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| Topic: When did "charming" become a bad thing? | |
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i think that happened around the same time chivalry became creepy.
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With these type of posts, I am learning more and more to quit with the "charm." In other words, you can't be yourself even if you are a genuine charmer. Kinda sucks really. oh that's it.. let the jerks win. It shows a lot more courage and strength to stay strong in good qualities even though many jerks have messed it up along the way than just being real to begin with.  yea I understand, but why be at the losing end of it all, when the girls themselves say they don't like a charming guy? What doesn't work doesn't work. There may be one or two out there somewhere that like to be "charmed," but most that say they do, start do doubt your interest, and think your trying to prove yourself. That was what my last girlfriend said to me " it seems like your always trying to prove yourself" Of course, I was just being me, and hadn't a clue what she was talking about. But I gotta learn something from these mistakes. Never again will I suggest a "fancy" restaurant. Just a mediocre one. Never again will I tell someone how much they mean to me, and how much I care for them and all that unless asked. What women want is honesty and respect. Be polite. Don't poor on the charm to make an impression one day and be a jerk after she gets to know you better. If you are a naturally charming guy all the time, that is wonderful, as long as that is your true natural self. It works both ways. Women play the game of charm too impress a guy too. Then one day he wakes up with a b*tchy nag or a complaining whiner. Just be yourself and hope someone can put up with you. LOL 
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With these type of posts, I am learning more and more to quit with the "charm." In other words, you can't be yourself even if you are a genuine charmer. Kinda sucks really. oh that's it.. let the jerks win. It shows a lot more courage and strength to stay strong in good qualities even though many jerks have messed it up along the way than just being real to begin with. yea I understand, but why be at the losing end of it all, when the girls themselves say they don't like a charming guy? What doesn't work doesn't work. There may be one or two out there somewhere that like to be "charmed," but most that say they do, start do doubt your interest, and think your trying to prove yourself. That was what my last girlfriend said to me " it seems like your always trying to prove yourself" Of course, I was just being me, and hadn't a clue what she was talking about. But I gotta learn something from these mistakes. Never again will I suggest a "fancy" restaurant. Just a mediocre one. Never again will I tell someone how much they mean to me, and how much I care for them and all that unless asked. What women want is honesty and respect. Be polite. Don't poor on the charm to make an impression one day and be a jerk after she gets to know you better. If you are a naturally charming guy all the time, that is wonderful, as long as that is your true natural self. It works both ways. Women play the game of charm too impress a guy too. Then one day he wakes up with a b*tchy nag or a complaining whiner. Just be yourself and hope someone can put up with you. LOL that is the answer and the problem all mixed into one. Maybe people should just lay it on the line when they first meet. Say "listen, in order to deal with me, your going to have to except compliments, and be willing to be treated like a princess. If you don't like that, you won't like me." Then see what she says.. Just a thought. An insane self destructive thought, but one nevertheless.
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Some guys do say that and I've yet to see it... but I keep hope alive
 Everyone's most likely a jerk to someone at one time or another. Eventually you find someone that makes you want to be sweet, and that's how you know they're for you. Or maybe not. Maybe they're just there to help you hone your skills. |
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I agree...'charming' like a spell caster/magic maker instead of genuinely nice. Funny how words change over time and in various ways of use!
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Edited by
citygurl
on
Fri 02/27/09 10:15 PM
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I like charming..
 I also like that I know when it's sincere or not |
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With these type of posts, I am learning more and more to quit with the "charm." In other words, you can't be yourself even if you are a genuine charmer. Kinda sucks really. oh that's it.. let the jerks win. It shows a lot more courage and strength to stay strong in good qualities even though many jerks have messed it up along the way than just being real to begin with. yea I understand, but why be at the losing end of it all, when the girls themselves say they don't like a charming guy? What doesn't work doesn't work. There may be one or two out there somewhere that like to be "charmed," but most that say they do, start do doubt your interest, and think your trying to prove yourself. That was what my last girlfriend said to me " it seems like your always trying to prove yourself" Of course, I was just being me, and hadn't a clue what she was talking about. But I gotta learn something from these mistakes. Never again will I suggest a "fancy" restaurant. Just a mediocre one. Never again will I tell someone how much they mean to me, and how much I care for them and all that unless asked. What women want is honesty and respect. Be polite. Don't poor on the charm to make an impression one day and be a jerk after she gets to know you better. If you are a naturally charming guy all the time, that is wonderful, as long as that is your true natural self. It works both ways. Women play the game of charm too impress a guy too. Then one day he wakes up with a b*tchy nag or a complaining whiner. Just be yourself and hope someone can put up with you. LOL that is the answer and the problem all mixed into one. Maybe people should just lay it on the line when they first meet. Say "listen, in order to deal with me, your going to have to except compliments, and be willing to be treated like a princess. If you don't like that, you won't like me." Then see what she says.. Just a thought. An insane self destructive thought, but one nevertheless. That would really turn me on.  Good approach. You should try it. 
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Note to self. Never be charming. Just stay your obnoxious self.... Yep. May as well just be a jackass. We men have so many strikes against us before we even get up to bat that it's a wonder anyone ever manages to find anyone else these days. |
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Note to self. Never be charming. Just stay your obnoxious self.... Yep. May as well just be a jackass. We men have so many strikes against us before we even get up to bat that it's a wonder anyone ever manages to find anyone else these days. Sorry that does not work either. Jackasses are a dime a dozen. You just need to show some respect for others.. (not just some woman you are trying to impress... all others) and show some confidence in yourself, and go about your business and you will attract women. |
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I avoid any man who openly disrespects women in general. I may be alone on this. This may not be important to some women. |
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Note to self. Never be charming. Just stay your obnoxious self.... Yep. May as well just be a jackass. We men have so many strikes against us before we even get up to bat that it's a wonder anyone ever manages to find anyone else these days. Cynicism: When positivity was thrown out the window upon meeting. 
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I have said, 'My aren't you charming" when someone approached me in ways I felt were on the surface perhaps friendly and maybe even playful but that had a sort of creepy undertone.
When I have used the word charming in a negative way or sarcastic way it's usually only in person. Charming when properly done is playful, positive and flattering. It get's my attention but charm is usually only an initial part of attraction that needs to be slowly replaced with chemistry sharing, openness, honesty and content of character. |
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Well let's hope that someday you ladies meet a "sincere" charming man. As I will keep looking for that "sincere" honest woman. We all have faults and all have been burned. What defines us will be whether or not we harbor any ill feelings about what has happened to us. Leery ? maybe.. But I will keep my heart and mind open and trust till proven diferently by them.  Charming can mean alot of things. Do they make you smile? Or as already said, do they try and make you do their bidding? Baggage from past relationships can be sooooo tough to lose. In fact, the older I get the more I realize; if you can unpack some of that baggage, and downsize it from 12 pc matching to a duffel and a carryon, you are doing great! |
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They just want in our pants...been that way since the dawn of time.
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They just want in our pants...been that way since the dawn of time. I don't know why they never fit |
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They just want in our pants...been that way since the dawn of time. Plane trip-$208 Hotel room-$39.99 each night for 7 nights=$279.93 Food, drinks, and whatever-$150 Total-$637.93 Prostitute-$50 ...Surely there is an easier way... |
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They just want in our pants...been that way since the dawn of time. Great attitude to go into a relationship with. |
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They just want in our pants...been that way since the dawn of time. Plane trip-$208 Hotel room-$39.99 each night for 7 nights=$279.93 Food, drinks, and whatever-$150 Total-$637.93 Prostitute-$50 ...Surely there is an easier way... 
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thanks for the tip.. i will never be charming or witty or respectfull again
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They just want in our pants...been that way since the dawn of time. |
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