It may seem hard now,but you cant look at it that everyone inside or outside of the church is doing it. Look at it that one day you will find a man that u will solely give yourself to, someone you can trust to take care and love you.We are all responsible for our own sins and although sin is inexcapable we should not use that as an excuse to commit it. I believe prayer and making good use of your time does lessen the burden a little.

There is no question in my mind that sex before marriage is against God. The Bible does speak clearly about it according to Paul's epistles. I'm glad that Paul spoke wisely about marriage being an escape for immorality, too.

My experience has been being single and having an ever growing sexual desire. It's extremely difficult to wait for the right one when there are so many things that I hear about, that it's so good and fun. Well, I'm one of the few virgins left in this world, and it's not getting any easier. It's as if I'm tired of praying about this matter, too. I'm just learning to accept and embrace this part of me, because it's who I am. I'm not condoning fornication, I just stating my experience is unpleasant and frustrating in waiting for it.

Having sex for recreation purposes or not being involved with your partner is wrong. I believe though if a couple are exclusive, loving and committed to each other, what's wrong with that. There are some couples committed to each other, but don't want to be married for some reason. I, myself think marriage (state interferrance) is illrelevant. So many states have made a mockery of marriage. Even though this liberal state overwhelming voted that marriage was between a man and a woman, the states politicians, who know so much more and protecting it's citizens than the voters know, the politicians overrode the vote with semantics and came up with a law legalizing Civil Unions . There are other states where homosexuals can actually marry.

In the state where I live 'The Peoples Republic Of Oregon', I don't want the phase "Under the Oregon state laws" and a license signed by the governor, who made Civil Unions possible. I find that hypocritical. I'm making a covenant to God and the woman I'm in love with, there will still be the commitment between us. God knows how I feel about commitment. Is there anyplace in the Bible where it says, verbatim, that committed sex is exclusively for marriage?

I have read of people having a commitment ceremony to avoid the states interference.

Governments didn't even get involved in the process of marriage for a long time. .

In Jesus' time you didn't need a preacher or a license from the state to be married, just an agreement and commitment between the two and marriage was not a civil event as it is today. Does God understand the commitment of the heart, in his eyes you have committed your heart and soul to each other.

I've read there are indications that at that time fornication was meant as casual sex or party sex.

Ron

Tough question how to avoid sex. Well what is your focus? If your focus is on sex then not having sex is nearly impossible. As far as relationships go what is your goal? Myself I have not had sex in about 6 and a half years. At first it was tough but as time goes on and my focus changed I do not think about it as much. Focusing on following Christ will change your values. over time your focus changes from your wants to serving others needs.

As for you that is a decision you must make. i read a book that had a set of 4 questions that you can use to determine if you are in God's will. Questions are as follows:
1) Am I doing this for the glory of God, or just to please myself?
2) Am I rushing ahead impulsively, or am I willing to wait?
3) Can I defend what I am doing from the word of God?
4) As I contemplate this move do I have joy and peace within?

Now apply those questions to having sex before marriage. I think you can figure out the answers. if not we can go into them more and discuss this. Email me if you like.
Jon

Good question. Is it more sinful to kill or to have sex? Well turn to the bible. it answers that question. Look at James 2:10. All sin is equal in the eyes of the lord. so the answer would be they are the same.

In the time of Jesus marriage was different. You got married publicly but did not live together until a year after. At this time was the marriage consummated. Also if the wife was found not to be a virgin the husband would have proof and be able to divorce her. Looking at the way society takes marriage I think we have it all wrong. Make us spend the same amount of time and money getting married as it takes to get a divorce and you would see fewer divorces.

The Bible doesn't say "we shouldn't have have sex before marriage." It blatanly says,"Do not have sex before marriage." It is not a suggestion. However, if we do make a mistake,there is forgiveness.

I was very torn on the issue for awhile, but i'm not anymore.
We all agree sex is fun great whatever u want to call it but God wants that in the marriage.
I have heard several say if u really care for the person, and when it ends it ends. I just came from a relationship where we had sex and i loved him a lot and had no intentions of being with anyone else then the guilt started I realized i was not and have not been in Gods will for a very long time. I tried to rationalize what i was doing by saying "well eventually we will get married so it will be ok". For me I could not live with myself like i was and so when i turned my life back over to the Lord my thoughts changed to what they should of been in the first place on the Lord, and in turn me and the guy and nothing but sex in common.
Right now i am happier than i have been in a while and one day when the time is right He will send me the one He has for me not one of my making.
I like the 4 questions Jon asked and if we all would ask those in everything we do we would be alot better off.
Love the Lord with all your mind body and strength and you will be ok. Blessing to u all.

Pfft, sex BEFORE marriage?.. Ill take the sex, YOU get married.

The questions were from a book called strategy of Satan

Here is the way I feel about it, as a Christian... now don't everyone jump down my throat and call me a heretic or whatnot. I'm an unmarried virgin. I'm young, only 24 years old and I don't plan on being a virgin when I'm in my 30s. Now we know what it is written about fornication in Corinthians "if a man and woman long for eachother, let them marry for it is better than to burn with passion"(but in Corinthians it also said that women must cover their heads in the church because they aren't the glory of God but of man), so there are some things that are left up to interpretation. I am not a "casual dater" nor do take part in what many people do my age and go from one bedroom to another. I would like to remain a virgin until marriage, but I am an imperfect human being. There are many christians with unrealistic expectations from their faith. They believe that they will be miraculously paired up with "the one", have a short courtship and have a long marriage with good sexual chemistry that lasts happily ever after. IT DOES WORK FOR SOME, but NOT all. I have to burst a few bubbles there, knowing friends who have had unhappy relationships for those reasons and well, being the product of a less than happy marriage. You cannot just start up a basically platonic relationship with someone, take the plunge and think that you're going to have great sexual chemistry. This is especially true if one or both partners is a virgin and has no idea what they're doing (like i said don't jump my throat on this one). A marriage needs to have consistent emotional/sexual chemistry or it will not survive. People that walk into a union with a prudent mindset aren't going to do so well.Just ask yourself this question; why would you go for the long haul with someone when you have no idea how well you do with them in a very important area? This is why infidelity occurs. While I have the ideal of remaining chaste until the day I marry the woman I fall in love with, I cannot make this as a total "set in stone" promise. I would be a liar if I did that. While I do not condone fornication, I still have to be realistic and say that something may happen with the right woman if we have been together long enough, even if marriage isn't in the foreseeable near future. Love happens, and no one can tell me that two people that decided to make a mistake and be intimate with one another before matrimony are somehow evil, or worse than two people who waited. And yes, sex is meant for much more than procreation. It was meant to be enjoyed. So for the time being, I am still a pure man and going through the journey of life until I find her or she finds me and I finally have someone to spend eternity with.

People use to cope with this by getting married at much younger ages. Typically the marriages were hastily arranged affairs ( "shotgun weddings" ). Many had premarital sex but they got married as soon as a pregnancy occurred ( no birth control pills back then ).

True. This is where things kinda go wrong... I knew of a christian girl (or supposedly christian girl) who got married after high school just so they could have a "green light" and their husband came home to find them occupied with someone else. whoops....I believe in marrying for love and love only, when the time is right. No one should ruin their life and run into something head on at a young age when they have so much to do either. i've seen people give up their ambitions just to be married and they regret it later on in life.

Really? I'm not sure about that last part there. I think once we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior we are to go and at least try and not sin, at least knowingly. We don't get baptized and accept Jesus and say, "Cool, now let's party down!"

First good for u that u have waited this long, but being sexually compatable is not everything the one i was in the relationship with we were very compatable in that area but in the other things we were not and at first i thought we were. You are right u never know what u will do untill u are in that situation. It had been a very very long time for me and i never thought i would do that until i was married and now i know that if i had been in his will i wouldnt of but i wasnt and i did so now its time to move forward.

I do agree with Kat completely so many think when u get saved u can do whatever u want and its ok but i understand the Bible to say that no sin will enter in (Heaven). So I have been saved for 19yrs and my falling off the wagon, so to speak, if i had died with that sin in my heart i would of went to hell. But the Lord in His mercy and grace has been so good to me. The thing we should do is pray for eachother and not kick thoses who have fallen.
God bless

The older I get, the less this is a big issue. Or maybe sex just isn't a big issue because I've done it a lot ;) I'm not sure. I agree with everyone that love and committment are the important things to remember when having any sexual relationship. There was a point in my life when I didn't want an emotional relationship with anyone and just slept around. i thought, "guys do it all the time, why shouldn't I?" It made me feel empty and dirty. And honestly, I didn't enjoy it. As a result of that, I now have my beautiful daughter. Having her changed everything in my life. I finally realized that God created me unique from everyone else and loves me, regardless of how I feel about myself. Because God allowed my body to make my daughter, I MUST respect it. It truly is a temple. Now, I don't sleep around. I did have sex with my last boyfriend, but we were intending on getting married. It just didn't work out. Would it if we hadn't had sex? I don't think it really mattered either way. At least with him, I kept my respect and dignity.

No we are not to have sex out side of marraige ,this is how I undersand the bible and we need to live to the Holy word it was given to us so we would know the wright way. Paul said it clearly and this is a perafrase but here goes--- We were made free through Christ now sould we use our freedem to keep on sinning absolutly not. we need to live to the rightiosness of Christ. We are to disire to grow in the likeness of Christ every day. I beleave in abstenece till marrage even though I was marriad for many years. and have now become sulibit for years. We have to follow what Jesus and God set for us .

To set the record straight, The Bible is True and every man is a liar.. With that being said, we as Christains which means to be Christ like are not to engage into sex before marriage for one good reason.. The Bible saids not to.. We mock God when we do things that his word saids not to do.. therefore we cannot draw closer to God because of the mockery in our lives.. yes he forgives and he continues to love us yes we might even have some power but we lack his authority.. so demons laugh the world laughs when we speak..if we cut the mockery we acknowlege God and we gain right to use God's Authority in our own lives... Whatever area of our lives that's not open or surrendered to God Belongs to satan..and God wants all of us or he will take none of us.. That's many are called but few are chosen... If you are a man or women who is caught up watching porn.. You are mocking God.. if you watch shows that promotes gay or lesbian you are mocking God.. The seed of Porn and the rest of those kinda shows promotes gay lesbian lifestyles.. Think about God created male and female for each other Satan seeks to pervert everything that God promotes so satans agenda has to be the opposite no matter the pleasure you recieve from the incident the seed of mockery is Satan's goal in each Christian Life and the world over.. For it is written that God will not be mocked... check the scriptures for yourselves if you don't believe the messenger of freedom.. God Bless
P.S. Whatever you run to when you are upset that is your god... Many will say Lord Lord... some of you know the rest of this scripture.. God is doing something new in his church the dream of Tommy Hicks is on the rise the True Church is about to stand on her feet to give God the Glory he so rightfully deserves... Hear what the Spirit Of God is Saying to the Church....

Its a very tough question. Simply put, no, we should not have sex outside of marriage. WE should strive at all costs to commit to one person, marry them, and cleave to them for a lifetime. That being said...


this is a very difficult thing for me because I am very physical and affectionate. I find myself when I love and I am in close proximity with someone,,wanting to be as close as possible. I think it is the ONE Most major sin I battle with. but each day is a chance to get stronger and learn more ,,,