This may bet bumped to the Relationship section but oh well.

It is hard for me to accept that we live in a world that doesn't reward the truly nice and kind individuals.
Regardless of a womans build, I can't imagine that there are women out there who don't like being treated with respect, equality, and kindness. What is so bad about a guy who would treat a woman this way?

I just looked at an article from another site and it says that some women find nice guys to be too nice. The logical part of my mind can not find the sense in this. I know through experience that this is true, but why?

I'd like it if some women would help us men by clarifying why it is that some women find nice guys to be too nice.


The article I read was here:
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88037/dating-question-can-a-guy-be-too-nice/;_ylc=X3oDMTNlcTI1NGtkBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjE0MjE2Mzc0MwRrA0NhbiBhIEd1eSBCZSBUb28gTmljZQRzZWMDZnBfdG9kYXkEc2xrA2RhdGluZy1xdWVzdGlvbi1jYW4tYS1ndXktYmUtdG9vLW5pY2UEenoDYWJj



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Suggested reading, "The search for Serenity". There's a chapter that describes accurately what this mythical nice guy is.

Wow! This is the widest post I've ever seen! Got a 22 inch monitor and still can't fit it all there.

So many women say they're looking for a nice guy, then when they finally get one, don't like him.
I think it goes to primitive instincts, where a woman is looking for a 'protector'. If a guy is too nice to her,
he may be too nice to any agressors 'attacking' her. If they see a man who will dominate them,
they see a man who will dominate an attacker.
It's pretty stupid when you think about how often a woman really gets attacked in the domesticated 21st century,
but that's how they want it.

But I'm an architectural designer, not a human behavioral scientist...though my dad is.
So maybe the ladies can give you a better answer.

i've read behavioral books that address this, but i'd like to here it from women, why it is that they think a guy is too nice to be more than a friend.

as far as the wideness of this post, i understand what you mean. i couldn't figure out a way to shrink the link down.


. . .

I don't understand it either Drew.

I've seen guys treat girls like s*** and the girls just seem to like the guy more because of it. I think I remember an episode of Family Guy that investigated this topic.

You could try this - putting a small text BB code on the outsides of the URL codes.

I just went to the help forum and am still in the process of figuring things out, but it seems to work

i'll try that next time. it's too late to edit now.


. . .

I don't undersstand it myself, why girls let guys treat them like that or vise versa...I want a nice guy in my life, no abusers.....

but is there such a thing, in your opinion, as too nice?


. . .

the women are avoiding this like the plague.


. . .

Drew


been asked so many times


never get an actaul answer


its sad yes









and yes there is such a thing as to nice

Yup. There certainly is.

So you stop being "nice"-

If the person you're seeing disrespects you in some way, dump her. If that person treats you like a second-hand citizen because she wants to talk to her friends, leave her with her friends. If you feel like you're being put on the back-burner because of her inability to make time for you, then walk away.

The fact remains that it's YOUR feelings that are most important above anything else. It's not all about them, while you get nothing in return. If YOUR needs aren't being met, then let them know or simply dump them.

You give them ONE chance- if they disrespect, insult, or denigrate you in ANY way, show them the way to the door, and pronto.

And don't mistake being "nice" for being "good"- you can be a "good" person (meaning someone who doesn't go about spreading negativity around) and STILL not be a "nice" person (which will often get you pushed around and treated like a zero).

Okay, it's really simple. Nice guys typically aren't nice at all. To me, more often than not, hearing I'm a nice guy is a kiss of death, because the typical 'nice guy' is plotting your death.

i realize from the things that i've read on social dynamics and through experience that women aren't interested in guys that are too nice.
i'd like to hear from women on why they are like this.


. . .

lol


. . .

i agree fully. i don't take crap like that (anymore).


. . .

Nice guys finish last ...

The last to hold her
The last to kiss her
The last to love her


I love nice guys. I don't mean doormat! Too often the two get confused.

I like confidence. I like strength. I like respect. And I like nice!

And nice doesn't mean they can't be a little naughty in the bedroom still...


Not all women go for the bad boy bravado ...

I find this very true too. And here I am single, looking, and hoping that women would take notice. Here's a great man that they are missing out on, and when I'm taken, I'm taken.

I guess SOME don't know what nice is