....a desperate means to an end?



Just wondered, is all...

This is a private survey of who really is satisfied with one-off throw away comments, or prefers quasi intelligent conversation.

It doesn't have to be quantum physics, but something a little more viable and tangible than "What brand of refrigerator do you have?" would be nice.

Umm, have to say it depends. Sometimes, all I'm up for is a little light banter, other times, I want more. Lately, my life has been filled with enough drama and I don't want/need more here on the forums, so just trying to lighten myself up by not thinking about any more than I already have to.

So how to create this?

How to enter into as real a conversation as possible, (with what we have to work with), that can meander and move into different areas, without the threat of being accused as off topic?


I hear you Suz, you know me well enough to know I flit into and out of light and fluffy, to deep and meaningful...


It feels that there is no space for deep and meaningful within the forums anymore...

Even intelligent humour, which uses wit, and word wizardry, is accused of being sarcastic and cutting.

If I was to be choosing to use this site to date, it would be paramount, that I learn the deeper side of someone I was interested in... anyone can shoot off a lame one liner.... I wonder how many have the guts to show more substance...

Not only that, but many conversations here simply cannot be kept civil. Starts out ok, maybe, but more often than not, degenerates into into verbal abuse simply because two (or more) people have differing views. People do not know how to disagree, nor keep an open mind. They are right, you are wrong and if you disagree, they're going to attempt to bully you into agreeing. Makes you wonder what they're like in "real" life.

I found, when I was looking, that if someone made an interesting comment in the forums, that for me, it was best pursued privately. So many put up an incomplete version of themselves, not necessarily not real, but only showing one aspect. Fear of putting themselves out there so publicly? Confidence in only one area of their personality? Shyness? No clue. And, then, with some, what you saw was what you got, no more substance than a one-liner. And I need substance

Depends on the mood I'm in or if you intrest me

I blame this on the political correctness movement. Everybody thinks they deserve to be babied and coddled nowadays, for fear of getting their little feelers hurt.

Sounds crass, but completely true. The level of humor deficiency in the world today is astronomical. It seems that nobody realizes that nobody has the right to NOT be "offended".

JMO

intelligent conversation is always good...rare,but good but sometimes an off-the-cuff snide remark will put someone in their place be seeing you

Very true gossipmpm....the topic has to be interesting, and be in the mood for deeper convos.


Suz....I can recall not so long ago in the past, amazing threads that went on and on for pages, that started out fairly simple, and developed so many side notes, complexities, and interesting convos... sometimes threefold, fourfold, between different people, sometimes on completely different subjects simultaneously.


What happened?

They got replaced by, "What are you listening to right now, Part 846".

Not being familiar with the nuances of political correctness, especially within another country's culture, I don't notice it as offensive.

It is actually a great indicator of a person's self esteem as to how they receive a humourous rebuttal, or jibe...

I notice those that can 'handle' a joke... and am more drawn to posting in the threads they are in, as they are much more attractive to me.

Again, as a dating site, how a person travels in conversations with others, how they handle humour, would be important to me, to help learn more about the person.

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight.
John F. Kennedy

No... it's a safe place to go... and Luis has been doing those threads for years, it IS a part of who he is...and when the forums are total crap... I head to there to find out what new or different music is about...

many of my friends here have sought out aussie music/musicians I post in there... to find some they really like.

It's a public service that thread, in my eyes.

a nice mixture

You know, I don't know, I remember many as well. And, I hear so many say things have changed so much, and others say, nope it's same old same old. I think it's changed, and not necessarily for the better, but I wonder sometimes if it's simply my perception that's changed? One thing I've noticed that I don't like is that there seems to be so much more "elitism." When I first started coming on the forums, I could jump into any topic and feel welcome. People would actually say something to comments. Now, in many threads, if you're not (and I really hate using this particular cliche) part of the "in crowd," you're more often than not ignored completely or ridiculed. And while this doesn't bother me, I know it bothers many on here, both longtimers and newbies. I see it as closing off your heart and mind to so many new possibilities, and not just romantically. We all have something valuable to offer, and maybe it is out of your realm of experience but I just don't understand why people feel the need to limit themselves? This is a huge world we live in, the more we know, the easier it is to navigate and it gives us more opportunity to create a better world. The more we understand others, the more we understand ourselves and our world.

DO you mean 'a snide off the cuff remark, will put someone in there place' as it would 'shut them down'... so they wouldn't continue with the conversation?

If that be the case, then straight away, that person has some self esteem stuff going on.

Anyone can say anything they choose to say to me.. I know who I am... most times I would agree with someone attempting to be cutting... I don't have a thin skin.

It depends on my mood. If I'm not in the mood for people arguing, I'll stay out of the more serious threads. Some threads would be more interesting if people could stop the arguing and insulting for at least a little bit, but unfortunately, some people will look for any reason to do that.

'Twas only using that as an example. I was meaning a thread that goes into Part (whatever), and has really nothing to do with what the thread actually started out as anymore (also just using a thread of this caliber as only an example).

Yeah, I don't think that's a bad thread at all. I don't post often there, but I like to find out what other people listen to.

in this day and age of instant gratification,people do not want to think...they want simple questions to which they can give quick answers the art of conversation is dying PC is killing any and all forms of intelligent conversation...and one day "Our Great Society" will crash and burn and we will be back to writing on cave walls...maybe for the better be seeing you