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Topic: What should I do?
TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 04/27/09 11:34 AM

See, child support and visitation are not connected. The child has a right to that money.


Very true nor can one keep a child away from a parent that really wants to be there. Even if they do not pay child support that does not have anything to do with visitation rights they are very much separated from each other.


TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 04/27/09 11:38 AM


If the child is born while he is married to this lady, unless he signs the birth certificate, our OP will have to prove this guy is the father.


If the child is born after his divorce, the OP will still have to prove he is the father, unless he signs the birth certificate.



Very true but very easy for before they will set child support either the father has to sign agreeing he is the father or the court will issue a DNA test to be done. If the guy is the father he will not only have to pay child support but as well as pay the courts back for the DNA test.


SassyLady128's photo
Mon 04/27/09 12:53 PM
Does the guy want to see the child? If not, I wouldn't push anything on him. I wouldn't sue for child support if he states he's not interested in the child. If he is forced to pay child support, he may later become interested in the child and may then sue for sole custody. That's what I feared with my ex-husband. Sometimes they do it out of vindictiveness. Such court battles can be lengthy and constant source of stress, which does NOT benefit the child.

To me, the money was never important. I knew I could raise my son alone, and I did, with no regrets. My purpose was to shield my son from any stress, court battles and whatever might have come up to sabotage our happiness. I grew up watching my own parents fight over child support and I know the trauma that I experienced because of it. It went on for years and I was constantly put in the middle, having to choose one parent's side over the other. I didn't want that for my son. And since my husband wanted no ties to us, my son had a peaceful childhood without the drama.

My decision isn't right for everyone. But my point is, put your child first. If you need the money and don't think it will add stress to your child's life, then sue for it. But if it's going to cause constant drama for that child, he/she would be better off without it. Emotional security is much more important than financial security, in my opinion.

cgeo's photo
Mon 04/27/09 04:13 PM
two things.without honesty there is no foundation for a relationship and 2 those dam ex-wives, they're everywhere and seems like everyone has one,,,or a ex-husband.drinker

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