Topic: Why can't men be honest about what they are looking for?
gatkinson's photo
Mon 03/30/09 04:15 PM
Edited by gatkinson on Mon 03/30/09 04:16 PM
What do mean change my critera? I feel I put out there what I am looking for and they should learn to read what we are looking for and respect that.... when you message someone look at more then there pic... see what they have to say and what they are looking for!

talldub's photo
Mon 03/30/09 05:10 PM
I mean if every man you've met has done this to you as you claim then maybe you're part of the problem. Maybe you just make bad choices in men to trust and if you choose differently you might get different results.

ladywolf9653's photo
Mon 03/30/09 05:17 PM

I mean if every man you've met has done this to you as you claim then maybe you're part of the problem. Maybe you just make bad choices in men to trust and if you choose differently you might get different results.


Oh silly, silly man - you're asking WAY too much. Admit error AND accept responsibility? You can't possibly be serious, can you?

laugh

talldub's photo
Mon 03/30/09 05:23 PM


I mean if every man you've met has done this to you as you claim then maybe you're part of the problem. Maybe you just make bad choices in men to trust and if you choose differently you might get different results.


Oh silly, silly man - you're asking WAY too much. Admit error AND accept responsibility? You can't possibly be serious, can you?

laugh
Not really. Am expecting a victim statement any moment now.

ladywolf9653's photo
Mon 03/30/09 05:35 PM



I mean if every man you've met has done this to you as you claim then maybe you're part of the problem. Maybe you just make bad choices in men to trust and if you choose differently you might get different results.


Oh silly, silly man - you're asking WAY too much. Admit error AND accept responsibility? You can't possibly be serious, can you?

laugh
Not really. Am expecting a victim statement any moment now.



Wait wait wait....wanna take bets on the content of the victim statement?

canaryrx8's photo
Mon 03/30/09 06:45 PM


I mean if every man you've met has done this to you as you claim then maybe you're part of the problem. Maybe you just make bad choices in men to trust and if you choose differently you might get different results.


Oh silly, silly man - you're asking WAY too much. Admit error AND accept responsibility? You can't possibly be serious, can you?

laugh


no kidding, the nerve! bigsmile


ladywolf9653's photo
Mon 03/30/09 06:51 PM

no kidding, the nerve! bigsmile




Call me old fashioned, but I stick with the classics - the devil made me do it!!!!!! *grins*

I cannot resist, and I know I should. I need a mute button for my fingers *sigh*

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 03/30/09 07:36 PM
:angel:

ladywolf9653's photo
Mon 03/30/09 07:37 PM

:angel:


I keep trying to use that emoti, but it bursts into flames before I can post :(

beautyfrompain's photo
Mon 03/30/09 10:41 PM

Why is it men post they are looking for long term relationships, but only want a one nighter? I just want someone who is honest about what they are looking for why is that so difficult to find? I am looking for someone who is real, no games, no drama just pure hoensty... but is not cruel! Theres is a difference in being honest and just being rude.... rudeness is not necessary to be honest!


You can ask the same question about women.

nogames39's photo
Mon 03/30/09 11:03 PM
I've had a one-nighters and two and three-nighters, and then bailed. I never meant for it to be that way. I don't play games.

It's just that it become clear that it isn't working, that is all. If all I wanted was a one-nighter, then there are much easier ways to solve that, than dating.

I don't mean "look at yourself", but I am suggesting that there might be reasons, not just an intentional setup.

Good luck.

no photo
Tue 03/31/09 04:56 AM
All men are not pigs/jerks/etc etc and so on. I kind of have to agree with talldub here, if the same thing keeps happening, perhaps it IS you and your choices, not the men you meet. Take a step back, look at yourself and your decisions first and then regroup.
It's not easy, this dating thing, that's for sure, but I believe we all have personal accountability for our choices.
If I'm looking to get laid, I'm honest about it. If I'm looking for something more long term, I'm honest about that too. And having sex on the first date does not a whore make. I'm sick of hearing that mess. Gods on high, sometimes we need physical contact, and sometimes we just want sex. Women are just as...(god I hate the word guilty) guilty of that as men are. How many women here play the same game?
If you see a pattern that you don't like, change it, griping about it solves nothing.

Jess642's photo
Tue 03/31/09 04:58 AM

Why is it men post they are looking for long term relationships, but only want a one nighter? I just want someone who is honest about what they are looking for why is that so difficult to find? I am looking for someone who is real, no games, no drama just pure hoensty... but is not cruel! Theres is a difference in being honest and just being rude.... rudeness is not necessary to be honest!


Don't 'put out' on a first date.... it isn't rocket science.:wink:

talldub's photo
Tue 03/31/09 05:23 AM

All men are not pigs/jerks/etc etc and so on. I kind of have to agree with talldub here, if the same thing keeps happening, perhaps it IS you and your choices, not the men you meet. Take a step back, look at yourself and your decisions first and then regroup.
It's not easy, this dating thing, that's for sure, but I believe we all have personal accountability for our choices.
If I'm looking to get laid, I'm honest about it. If I'm looking for something more long term, I'm honest about that too. And having sex on the first date does not a whore make. I'm sick of hearing that mess. Gods on high, sometimes we need physical contact, and sometimes we just want sex. Women are just as...(god I hate the word guilty) guilty of that as men are. How many women here play the same game?
If you see a pattern that you don't like, change it, griping about it solves nothing.
For clarity here I'm not saying it's all her fault, but as i said, if the same thing keeps happening then maybe it's time to change tactics, so to speak.

no photo
Tue 03/31/09 05:29 AM
It's not about fault, or blame. It's about patterns.

talldub's photo
Tue 03/31/09 05:33 AM

It's not about fault, or blame. It's about patterns.
Right, but generalizing about the other sex and assuming a victim mentality won't help a person to see or break the patterns. Self reflection isn't always easy, it is necessary though.

TBRich's photo
Tue 03/31/09 08:12 AM
If I am not getting anywhere physical by the third date, then I start giving up and looking elsewhere.

gatkinson's photo
Tue 03/31/09 10:16 AM
Edited by gatkinson on Tue 03/31/09 10:19 AM
First of ALL for the PEOPLE who can't READ.... I DO NOT PUT OUT on the first date never and have never had a one night stand. I have good old time values. MOST.... not all men I date lately have been this way.... I have been married for 15 years before the last 3 years of being divorced. So I know who I am and what I am looking for and my personality....So before you start jumping on a ban wagon condemning me.... maybe ppl should talk to me and see all the good I do! I volunteer to teach ppl how to use the computer, volunteer at the library and volunteer my free time and help with the homeless. I donate time and money to buying things for less fortunite then I....not saying I am loaded but I would give up having some thing for me, if some else was in real need. I have worked in the medical field for 15 years taking care of ppl. I would give the shirt off my back for a total stranger. I was raised to respect myself and others! It takes men a month or more to get into my pants.

Pink_lady's photo
Tue 03/31/09 10:26 AM
Edited by Pink_lady on Tue 03/31/09 10:29 AM

First of ALL for the PEOPLE who can't READ.... I DO NOT PUT OUT on the first date never and have never had a one night stand. I have good old time values. MOST.... not all men I date lately have been this way.... I have been married for 15 years before the last 3 years of being divorced. So I know who I am and what I am looking for and my personality....So before you start jumping on a ban wagon condemning me.... maybe ppl should talk to me and see all the good I do! I volunteer to teach ppl how to use the computer, volunteer at the library and volunteer my free time and help with the homeless. I donate time and money to buying things for less fortunite then I....not saying I am loaded but I would give up having some thing for me, if some else was in real need. I have worked in the medical field for 15 years taking care of ppl. I would give the shirt off my back for a total stranger. I was raised to respect myself and others! It takes men a month or more to get into my pants.


I dont think thats wat some folks have been trying to point out to you, i think u have misinterpreted wat was said. I think some have been trying to say to u that u possibly attract the wrong type....not cos u 'put out', but maybe cos of some other reason. The point was, rather than look at the men, look at wat ur usual routine is with dating, use ur hindsight to see wat may have misdirected the relationships. Maybe ur attracted to a story teller? maybe u appreciate qualities in men that arent particularly suited to ur own needs?

Ultimately, we must all take responsibility for our own relationships, we chose them, so we cant blame them really can we? we can only strive to not make repeated mistakes by analysing our own behaviour and attitude.

gatkinson's photo
Tue 03/31/09 12:16 PM


Why is it men post they are looking for long term relationships, but only want a one nighter? I just want someone who is honest about what they are looking for why is that so difficult to find? I am looking for someone who is real, no games, no drama just pure hoensty... but is not cruel! Theres is a difference in being honest and just being rude.... rudeness is not necessary to be honest!


Don't 'put out' on a first date.... it isn't rocket science.:wink:


Since you can't seem to read, I thought I should point out that several times during this blog I states I DO NOT PUT OUT!!!! I have real valvues and belive in waiting! I am saying men put I am looking for long term relationships and when they don't get sex that night they play the game. Yes I know not all men are this way!!! I am learning that I think I rather go back to just not looking and being happy then trying find a real man in the messed up world!!