if it wasn't for the fact that its SMOKIN hot out here today ... I would say that is the best way to describe you ... smokin HAWT

I am sorry.

I know you want to be with me and you are happy with me now, but I will never be happy with you.

I will always think of him when you kiss me.
I am sorry for that.

I can never be truly happy with you. I never have been. I don't know if you were/are my rebound guy, but you will not give to me the same joy he did.

I don't see a future with you.

I never have.

I always considered you a friend. You were there.

But you just don't make me happy.

And that's why, when I leave to go see my daughter, I am most likely not coming back.

But if we do sign that lease together before I go, I will make sure my half is paid in full before I leave. I don't want to make you pay for something you may not have wanted to do in the first place.

I know I said, let's give us 6 months to decide what we are to become.

But something in my heart just says, you are not the right fit for me.

I will never love you the way you want me to.

I think you figured that out when my daughter's father and I spoke about you last night while you were on the couch. How I kept repeating, "we are comfortable but that's about it."

It sucks.

But I will NEVER feel about you the way I felt about M.

never.

And I can say that because I know it deep in my heart.

This will never work, but I just can't bear to tell you.

I guess because today's my birthday and I am preparing to start a new year of life that this is why I can finally say this.

M really was it for me. I don't have the strength, energy or desire to love like that again.

I am really sorry, honey. I know you feel so attached to me. I know you have been hoping for something more, but I will never want that. You are a good friend, but you just don't make me happy. I don't think about you all the time. I think about how am I going to sell all my stuff before I go.

That's why I didn't want to talk to My daughter's father about it last night.

I didn't want you to hear that instead of asking my cousin for the money for the $1300 ticket home round trip, that I would rather take the $400 buddy pass deal and risk the chance of being stuck in another airport for 2 weeks to a month and getting fired from my job here, because I really am not coming back. This is my choice. You will not change what is in my heart. Sorry.

I am really sorry.

That is just too cute!

I woke up early this morning... and With a Smile on my face to boot!! Yay!! I've been tryin to change this Crazy Sleep Cycle of mine for a while now...
...I'm betting that if I had someone to wake up beside... I might Always have a smile on my face...

Holy crap batman. What smells?

This is true, if only because I was dreaming about the night before.

It hurts so much to feel like this......

I know I will see you this weekend, but next will be better.

I get you for 4 1/2 days all to myself

cant WAIT to hear your voice!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait to meet you.

The_Pete_Man..........

"I say it best....when I say nothing at all...."

I am at a loss for words ... for the first time in my life, I have no encouraging , smart-azz remarks, to lighten up the desperation that envelopes us .... He is gone now, I hope to a peaceful and a tranquil place where the demons no longer control him....

You make me smile.

You make my heart melt.

You adore the squishy side of me.

You have given me hope again.

You have given me a taste of what could and what will be.

You've worked yourself into my heart and I adore you.

Thank you, Love, for all you've given me

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