I have some kick a$$ friends

As far as I'm concerned......

......there is NOTHING to say.......

To my 'ex':
"Why did you even ask me to marry you since it's obvious that my dreams were not yours?!?"

But moreover:
"Why did you say that you wanted a kid when it's obvious that she's just a 'token' to you now and you want NO responsibility in raising her!??!" Joint custody fight? WTF??!!??

FRIENDS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss you so much,
I just wish you were here
for me to tell you one more time,
HAPPY FATHERS DAY! But, that will
not happen ever again. DAD, I
MISS you SOOO VERY much!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!

It was sooooo good ta talk with u last night. I went to sleep with a smile on ma face

I think it's time I change my focus.
I know it's time to affirm the positive.

"Reap what you sow, I'm not gonna repeat myself that I have told you about this, you wouldn't listen to me, and now you are angry, because I was right and you were wrong, but you'd never admit it openly, but deep down you know it."

It's been so good havin ya ta talk ta this weekend, I'm gonna miss u this week while ur on the road

why start something with someone and build them up and then blow them off!!!!

i'll ALWAYS be there for you!

Wonder why some people are threatened by things they don't understand or another's differences.

MUST be ignorance!

Hhhmmmmmm ...?????!!

you cheated on me and then made me feel like it was ALL MY FAULT we broke up because I was stressing out at home about my custody battles and not wanting to talk to you so I didn't have to drag you into it.

You A$$.

You made me feel like sh!t for not calling you more often. You made me feel like dirt for trying to keep our calls short because I didn't want you to hear me cry or yell or scream.

BUT YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME! WITH A 19 YEAR OLD!

YOU A$$!!!!



I will always be your friend, but I can not love you anymore.

YOU LIED TO ME.

I thought you were camping at your "campsite". The I was told you went to NC to be with your brother and would be back that Fri.


2 WEEKS I WAITED FOR YOUR F*CKING A$$ TO COME HOME AND CALL ME!


I called every day from that Friday on.

Where the hell were you?

And then you have the ***** to tell me I didn't talk to you enough???



Where were you when I was calling?

AT HER HOUSE!

I am too old for that piddly sh*t.

Everybody was right. I should have ditched you when you told me that if I went to go see my daughter in Israel, that you would probably not feel the same when I got back because you figured I would have slept with my ex-husband while I was there.

You know what? Only someone who has cheated before would think something stupid like that.

There is a reason he is my ex.

Ask ANY WOMAN.

When someone hurts you as bad as he hurt me, you don't feel the same feelings.

Yeah I love him. I will always love him. He is my daughter's father. But I will never remarry him. I am not stupid.

But you thought I was.

You had no faith in me.

I stayed celibate for you for 8 months.

I loved you for all that time.

I was willing to give up school for you.

I was willing to give up so much for you.

But you wanted more.

My WHOLE LIFE is living in Israel right now and you couldn't even have the decency to understand I was only going there for 2 weeks????

You thought I would really sleep with HIM????

Are you crazy????


You liar!


How could you break up with me just a few weeks ago and then be posting about how she is a good kisser and that she is cuddly??????


I am NOT stupid.

Little birdies don't tell you sh!t.


Whatever.

Be happy with her.

I was there for you through the WORST days of your life.

I stayed up EVERY F*CKING NIGHT for 3 MONTHS until the early dawn while you where in the hospital getting Chemo.

I cried for you.

I got sick from lack of sleep, being up so late and then having to go to school at 8 AM, 2 hours after you finally went to sleep.

I had to switch my school hours around for you.

I started getting hurt at the plant when I would stay up till the wee hours of dawn and then go work at the plant at 7 AM.

I busted me *** to raise the money to come drive out and see you.

And what did you do?

You told me that you were going to get a job so you could save up some money and pay off your debts and come live with me till I graduated.

You then said, "All the jobs out here require me to fill out an application online, but my computer broke." So I called in a few favors with my teachers and not only got you BRAND NEW MEMORY CARDS FOR YOUR MAC, but I also got them to get you the LATEST OS models for it. So you weren't running the computer on an OS from the 1900's.

I helped you with so much.

And this is how you chose to repay me.

By telling me I was a bad girlfriend for a friggin month because I didn't spend 10 hours on the phone with you.

Because I was hiding my pain from you so you could recover.

This whole time, you were cheating on me with her.

Whatever.

I had MULTIPLE chances to date and sleep with guys 100's of times better than you.

Firemen. Police Officers. First Seargants. Staff Sargeants. Oh hell, I had plenty of Jewish Men to choose from too, which would have been soooo much easier for me, as I am Jewish so I wouldn't have to explain why I have to light the candles and not eat pork. I wouldn't have had to fight with them to go to Israel, they would have JUMPED at the chance.


I guess we were too different, you and I.

I believe in busting my *** in a relationship and for a relationship. I believe in commitment. Um, hello... married for 7 years. (Yeah I say it was 4 cause we split to different countries our fourth year, but we were married for 7). I believe family comes first. I believe in keeping the promises I make.

I believe that NO JOB, even McDonald's (which, btw, you can just walk in and apply. That's what I did and I got hired in one week. I didn't fill out an online application for McDonald's) is TOO beneath me. A job is a job. I am busting my *** proudly for the McMan so I can pay my rent and bills and save up money to go to Israel as often as I can.

And you???????



Can't even afford to fix your car or pay your fees to the courts to get your license back.

Hm.


Yeah. I guess it is best it is over.


There are better people in the world that hold the SAME values as me.

And they won't tell me, "I will only give you 2 more kids. If you cheat and have 3, I will leave you"

They will give me as many kids as we can afford.

I come from a family of 7 siblings. Ya think my daughter was the ONLY child I was going to have? COME ON!

I will not have more than I can afford to have without state assistance. If that means I have to stop at kid #4, then so be it.

Seriously, you pissed me off when you would just sit around the house all day and play the damn video games I gave you. And yell at me when I couldn't find the cheat codes for them. I tried. I never had a problem with those games. Only you. I even got your computer to cheat for you when I sent you the OS and the Memory cards.

You made me angry when you would stay up and keep me up till 3 or 4 AM and then I would get a few hours rest before waking up to see my daughter via Skype. Sometimes I would fall asleep while chatting with her. How do you think that made me feel and look? You made me angry when I would be in the middle of class and you would call me. I TOLD YOU I GET OUT OF SCHOOL AT 9:30 PM AT THE EARLIEST. Not at 9.

I worried about you so much all the time I got sent home from school for crying too much.

I couldn't have been a better girlfriend.

I really tried.

I gave more to this than you did.

All you did was pick up a phone and call me.

And you would get mad if I couldn't talk because I was the DD for my sister. Or my landlady wanted me to come to her house for dinner. Or because I would do nice things for my neighbor and watch his kid for him. Oh yeah. I was sleeping with him. Right. Go ahead and jump to conclusions. It would be just like you to. He and I had no sexual relations and I can say that with a straighter face than Mr. Clinton could because I have a clear conscience.

You have the audacity to blame me for the failure of us.

And you made me believe it.


Ha ha!

But you made a mistake.

You see, you told me to talk to my friends about what happened. So I did.

Yep, even my neighbor laughed. He metophorically ***** slapped me for being so blind.

None of this was my fault.

In fact, HE was the one who found out about her before I did.

Seriously.

You are flirting with her after having broken up with me only 2 weeks ago?


You left this relationship a long time ago hon. Don't you dare blame this sh!t on me.

I am still healing. Even though my neighbor is interested and has been interested in being more than friends and neighbors, I am not going to just jump on him like a monkey on a trampoline.

Not when every time I smell Obsession on a man walking by in the mall makes me burst out in uncontrollable heartbreaking soul wrenching sobs.

No, he and I will just be neighbors. For now. If anything develops, oh, a month from now, then we will see. But I don't just jump from one to the next.

Took me 10 months to date again after a 7 year marriage.

Took me another 8 months when that broke up to find and date you.

I can't hate a man I once loved. I will never hate you. You made me laugh and smile and believe. But I will never trust you so blindly again. And my love for you will be the love of a friend. As it is for my daughter's father.

So good bye, my sweet penguin king.

I am angry and hurt for now, but I will always thank you and love you.

btw, sorry for the rant, but the thread said say anything so I did. I had to get it off my chest so I could start the healing process.

Sorry again, I do apologize. it was just something I had to do.

Wow! It's ok... you definitely needed to vent after going through all that. I wish you the best and thank you for making me realize that there are worse things out there to be going through than my own current cr*p.

I miss u. Where u be?

I was trying to offer words of comfort so long ago. I'm sorry if I was ineloquent but I wish you had told me you were offended. Instead, you let if fester, assumed I had ill intent, and then felt the need to berate me for it.

I really thought you had gotten to know me a little and would know I would never intend to be hurtful.

I miss you Chrissy

i see volumes and......................VOLUMES of pain here.........

i can only hope that people see the real truth to what is coming here, for this pain is truly a waste of our time...to minimalize it maybe should be what the real goal is


what do we gain by games.....lying........cheating.........stealing(hearts)........using ones that don't want to be used(those who like it, that's cool).......when true communication could solve 50% of it right the heck now.....just with friends and mis-understandings

and what we are, no matter what we are, we make up this world, and not one creature is less than another, not male over female, not fox over chicken not hierachys...nature has the only trump card, and that it's law is the food chain, but we are out of that chain HERE.

put away your trump cards and be a frigging friend! leave i'm the male, and i get certain privilages, and i'm the female, and i get certain privilages alone!!!!!....bunk! screw that!!!! make your own sh!t, and be best friends! no time for buhlsh!T anymore...your life is passing, and your time is waning! if you aren't with someone, take your time to satisfy yourself and get right with your self then you'll be ready for others!!!

we are null and void when other races were destroyed. our humanity became monstrous.....more monstrous than i've ever had to look apon now, at this time.

we destroy soo much, and fix temporary, and hope it holds, just like our relationships in this world, and it starts with friends....FRIENDS! we(as a race, all colors!) betray our supposed best friends!!!! what's up with that!!!!!!!!

no wonder the ice caps are melting and people ignore! this greed of i want it now, the hell with later........we will pay for with major change....AND WHAT THE PHHHUCK VALUE IS A RING TONE!!!!!???????
my point excactly. we are now paying for air and sounds! to be cooler than others....in the city, you hear stereos from cars...it's jumbled....listen to MY MUSIC!!!!....no! listen to MYYY MUSIC!!!...my stereo is even bigger!! LISTEN TO MINE!!! and damn near every car is doing this!

WHY. to feel like they are in! the fear of being out.......get 100 feet up in the air....and you find out.........none of it matters....wow! all the petty SH1T.......doesn't even matter. so why not tell it like it is? the truth, everytime!.... would telling a lie matter? YES!!! because it's direct effect, and the damage and energy stays, where truth diffuses issues and clears conciences. and WE ARE ALL WE'VE GOT!!!!
up there, there is nobody else, and we seem all equal, but here, we have "Stars" it's good to have mentors, but it's bad to have thousand dollar dinners(although they are tasty) when people are dying in tent cities from a hurricane four years ago...

i will leave you with something of value, and stupid is as stupid does, because the more i find out, the more confused i become, and the less i find out i know in this universe, for questions abound....... but knowledge elusive as ever.

to reach for society and status, is infinitesimal
to reach for the stars, mind, and beyond is infinate...



watch the animals....out here, in my forest, they are acting weird. things aren't right. survival mechanisms are off. foxes and some deer, not all, are coming up to me, non-chalantly now....this is wrong. something's up.