Community > General Discussion

Topic: Starting to get scared
lighthouselover Joined Sun 10/14/07 Posts: 1100	Thu 04/09/09 08:31 PM
Thanks Deb! I am glad you have faith in me. I have known the groom for approaching 20 years, i should(hopefully) beable to add the sentimental side of things fairly easy. We have been through quite a lot together, so i must beable to come out with a couple of stories suitable. The BEST stories though are highly unsuitable! Like the time he got so drunk that he snogged a transvestite! haha I wish i could add that one in. Who needs jokes when you have material like that?! well, you could say how happy you are that he has found such a genuine woman!!

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:32 PM
as an example, Kevin (the bestman) talked about how people thought all the gold was out of the Black Hills of South Dakota, yet Keith found his treasure there... (Danielle and Keith met while they were working summer jobs in the Black Hills area next to Mount Rushmore) He also talked of how Danielle loved her Cabbage Patch dolls and how he hoped that their children would be a bit better looking than those dolls were... He talked of how Keith was always such a hard worker and how handy that would come in for Danielle cause Keith would work hard to be a great husband and how great he would be working around the house! then he handed her a tablet labeled "Honey Do List"... he kind of brought it all together by talking of the riches of life and how they had found them in each other... there were parts in the speech that brought tears to my eyes because it was so touching, and parts that had us laughing out loud... hope this is helpful... Sounds like he did a grand job! How long was he talking for? I am thinking 5 minutes is about as long as i should speak for.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:33 PM
There might be some prewritten speeches online where all you have to do is insert the name. Thats exactly what i am trying to avoid (though thank you for suggesting it anyway!). I think if i did that it would be a very inpersoanl speech and would come across that way.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:34 PM
Thanks Deb! I am glad you have faith in me. I have known the groom for approaching 20 years, i should(hopefully) beable to add the sentimental side of things fairly easy. We have been through quite a lot together, so i must beable to come out with a couple of stories suitable. The BEST stories though are highly unsuitable! Like the time he got so drunk that he snogged a transvestite! haha I wish i could add that one in. Who needs jokes when you have material like that?! well, you could say how happy you are that he has found such a genuine woman!! Hahahaha!! Now that would be a good line if it wouldnt lead to his divorce the next day!

lighthouselover Joined Sun 10/14/07 Posts: 1100	Thu 04/09/09 08:36 PM
He talked for about 5 minutes...there is a lot you can say in 5 minutes...it is much longer than you think... read out loud for 5 minutes just to see how long it really is!! and you can use notes as well...many people do! better to have them.. a funny way to open the speech would be to pull out about 30 sheets of paper... I have also heard speeches where the best man had written the speech in a poem style...it was great!!

justme659 Joined Wed 10/03/07 Posts: 6144	Thu 04/09/09 08:38 PM
Stop being rotten! I need your help here! lol Ok, sorry, let me think............ Start with the usual, Friends and family, as we raise a glass to toast the bride and groom, lets give thanks its not us that has gotten married.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:42 PM
He talked for about 5 minutes...there is a lot you can say in 5 minutes...it is much longer than you think... read out loud for 5 minutes just to see how long it really is!! and you can use notes as well...many people do! better to have them.. a funny way to open the speech would be to pull out about 30 sheets of paper... I have also heard speeches where the best man had written the speech in a poem style...it was great!! I will most definately be using notes. I might even write the whole thing out word for word, but would try to do it mostly from memory so not to look like im just reading it. After i pull out the 30 sheets, i could say that because of the nerves this isnt the first time i have stood up from a warm seat with a load of paper in my hand.. I have thought adding in a poem, but my confidence steers me away from that.

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Thu 04/09/09 08:46 PM
Just with the little bit I know about you, I'm certain you'll have plenty of funny and touching stories to tell. Perhaps the ones involving touching should be limited. There's no magic pill for public speaking. But there's much going for you in this situation. These people didn't pay money to see a professional standup comic so they're likely to give you a little bit of leeway in the comedy department. Even something slightly amusing would pass. Also, know your speech well enough that you could likely do it without notes. But keep the notes just in case! The more you know the material the more comfortable you'll be with the delivery. And practice the delivery in front of a mirror or record it. So much of what you say is visual; body language, facial expressions, gestures, etc. Seeing them in a mirror can give you an idea of what works and what you need to not do. I don't know about with your group, but obscene gestures and cursing is a bit over the edge. When it comes down to it, if you speak from the heart it's all going to be fine anyhow. But like anything else, being prepared is really what will make you less stressed and more natural.

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Thu 04/09/09 08:47 PM
He talked for about 5 minutes...there is a lot you can say in 5 minutes...it is much longer than you think... read out loud for 5 minutes just to see how long it really is!! and you can use notes as well...many people do! better to have them.. a funny way to open the speech would be to pull out about 30 sheets of paper... I have also heard speeches where the best man had written the speech in a poem style...it was great!! I will most definately be using notes. I might even write the whole thing out word for word, but would try to do it mostly from memory so not to look like im just reading it. After i pull out the 30 sheets, i could say that because of the nerves this isnt the first time i have stood up from a warm seat with a load of paper in my hand.. I have thought adding in a poem, but my confidence steers me away from that. Limericks are always good for these occasions

justme659 Joined Wed 10/03/07 Posts: 6144	Thu 04/09/09 08:47 PM
He talked for about 5 minutes...there is a lot you can say in 5 minutes...it is much longer than you think... read out loud for 5 minutes just to see how long it really is!! and you can use notes as well...many people do! better to have them.. a funny way to open the speech would be to pull out about 30 sheets of paper... I have also heard speeches where the best man had written the speech in a poem style...it was great!! I will most definately be using notes. I might even write the whole thing out word for word, but would try to do it mostly from memory so not to look like im just reading it. After i pull out the 30 sheets, i could say that because of the nerves this isnt the first time i have stood up from a warm seat with a load of paper in my hand.. I have thought adding in a poem, but my confidence steers me away from that. Go for the poem. That sounds sweet.

lighthouselover Joined Sun 10/14/07 Posts: 1100	Thu 04/09/09 08:49 PM
oh, and Dan...probably the most important thing...no one is really going to give two shiats about you that day anyway...

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:50 PM
Stop being rotten! I need your help here! lol Ok, sorry, let me think............ Start with the usual, Friends and family, as we raise a glass to toast the bride and groom, lets give thanks its not us that has gotten married. OK now you are being more constructive! keep up the good work! haha

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:55 PM
Just with the little bit I know about you, I'm certain you'll have plenty of funny and touching stories to tell. Perhaps the ones involving touching should be limited. There's no magic pill for public speaking. But there's much going for you in this situation. These people didn't pay money to see a professional standup comic so they're likely to give you a little bit of leeway in the comedy department. Even something slightly amusing would pass. Also, know your speech well enough that you could likely do it without notes. But keep the notes just in case! The more you know the material the more comfortable you'll be with the delivery. And practice the delivery in front of a mirror or record it. So much of what you say is visual; body language, facial expressions, gestures, etc. Seeing them in a mirror can give you an idea of what works and what you need to not do. I don't know about with your group, but obscene gestures and cursing is a bit over the edge. When it comes down to it, if you speak from the heart it's all going to be fine anyhow. But like anything else, being prepared is really what will make you less stressed and more natural. Great advice there, thank you. You also just gave me some inspiration, i might beable to adapt your joke about the touching.. My 'group' is fine with obscenity, but yeah, its not suitable for a wedding. There will be kids and old people there. I can be slightly risque, but i know there is a line i could cross if i am not careful.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:56 PM
oh, and Dan...probably the most important thing...no one is really going to give two shiats about you that day anyway... Not even Lisa?! lol

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 08:57 PM
He talked for about 5 minutes...there is a lot you can say in 5 minutes...it is much longer than you think... read out loud for 5 minutes just to see how long it really is!! and you can use notes as well...many people do! better to have them.. a funny way to open the speech would be to pull out about 30 sheets of paper... I have also heard speeches where the best man had written the speech in a poem style...it was great!! I will most definately be using notes. I might even write the whole thing out word for word, but would try to do it mostly from memory so not to look like im just reading it. After i pull out the 30 sheets, i could say that because of the nerves this isnt the first time i have stood up from a warm seat with a load of paper in my hand.. I have thought adding in a poem, but my confidence steers me away from that. Limericks are always good for these occasions There was a man from Enis..

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 09:04 PM
'When Nick asked me to be his Best Man , it was one of the proudest moments ever. He said "Make it funny and tell some touching stories". There was me thinking his stories about touching were ones that i should avoid at a wedding! But he is the groom and i will do what he wants..' They were really only very minor incidents. Fortunately no minors were involved.. Hows that?

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 09:31 PM
Maybe pedo jokes arent suitable! lol

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Thu 04/09/09 09:41 PM
'When Nick asked me to be his Best Man , it was one of the proudest moments ever. He said "Make it funny and tell some touching stories". There was me thinking his stories about touching were ones that i should avoid at a wedding! But he is the groom and i will do what he wants..' They were really only very minor incidents. Fortunately no minors were involved.. Hows that? I'd use it.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Thu 04/09/09 09:48 PM
That may just make the final cut! Thanks for inspiring it!

Nyteflame Joined Sat 10/25/08 Posts: 338	Thu 04/09/09 11:05 PM
Short and humorous is best for almost any speech. as far as stage fright goes: direct what you are saying to the groom. Mostly face him. That way, you aren't staring at the crowd. Or, alternatively, you can direct it to the bride, as a warning about the groom :-)