100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Starting to get scared | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
I have no warm and fuzzy advice, nor do I have any great best man speech ideas... I'm just popping in to be a pain in your ass. Did you know that fear of public speaking is the #1 ranked fear worldwide.. even beating out fear of DEATH??? yeah man, good luck with that...  You'll be great. You are smart, you are funny and gosh darn it people like you. 
I didnt know that! Personally i fear death more though! Thanks Koury! You are too nice to me sometimes. Now get back to being a pain in my arse! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 I agree. You will do great. I can help edit your final speech if you need any help with that - I do it all day! 
Maybe i will post it here as i write it! We shall see! Thanks. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He's something i have written. Its not finished by a long shot, i just wanna test the reaction...
Nick must finally think that the suspicions of his homosexuality are going to fade now. He generally comes across as a very masculine man, but I lived with him for a time and picked up on some stuff. The Backstreet Boys cd collection was a small hint but the main giveaway was when he said to me’yanno Dan, we have be living together for a while, I think we should become Common Law partners’ I was pretty shocked by this and Nick must have seen the disgust on my face, and he tried to laugh it off, he then said it was just for ‘tax purposes’. I just told him to stop being silly and rolled over and went back to sleep. When Nick asked me to be his best man it was a real proud moment. He said to me ‘Make it funny and tell some touching stories’. There was me thinking that the touching stories were the ones I should keep out of my speech! But Nicks the groom its up to him! They were really only minor incidents, and fortunately, no minors were involved. He told me ‘don’t copy all that usual bollocks that everyone says in their best men speeches, all those clichéd lines, like the one about making the speech last as long as it takes the groom to make love, and then you say thank you and sit down. That wouldn’t be true any way as I hear it takes Nick at least half hour to get it up in the first place. Actually Nick recently asked me if I could get him some blue pills recently. Though that really wasn’t what I meant when I sad that im going soft in my old age. So I have pretty much steered away from the speech writing websites and the likes and have tried to write it on my own. So if its crap, he only has himself to blame. And as i cant steal all the jokes i will just use the material i got that is true, so when i embarrass him to death, thats all his fault as well. I was there the night Hannah and Nick met, it was at a club in London called Cargo. Nick was smooth that night, he caught her eye, gave her his trademark grin(yep thats the one) Walked up to her with confidence, bought her a rohypnol and coke, and the rest is history. What do you think? Too much? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You can all just say its crap if you like, its ok.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He's something i have written. Its not finished by a long shot, i just wanna test the reaction... Nick must finally think that the suspicions of his homosexuality are going to fade now. He generally comes across as a very masculine man, but I lived with him for a time and picked up on some stuff. The Backstreet Boys cd collection was a small hint but the main giveaway was when he said to me’yanno Dan, we have be living together for a while, I think we should become Common Law partners’ I was pretty shocked by this and Nick must have seen the disgust on my face, and he tried to laugh it off, he then said it was just for ‘tax purposes’. I just told him to stop being silly and rolled over and went back to sleep. When Nick asked me to be his best man it was a real proud moment. He said to me ‘Make it funny and tell some touching stories’. There was me thinking that the touching stories were the ones I should keep out of my speech! But Nicks the groom its up to him! They were really only minor incidents, and fortunately, no minors were involved. He told me ‘don’t copy all that usual bollocks that everyone says in their best men speeches, all those clichéd lines, like the one about making the speech last as long as it takes the groom to make love, and then you say thank you and sit down. That wouldn’t be true any way as I hear it takes Nick at least half hour to get it up in the first place. Actually Nick recently asked me if I could get him some blue pills recently. Though that really wasn’t what I meant when I sad that im going soft in my old age. So I have pretty much steered away from the speech writing websites and the likes and have tried to write it on my own. So if its crap, he only has himself to blame. And as i cant steal all the jokes i will just use the material i got that is true, so when i embarrass him to death, thats all his fault as well. I was there the night Hannah and Nick met, it was at a club in London called Cargo. Nick was smooth that night, he caught her eye, gave her his trademark grin(yep thats the one) Walked up to her with confidence, bought her a rohypnol and coke, and the rest is histor What do you think? Too much? Hilarious. Still crap, but very funny. I'd have tried to work in 'spooning' instead of 'rolling over', lol. But I'm a sick bastard. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He's something i have written. Its not finished by a long shot, i just wanna test the reaction... Nick must finally think that the suspicions of his homosexuality are going to fade now. He generally comes across as a very masculine man, but I lived with him for a time and picked up on some stuff. The Backstreet Boys cd collection was a small hint but the main giveaway was when he said to me’yanno Dan, we have be living together for a while, I think we should become Common Law partners’ I was pretty shocked by this and Nick must have seen the disgust on my face, and he tried to laugh it off, he then said it was just for ‘tax purposes’. I just told him to stop being silly and rolled over and went back to sleep. When Nick asked me to be his best man it was a real proud moment. He said to me ‘Make it funny and tell some touching stories’. There was me thinking that the touching stories were the ones I should keep out of my speech! But Nicks the groom its up to him! They were really only minor incidents, and fortunately, no minors were involved. He told me ‘don’t copy all that usual bollocks that everyone says in their best men speeches, all those clichéd lines, like the one about making the speech last as long as it takes the groom to make love, and then you say thank you and sit down. That wouldn’t be true any way as I hear it takes Nick at least half hour to get it up in the first place. Actually Nick recently asked me if I could get him some blue pills recently. Though that really wasn’t what I meant when I sad that im going soft in my old age. So I have pretty much steered away from the speech writing websites and the likes and have tried to write it on my own. So if its crap, he only has himself to blame. And as i cant steal all the jokes i will just use the material i got that is true, so when i embarrass him to death, thats all his fault as well. I was there the night Hannah and Nick met, it was at a club in London called Cargo. Nick was smooth that night, he caught her eye, gave her his trademark grin(yep thats the one) Walked up to her with confidence, bought her a rohypnol and coke, and the rest is histor What do you think? Too much? Hilarious. Still crap, but very funny. I'd have tried to work in 'spooning' instead of 'rolling over', lol. But I'm a sick bastard. Thanks, I'll think about that one. Clearly i am a sick bastard as well since i have made a gay, rape and pedo joke in this already! |
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
buttons
on
Tue 04/14/09 06:35 AM
|
|
You will do a wonderful speech because even though you will inject your wonderful humor into it, you will also speak from the heart. your words will be significant, I am not kidding about this...the speech that the best man gave at Danielle's wedding was incredible and was from the heart. He talked of their past time together...and where life has brought them...and then talked of the best wishes for the future! He also talked of when Danielle and Keith met...and had a couple of short stories about them as children...he got some info from us parents prior to the reception...it made the speech very meaningful and was truly from the heart!! the humor was light yet it was noticeable...which made it a great speech and not some pushing the limit of good taste thing that was meaningless... Good Luck!! Thanks Deb! I am glad you have faith in me. I have known the groom for approaching 20 years, i should(hopefully) beable to add the sentimental side of things fairly easy. We have been through quite a lot together, so i must beable to come out with a couple of stories suitable. The BEST stories though are highly unsuitable! Like the time he got so drunk that he snogged a transvestite! haha I wish i could add that one in. Who needs jokes when you have material like that?! how about.. in the past ive seen him date "all" types your glad that he has found a real woman to marry
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You will do a wonderful speech because even though you will inject your wonderful humor into it, you will also speak from the heart. your words will be significant, I am not kidding about this...the speech that the best man gave at Danielle's wedding was incredible and was from the heart. He talked of their past time together...and where life has brought them...and then talked of the best wishes for the future! He also talked of when Danielle and Keith met...and had a couple of short stories about them as children...he got some info from us parents prior to the reception...it made the speech very meaningful and was truly from the heart!! the humor was light yet it was noticeable...which made it a great speech and not some pushing the limit of good taste thing that was meaningless... Good Luck!! Thanks Deb! I am glad you have faith in me. I have known the groom for approaching 20 years, i should(hopefully) beable to add the sentimental side of things fairly easy. We have been through quite a lot together, so i must beable to come out with a couple of stories suitable. The BEST stories though are highly unsuitable! Like the time he got so drunk that he snogged a transvestite! haha I wish i could add that one in. Who needs jokes when you have material like that?! how about.. in the past ive seen him date "all" types your glad that he has found a real woman to marry
Thats not such a terrible idea. Thanks, i will consider that. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Another idea i had, which is definately too much, but i will share anyway.
Id start off looking at the couple, and say "when i was talking to people about how nervous i felt having to do this speech, they would tell me 'just imagine the crowd naked', i was going to do that but i noticed how many children were here today so i will just stare at the bride instead" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He's something i have written. Its not finished by a long shot, i just wanna test the reaction... Nick must finally think that the suspicions of his homosexuality are going to fade now. He generally comes across as a very masculine man, but I lived with him for a time and picked up on some stuff. The Backstreet Boys cd collection was a small hint but the main giveaway was when he said to me’yanno Dan, we have be living together for a while, I think we should become Common Law partners’ I was pretty shocked by this and Nick must have seen the disgust on my face, and he tried to laugh it off, he then said it was just for ‘tax purposes’. I just told him to stop being silly and rolled over and went back to sleep. When Nick asked me to be his best man it was a real proud moment. He said to me ‘Make it funny and tell some touching stories’. There was me thinking that the touching stories were the ones I should keep out of my speech! But Nicks the groom its up to him! They were really only minor incidents, and fortunately, no minors were involved. He told me ‘don’t copy all that usual bollocks that everyone says in their best men speeches, all those clichéd lines, like the one about making the speech last as long as it takes the groom to make love, and then you say thank you and sit down. That wouldn’t be true any way as I hear it takes Nick at least half hour to get it up in the first place. Actually Nick recently asked me if I could get him some blue pills recently. Though that really wasn’t what I meant when I sad that im going soft in my old age. So I have pretty much steered away from the speech writing websites and the likes and have tried to write it on my own. So if its crap, he only has himself to blame. And as i cant steal all the jokes i will just use the material i got that is true, so when i embarrass him to death, thats all his fault as well. I was there the night Hannah and Nick met, it was at a club in London called Cargo. Nick was smooth that night, he caught her eye, gave her his trademark grin(yep thats the one) Walked up to her with confidence, bought her a rohypnol and coke, and the rest is history. What do you think? Too much? I think its perfect babe! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
lmao just hint at it and let him sweat but not out right say it... u ill be grand wish i could go watch
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Something my best man did that still haunts me to this day, was to go; there are a lot of things this guy can't, he couldn't ring the bell, he couldn't dig up the dead dog... these are all references to actual serious lapses in judgement on my part and I actually knew what each reference was, I was turning purple and the party got really really quiet he ended it with a funny segue, but to this day, people bring that stuff up and all I can do now is laugh about, mainly as most of the statue of limitations have run out on those things.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He's something i have written. Its not finished by a long shot, i just wanna test the reaction... Nick must finally think that the suspicions of his homosexuality are going to fade now. He generally comes across as a very masculine man, but I lived with him for a time and picked up on some stuff. The Backstreet Boys cd collection was a small hint but the main giveaway was when he said to me’yanno Dan, we have be living together for a while, I think we should become Common Law partners’ I was pretty shocked by this and Nick must have seen the disgust on my face, and he tried to laugh it off, he then said it was just for ‘tax purposes’. I just told him to stop being silly and rolled over and went back to sleep. When Nick asked me to be his best man it was a real proud moment. He said to me ‘Make it funny and tell some touching stories’. There was me thinking that the touching stories were the ones I should keep out of my speech! But Nicks the groom its up to him! They were really only minor incidents, and fortunately, no minors were involved. He told me ‘don’t copy all that usual bollocks that everyone says in their best men speeches, all those clichéd lines, like the one about making the speech last as long as it takes the groom to make love, and then you say thank you and sit down. That wouldn’t be true any way as I hear it takes Nick at least half hour to get it up in the first place. Actually Nick recently asked me if I could get him some blue pills recently. Though that really wasn’t what I meant when I sad that im going soft in my old age. So I have pretty much steered away from the speech writing websites and the likes and have tried to write it on my own. So if its crap, he only has himself to blame. And as i cant steal all the jokes i will just use the material i got that is true, so when i embarrass him to death, thats all his fault as well. I was there the night Hannah and Nick met, it was at a club in London called Cargo. Nick was smooth that night, he caught her eye, gave her his trademark grin(yep thats the one) Walked up to her with confidence, bought her a rohypnol and coke, and the rest is history. What do you think? Too much? I think its perfect babe! Perfect is a pretty good response! Shame you are biased though! lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He's something i have written. Its not finished by a long shot, i just wanna test the reaction... Nick must finally think that the suspicions of his homosexuality are going to fade now. He generally comes across as a very masculine man, but I lived with him for a time and picked up on some stuff. The Backstreet Boys cd collection was a small hint but the main giveaway was when he said to me’yanno Dan, we have be living together for a while, I think we should become Common Law partners’ I was pretty shocked by this and Nick must have seen the disgust on my face, and he tried to laugh it off, he then said it was just for ‘tax purposes’. I just told him to stop being silly and rolled over and went back to sleep. When Nick asked me to be his best man it was a real proud moment. He said to me ‘Make it funny and tell some touching stories’. There was me thinking that the touching stories were the ones I should keep out of my speech! But Nicks the groom its up to him! They were really only minor incidents, and fortunately, no minors were involved. He told me ‘don’t copy all that usual bollocks that everyone says in their best men speeches, all those clichéd lines, like the one about making the speech last as long as it takes the groom to make love, and then you say thank you and sit down. That wouldn’t be true any way as I hear it takes Nick at least half hour to get it up in the first place. Actually Nick recently asked me if I could get him some blue pills recently. Though that really wasn’t what I meant when I sad that im going soft in my old age. So I have pretty much steered away from the speech writing websites and the likes and have tried to write it on my own. So if its crap, he only has himself to blame. And as i cant steal all the jokes i will just use the material i got that is true, so when i embarrass him to death, thats all his fault as well. I was there the night Hannah and Nick met, it was at a club in London called Cargo. Nick was smooth that night, he caught her eye, gave her his trademark grin(yep thats the one) Walked up to her with confidence, bought her a rohypnol and coke, and the rest is history. What do you think? Too much? I think its perfect babe! Perfect is a pretty good response! Shame you are biased though! lol I was being objective! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Something my best man did that still haunts me to this day, was to go; there are a lot of things this guy can't, he couldn't ring the bell, he couldn't dig up the dead dog... these are all references to actual serious lapses in judgement on my part and I actually knew what each reference was, I was turning purple and the party got really really quiet he ended it with a funny segue, but to this day, people bring that stuff up and all I can do now is laugh about, mainly as most of the statue of limitations have run out on those things. Silence is probably my biggest fear. I'll pay people to be noisy! I wanna make him cringe a little, but i know there is a line i shouldnt really cross. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Another idea i had, which is definately too much, but i will share anyway. Id start off looking at the couple, and say "when i was talking to people about how nervous i felt having to do this speech, they would tell me 'just imagine the crowd naked', i was going to do that but i noticed how many children were here today so i will just stare at the bride instead"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"dearly departed?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"dearly departed?" Another starter, which i didnt come up with myself. is FORNICATION....i mean, For an OCCASION... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Another idea i had, which is definately too much, but i will share anyway. Id start off looking at the couple, and say "when i was talking to people about how nervous i felt having to do this speech, they would tell me 'just imagine the crowd naked', i was going to do that but i noticed how many children were here today so i will just stare at the bride instead"
Do you think i could get away with that one? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nah.....!
|
|
|
|
|
