Just moved to a small town....living most of my life in Cali, THIS is different for me. Urban and suburban communities have their own cautions and safeties. One of the safeties is a strength in numbers (if you're out in the daylight, there are plenty of "witnesses" to see detour malicious behaviour.

...point being....

I was walking home from the store in this small town and happened to turn on a path where I ended up being 30-40 yards behind a young girl walking.

I don't consider myself to "look a threat", but what does that mean these days?

She looked back at me as if terrified, and quickened her pace. To yell ahead "it's ok" would've been trite. I felt bad and somehow guilty when I shouldn't have.

I ended up going a block out of my way just to ease her fears.


To teach caution is important!!!!!!...but have we become TOO MUCH of a distrusting society?

Times & neighborhoods have changed often times not for the better.
Perhaps even more so with this economy, people in some cases have become desperate.

I applaud you for your decision to ease her fear.

I do agree however, it is not like it use to be. When I was a kid, I wasn't worried about any of the things the young ones are these days.

Even parents of the students I work with are getting more and more fearful... one told me today they can't walk home from the bus stop anymore due to a kidnapping that took place about a week ago near the vicinity. Sigh - it's getting to be a sad world in some ways.

Kudos to you for being sensitive to her distress ...

I do have to say, however, that we are responsible for our own fear based reactions though ...

I was first attacked when I was 12 - my first time in a big city. I didn't go back to that city for over 20 years. I allowed my own fear about what could happen stop me from living my life.

I have been attacked, chased, stalked and threatened ... and I live in less fear now than I ever have - it has been a choice.


I do agree with you all - we do live in a different time ... but it seems the more we focus on fear, the more there is to fear...


Sorry Beachie ... my brain just went on a rambling walkabout ...

It's the hair, Long hair on guys intimidates some people.

I dont go walking by myself much anymore because I have gotten that reaction from women and kids before. It actually sort of pisses me off. I have a freaking right to go wherever I want

Maybe they thought you were Dog the Bounty hunter & they were the fugitive

I don't typically change my path, just keep my pace. Shows more, I think...I go out of my way to look scary, mainly so that when people do get like that I can possibly change their view when I don't do anything. Or at least don't do anything they would imagine a creepy looking bastard like me to do.

I agree with Sherrie here Joel.... she owned her fear, not you... if you were projecting a threatening stance, then you would have some responsibility...however you don't, in this case.

Small towns are a concentrated, version of cities... everything is more magnified, by the lack of numbers....it's a fascinating experience, and one that has different parameters to adjust to, anonymity goes out the window, projected speculation becomes elevated... association by sheer presence is magnified.

If you are known by one single person in the town you are living in, in the loosest acquaintance way, you become guilty by association, instantly.

On the flipside, once you are 'let in' to the microcosm of a small town, then it is lifelong...the ties run very deep, the lack of privacy, becomes a form of intimacy, and support.

Just be you, keep skeedoodling down the street, whistling, observing, and being you... minus the giant trenchcoat and weird pervo glasses, and you'll be fine..




Sherrie you went walkabout? Without me? Am gonna take my didg and clapsticks home, humph!..

I've been walking, running, or skating at night in Tampa for more than 10 years.

I've never been chased, mugged, or even yelled at.

If you perceive other people as dangerous, they will feel your anxiety and respond to it. It is hurtful to walk around having people judge you for how you look, and it's obvious when a person turns their eyes away fast or refuses to look at you.

Look other humans in the eye. Smile. Say hi. Relax. Your fear is hurting people you are afraid of.

Brother, in this world today, that little girl could have spun around and put a burst from an AK into you, small town or not. You can't ever tell who the bad guys are like you can in the movies.

I've lived in NYC, San Fran, Seattle, Houston, Dallas, Phoenix and...damn I hate to admit this....Lincoln Park New Jersey, and here in Shreves-freakin-Port, Louisiana. And I've lived on my farm in the middle of nowhere Texas on the lake over 7 miles from the NEAREST neighbor. Of all those places, Shreveport has the second highest crime rate in the US. I've been shot here...more than one time, run over, had two guys try to invade my home, had my car broken into....and I have to be armed and look a little dangerous just to keep the hoodlums at bay. Hard to tell who they are. Its a trade off. Look innocent and like food, or look (and be) like it would be a mistake to f**k with you. Your call.

Its a far distant world from when I came up and we really did leave our doors unlocked. Sad too.

Long hair and beards. Still got that Snidley Whiplash fear going especially in small towns. The "church ladies" braved my house for coffee a time or two on my farm in Texas (TINY community) but only in herds.

I thought it was normal to cross the road or change your route a little if you end up walking behind a lone female. I didnt realise there were places where you wouldnt think about doing that.

Joel has short, back, and baptist sides now...

Crime is almost as low as it was back in the 60's
Recently it has upticked a bit.
2-3 yrs ago even lower.

"Baptist Sides" Lee..you slay me!!! (and I'm getting to the "microcosm" you speak of)

..and Sherrie..."more focused on fear...the more to fear" ALWAYS such poignant comments...as with EVERYONE'S (I'll even give a to the Dog..Bounty Hunter one)

Update: Just went out and people I have barely met were congratulating me on the new job. Perhaps in a small town familiarity CAN breed acceptance.

... OR contempt in some cases.

I wish that was normal. I've been uncomfortable when somebody didn't do that - more then once and they get close. It doesn't feel good when it's dark and I'm downtown.

Within the smaller towns you do seem to notice at times the things that never crossed your mind in the bigger towns. And at times those that are new to town specially single men are looked at with precaution.

I must say as some of the others did kuddos to you for in fact sensing her uneasiness and in fact for going out of your way. now days it does not matter if the person is clean cute and the face of and angel or if they have long hair scruffy looking ect...One can not tell by ones looks any more what intentions they have in mind.

I'm gonna walk where I want to myself, if she is that timid, shouldn't be alone. Have to agree with FreeToB, shreveport, sucks


And that's not my picture at the post office