Topic: Is searching for a soulmate asking too much?
Riding_Dubz's photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:05 AM
wrestle ya for the eggo flowerforyou

Seakolony's photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:10 AM

wrestle ya for the eggo flowerforyou

You dont stand a chance!! laugh :wink:

no photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:14 AM

Ok I see what you are saying, In that case I believe your best friend(male or female) should remain just that, but in a case where you meet "the one" the former will have to understand that your new relationship will likely develop bonds possibly greater then the one's shared by you and him or her.


I feel it's very important to keep up friendships even when you're in a relationship. Sure, your new relationship will be important, but aren't your current friendships important as well?

Jimmyjabes's photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:15 AM
Most defiantly, but real friends will understand the new relationship and should have a healthy respect for it.

earthytaurus76's photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:16 AM
In a long life, I know we have more than one soulmate. I have had more than one.

Theres something honest, and decent, and noble about someone hoping for that spiritual connection. When its present, its amazing, certainly not something we can share with everyone, but definitely worth waiting for.

no photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:20 AM


Ok I see what you are saying, In that case I believe your best friend(male or female) should remain just that, but in a case where you meet "the one" the former will have to understand that your new relationship will likely develop bonds possibly greater then the one's shared by you and him or her.


I feel it's very important to keep up friendships even when you're in a relationship. Sure, your new relationship will be important, but aren't your current friendships important as well?


My bonds with my girlfriends are stronger than my bond with my ex-husband and current boyfriend, just in different ways. I didn't give up anything. Matter of fact, my friends have been there my whole life, through everything. My ex, also one of my best friends, wasn't.

I think it's highly unfair and unrealistic for your partner to be your be all and end all. I can't be that for anyone and I don't expect that of my boyfriend. He's one of my best friends, my lover, my partner in life, but it's way too much responsibility to expect him to be my "everything." The only person who can do that is me, and on some days it's overwhelming to me too. Each person in my life has a role, just as I have a role in someone else's. It's sort of like an ensemble cast, each is equally important in their own way, and without them, the play would falter but there is no one "star" whose responsiblity it is to carry the whole thing.

no photo
Thu 06/11/09 09:23 AM



Ok I see what you are saying, In that case I believe your best friend(male or female) should remain just that, but in a case where you meet "the one" the former will have to understand that your new relationship will likely develop bonds possibly greater then the one's shared by you and him or her.


I feel it's very important to keep up friendships even when you're in a relationship. Sure, your new relationship will be important, but aren't your current friendships important as well?


My bonds with my girlfriends are stronger than my bond with my ex-husband and current boyfriend, just in different ways. I didn't give up anything. Matter of fact, my friends have been there my whole life, through everything. My ex, also one of my best friends, wasn't.

I think it's highly unfair and unrealistic for your partner to be your be all and end all. I can't be that for anyone and I don't expect that of my boyfriend. He's one of my best friends, my lover, my partner in life, but it's way too much responsibility to expect him to be my "everything." The only person who can do that is me, and on some days it's overwhelming to me too. Each person in my life has a role, just as I have a role in someone else's. It's sort of like an ensemble cast, each is equally important in their own way, and without them, the play would falter but there is no one "star" whose responsiblity it is to carry the whole thing.


Yes, I agree that it's unrealistic to expect one person to be everything.

Jimmyjabes's photo
Thu 06/11/09 10:28 PM
Ok I realize that expecting one person to be "everything" seems a bit selfish, I guess The "idea" of the "one" in my mind exceeds reality.

beautyfrompain's photo
Thu 06/11/09 10:32 PM
Edited by beautyfrompain on Thu 06/11/09 10:36 PM
Do you have an older brother? lol

Jimmyjabes's photo
Sun 06/14/09 04:33 AM
No mam just me, sorry

bry11calcool's photo
Sun 06/14/09 06:45 AM
Jimmy,

It may be that if you are looking for something with a focus on what you will get out of it, you may hinder yourself from giving the kind of love that will result in your getting the quality of love that you deserve . . . and in fact desire.



In other words . . . put your heart in a giving mode, and not a seeking mode, and leave it to God to take care of your "soul" . . . trust Her . . . She does a good job with such things.

But what the heck do I know?

Bry glasses


lnghntr's photo
Sun 06/14/09 06:47 AM
soulmates are like unicorns...sounds cool but just aint out there

Jimmyjabes's photo
Sun 06/14/09 03:00 PM
Edited by Jimmyjabes on Sun 06/14/09 03:05 PM

Jimmy,

It may be that if you are looking for something with a focus on what you will get out of it, you may hinder yourself from giving the kind of love that will result in your getting the quality of love that you deserve . . . and in fact desire.



In other words . . . put your heart in a giving mode, and not a seeking mode, and leave it to God to take care of your "soul" . . . trust Her . . . She does a good job with such things.

But what the heck do I know?

Bry glasses




Well sir thank you for the kind words. I have an issue with being "too" kind and giving and thus has resulted in my current situation. I believe in giving what one expects to get however when too much is given it often facilitates an ever growing expectation of the "standard" at least in my experience. The old additive nice guys finish last comes into play here as well, as I believe some women are very skilled at finding and exploiting the "nice" ones I am very spiritual and I believe the soul possesses many talents one of which is the longing for a connection matched seamlessly with another.

Ad astra per aspera.

Jimmyjabes's photo
Sun 06/14/09 03:04 PM

In a long life, I know we have more than one soulmate. I have had more than one.

Theres something honest, and decent, and noble about someone hoping for that spiritual connection. When its present, its amazing, certainly not something we can share with everyone, but definitely worth waiting for.


You seem to have a great understanding of this concept, I would dare to say that you listen to your spirit and follow it's cues. I believe we are all "part" of the same energy so one could conclude many possible "soul mates" given the limitless amount of energy present in our world.

no photo
Tue 06/16/09 04:29 AM
If your best friend is your best friend and you aren't willing to let anyone new in your life take over that role, then your "best friend" mine as well be your significant other. You can call your best friend from before best friend still, because after all what is in a name, but the reality is that if you aren't willing to commit yourself to the person you are with the relationship is one out of practicality and not true love.

We tend to find relationships with people we are attracted to that fit certain logical expectations for what they can provide and how they behave themselves. None of this logic is found in love.

Not everyone is meant to love. Some people just don't truely love others. Females and males alike. Its common for males to seek nothing other than sex and practicality their entire lives. In the same way there are many independent females that think for themselves and put themselves first so much that they will never have love.

In fact love isn't what everyone is looking for. "singmesweet" may think shes looking for love, but it certainly sounds like shes looking for practical companionship and nothing more.

Jimmyjabes I think you want someone that you can feel personal with in your personal space. Someone so close to you that they have permissions with you that no one else has. Becareful though make sure that you dont get so comfortable with them that you think they know what you're thinking. Make sure to always speak your mind.

no photo
Tue 06/16/09 05:07 AM
No soul=No soulmate

Romantic nonsense.

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 06/16/09 05:15 AM
I did find my soulmate

He's my best friend!!!

Th3Friend's photo
Tue 06/16/09 12:14 PM
What does your soulmate look like or where do they live? Sounds like you are limited in your options. I think the biggest misconception is that there is someone out there, that is going to make you complete. You have to complete yourself, or you'll never be happy ... with anyone. No matter what label you put on them. Dont confuse love. Its evil and heavenly all in the same breath.

AGoodGuy1026's photo
Tue 06/16/09 12:55 PM


Dating is nerve racking?????

Perhaps you are dating the wrong sex! Just a thought.


So I've always been very in touch spiritually (not so much religious) and I believe in the "soul mate" reality. Dating is nerve racking to me and some seem to think that looking (passively) for one's soul mate is too much what do you think?



No I'm straight for the record, it's just difficult to go from a long term marriage( right out of highschool) to the world of dating is all.


perhaps you just need to be alone for a while, and sort yourself out first? Why the pressing NEED to be in a relationship?

no photo
Tue 06/16/09 02:43 PM
Edited by CarlHofflander on Tue 06/16/09 02:44 PM
My advice is this; don't talk: do. Be more of a doer than a sayer. Lead by example. More specifically; don't tell anyone anymore that you ''want a soulmate''. Look quietly for one. Don't tell the girl you're dating that you want that. Think about peoples ''conceptions''. Girls believe in ''Soulmates'' and think that guys don't. Hence; if you even use that word; they'll think many things manically (all at once in a female frenzy, lol). She'll think you're a liar, or a dirty no job havin' hippy, etc. They'll probably never think that you mean it.

So; think about what a ''soulmate'' means to you. Then think about what you have to give someone to make them feel those extreme feelings about you. Then give, and you will get (maybe). Either way; good luck.

P.S. It's ''adage'', not ''additive'', LOL! :D