockerville for lunch. Off to some bike shows. Boy did she get the message. All alone all day. It was a brutal wake up call. Again- leave the attitude at home. Be considerate of others dedications. She was nice as can be when we got back. Again- be good....or mob rules.

So all that being said- there's many people that want to go with us and can't. Because they are buttheads. Irresponsible, disrespectful, unaccountable, stupid dumb, non thinking buttheads. And we have no tolerance for it anymore. It all boils down to trust. And believe me- we have fun. We get away with a whole lot more crazyness than you would suspect. We don't get caught. And when we do get caught- we usually all agree it was worth the tireless efforts of misbehaving. Teamwork in well planned poor decisions is much more fun than one persons spontaneous stupid decision. And costs less! We know from experience.

And if you think a motorcycle rally is going there, drinking until you pass out and puke, sitting in a tent for 5 days straight smoking pot and never coming out of the tent or ever seeing anything- my crews not for you. Sorry shane. You never lifted a finger to help anyone in 4 days. Just smoked weed in your tent. We all agreed you're an idiot loser. Can't go with us because.....mob rules.

uuummmmmm.......hi