not that I'm defending her. she's a psychob*tch

Not a problem.

well I'm glad you are amused

this is a scenario that a close girlfriend of mine is going through - as she and I think differently I decided to post this question and I got great information that I was not aware of.

It can happen to men/women, actually it does happen daily...

not meant as man bashing but something my friend is actually going through

The child support system in this country is completely retarded.


The mother should keep the reciepts of everything she buys and the court should determine whether the items purchased were a necessity to the baby's health and well being.


The father should reimburse those amounts.


It's that simple. It's a universal solution for every case.

He still owes legally and IMO.

I have a friend going through that. The child is now working and is a parent. The child's father is still paying back one state. He had already paid back another state.

My friend too, I was just curious. Truly don't believe the debt should be erased but found it strange how now after all these years she was getting positive results.

Kudos to her and all who receive their support payments as required.

If it's that simple then I would be owed a hell of a lot more than I get in child support.

I have heard stories of people getting child support after the kids are adults and the children think they are entitled to all of the money. One mother had 2 children and asked them what they would like her to do with it. One adult kid took his share, one gave it right back to his mother.

There has to be some consequence to having children and just disappearing into thin air, whether you are male or female. If you have to pay until you are 100, then so be it.

No matter how one sees it he owes it for excample if you go buy a car and stop paying on it cause the motor blew up will the dealership say ohhhh man I'm sorry let me clear that debt for you. Duhhhhhhhhhhh don't think so you will pay it one way or another.

Now days they will garnish your wages and your income tax as well.

And as far as having more kids that does not make a difference at all he should thought about that long time ago.

So what if he leaves this one as well guess he would expect not to pay her child support either. Wonder what his excuse would be then.

I only got $150 a month for 2 kids my choice I wanted out of the marriage did he pay it every month noooo but did most of the time.

Now days once you file on them the state will pick it up and go with it. Prison would do no good at all heck make him get a second job and then maybe he will realize what he did wrong.

Well, whoever the senario belongs to, obviously the mother didn't demand help in providing for the child's well being.

It is a sad world we live in where these guys cannot stand up and do what is required. Pity that "Forcing" someone to get a second or third job is the standard, they should have already made that choice on their own; but want to cry their pity party on how the world does them so wrong...
It should not been a matter of choice to pay a meesly $150 per month that is what? the Water bill for a month?
(had to change that)

That totally sucks... man this topic gets my goat...

How would it be the woman's fault?

Does cheating on you make her less of a mother?

You are so wrong and out of line

The mother did file, she even went as far as requesting less support than state minimum to make sure he would pay. Anyway, my question was her child is now an adult (23) and now she's receiving her benefits - asked for member input, as I truly believe a debt owed is just that a debt owed, no forgiving and she just wants to drop the whole thing but is unable to do so (as per court system).

Many people are ordered to pay child support, many of those do and many don't pay.

I think he just misunderstood, but then again maybe I remind him of someone

And daycare bills, school fees, doctor co-pays, medications, extra cirricular activities, sports participaton fees, eight million birthday party gifts plus travel expenses, tutoring, music lessons, field trips, summer camp, school supplies, replacement items (ripped shoes, stolen backpack, wet school book, etc), christmas, birthdays, etc etc etc. Oh and teen years..... well that would take too long.

You left out ALL of that. Oh, you left out utility and grocery expenses too.


I'm guessing you don't have kids?

That is exactly what I do not get about some of these guys, Children or no, they think/assume that the Mother is after them to make life hard for them. Yet they do not stop to consider what it was like growing up with one or both parents that actually did take the time to support them.

I said this before about both parents at home, Dad with two jobs Mom with one; All of our meals were carefully planed, Breakfast was measured for one bowl of cereal and milk, Lunch was PB&J with two cookies, and dinner was portioned out with no leftovers or seconds. That was just meals, we wore hand me downs from nearby cousins. I did not see a name brand shoe till I was Nine and that was only because I built a lawnmower, went out and hustled.

I ended up leaving home at a very young age and never turned back to my parents, and I have never asked for a dime of help. The day after my Ex told me I was going to be a Father, I went out and took on a Third job to support what we already had. I was only home for two or three hours a week that first six months of my Daughter's life but She and her Mother wanted for nothing.

Now my Ex is re-married we have two Children together, She and her Husband have a Third. I send home money each week, when she calls to ask, "Mortgage Payment is tight, can you help?" She knows there is no question about it I am there to help. New shoes for Track, uniforms for sports, fitted rackets for tennis, school clothes and supplies, the co-payment for doctor visits(Insurance I supply).

Just gets on my nerves... It is easy to do the right thing, but these guys cry hard it is and create so much stress and drama by fighting over "Their Money".

NO ONE can tell me "But the Economy I cannot find a job"... Sure you can, go mop some friggen floors... YOU cannot find the "dream job"... get off your ass, bust it and take care of your children...

LC: the issue I have is absent parents saying they don't want the money going to their ex, and that they need to account for how it is spent.

If I use it to pay my rent, what does that mean? To me, it means I provided shelter and then the funds I earned can go towards groceries, utilities, and a birthday gift.

If I use it to pay my car note, what does that mean? It means I can go to work to pay the hundreds of other bills the child support doesn't even cover.

The fact is, the money is to support the child, in the household. That means whatever bills need paid. And that means the mother or father uses for whatever they need to to cover the monthly needs.

How about this: If the deadbeat parent would provide the actual parenting parent an accounting of what they do with their money then we can see where the real discrepancies lie.

I divorced the father of my 2 kids 16 yrs ago. He has had 2 more children since then and the entire time those 2 little kids were growing up he dodged haveing to pay me ( I hear 500 a month for 1 child! 303.00 /month for my 2 kids!0
He let all his children suffer by either working under the table or not at all.
He had several good jobs while we were married and was perfectly capable of holding down a decent job. He cose not to.
I hold guys like Cole in high regard... Who cares what she uses the money for it benifits the kids.
We made it OK without his help but it sure would have been nice to be able to afford the things my kids WANTED, they had their needs taken care of.
It also would have been setting an example for the kids...Own up to your responcibilities!