Pull the forks outta me, I`m done.

(((galendgirl)))

(((rara)))

Hello, Rara, this is John.



Ed is sooooo OLD.

He's so old, that when he sweats, dust comes out.

Will Ed end up wearing disposable diapers for old folks when he gets older? It Depends on if he can stop needing them now. I'm not saying he has a bladder problem.. He just forgets to get up to go.

Ed's idea of a long roadtrip is any turnpike, or a highway that doesn't have a bathroom exit every ten minutes.

Ed is looking forward to living in an assisted-living unit. He already has a plaque made for hanging on the outer door. It reads " I've been old longer than you, go away, unless you have my meds, or you love Led Zep."

Ed like meeting new and exciting people. The problem is that it's the same people EVERYDAY, but hey, if it works for him.

Hello, Rara, this is John.

Ed has a few "Rules to live by" that he'd like us all to know.

Pee early, and pee often.

Anything worth eating is worth eating through a straw.

Get off my lawn, ya little bastards.

Don't waste an erection, as they're hard to come by now.

If you can whistle at a pretty woman, and your teeth don't fall out, it's all good.

Just because it's new doesn't mean it's better... Cases in point, the ME generation, Coke II, and tribute bands.

If you're even just a little bit sick, go see a doctor. If there's something wrong, he'll catch it. If not, at least you're dressed and out of the house.

I can feel the love


John

Viva Viagra


Not only do I feel the Love, I know I`m loved

No thats just your arthritis

I was wondering why my joint was getting stiff

Ed is an avid reader. He reads an entire book every week. The sad thing is, since he has Old Timers syndrome, it's the same book.

He reads the paper every day as well. He's upset now that he found out that JFK was shot.

He's also an avid hunter. He goes for walks, and when he sees something in the bushes, he shoots it. Last month, it was Suzy Johnson's new boyfriend. Charges have been .. How do we say.. dropped.

His local police have gotten tired of him calling them at 3 am, asking them to come do a well-being check on HIM. Nothing's ever wrong, he just likes company over when he gets up to pee. Sadly, he isn't awake for that himself.

The concerned Police Officer


Thanks for checking on me to make sure that I don`t water the carpet.

Rara has the face of a saint. Unfortunately it is a Saint Bernard.

His arse is so fat that he gets sh1t stains on his collar.

Gonna shout those chitt stains out.

Do you think that these jeans really do make my arse look big?



The Tidybowl man said that you have a big azz and your hair was a mess. He also wants to know what you have been eating to get diaper rash azz.

Y`all must be at St. Mattress Cathederal, listening to the 101 Bed Springs Choir.


Y`all so quiet, what happened,did they take up a second collection?

Nobody wants to roast me.

Hi Ed -and by the way

That was JOHN ^^^^

You know -Sully??

the hearing aid has to be turned on before it works hon!!

All right Holly, where did you hide the batteries?

I needed them--you know that!

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You guys making fun of how old Rara is, did you know, in fact, that Rara when to an antiques auction and people actually bid on him? He can remember when the De@d Sea was just feeling ill? That he drinks formaldehyde just to stay perserved? But seriously, isn't Rara cute, I've seen younger faces on cash, his thighs look like a white Toyota after a hail storm.