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| Topic: When did "charming" become a bad thing? | |
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It used to be that if a man was charming, it was a positive characteristic.
But from personal experience, the men that are charming turn out to be the manipulators, the liars, the users... I now instinctively distrust anyone what comes off as charming. Doesn't mean I want to be treated badly. But if someone is too charming, I start thinking he is too smooth and he must be up to something. Hope I'm not the only one... |
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Edited by
heartSoul
on
Fri 02/27/09 04:40 PM
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You are not alone
My "ex" was charming. He could make you believe anything he wanted you to believe. I called him, "charming with a motive". There may be others that are charming without motive, but I haven't met one as of yet?!? |
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It used to be that if a man was charming, it was a positive characteristic. But from personal experience, the men that are charming turn out to be the manipulators, the liars, the users... I now instinctively distrust anyone what comes off as charming. Doesn't mean I want to be treated badly. But if someone is too charming, I start thinking he is too smooth and he must be up to something. Hope I'm not the only one... You have learned well young jedi. |
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You are not alone My "ex" was charming. He could make you believe anything he wanted you to believe. I called him, "charming with a motive". There may be others that are charming without motive, but I haven't met one as of yet?!? Thought it was just me -- my ex and your's must be related. Now I know two women who feel this way. It just sucks. |
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It used to be that if a man was charming, it was a positive characteristic. But from personal experience, the men that are charming turn out to be the manipulators, the liars, the users... I now instinctively distrust anyone what comes off as charming. Doesn't mean I want to be treated badly. But if someone is too charming, I start thinking he is too smooth and he must be up to something. Hope I'm not the only one...  I have often been called "charming"
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I like charming people, but I don't trust them. 
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You are not alone My "ex" was charming. He could make you believe anything he wanted you to believe. I called him, "charming with a motive". There may be others that are charming without motive, but I haven't met one as of yet?!? Same here. "Ex" is a charming, bible verse spouting hypocrite and a master manipulator. He loves to hear himself talk and seems to "believe" whatever it is he is talking about enough to convince his listening audience. He has pulled the wool over many eyes and even won the heart of one of my "friends". I was fooled for years and then let him talk me out of what I was seeing with my own eyes. I believed in him and his church and allowed myself to be a submissive doormat. I am thankful for the strength it took to get out of that relationship and am more healthy because of it. Unfortunately 25 years of such garbage has definitely caused a lack of trust in males, in general. I have been told they are not all like that, but, have yet to meet someone to prove that belief wrong. |
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Well let's hope that someday you ladies meet a "sincere" charming man. As I will keep looking for that "sincere" honest woman.
We all have faults and all have been burned. What defines us will be whether or not we harbor any ill feelings about what has happened to us. Leery ? maybe.. But I will keep my heart and mind open and trust till proven diferently by them. 
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well, chameleons are good color changers now aren't they?
ya have to get to know the creature before you really see it. Free means strings attached! All people harbor a certain amount of self interest. And what you see is not necessarily what you get. Most princes are fake! And many kings are wannabees! So now if you will excuse me I have a tiny little kingdom to run. Ta ta! 
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It used to be that if a man was charming, it was a positive characteristic. But from personal experience, the men that are charming turn out to be the manipulators, the liars, the users... I now instinctively distrust anyone what comes off as charming. Doesn't mean I want to be treated badly. But if someone is too charming, I start thinking he is too smooth and he must be up to something. Hope I'm not the only one... I have often been called "charming" You are a sweetie. That's totally different from "charming". |
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You are not alone My "ex" was charming. He could make you believe anything he wanted you to believe. I called him, "charming with a motive". There may be others that are charming without motive, but I haven't met one as of yet?!? Thought it was just me -- my ex and your's must be related. Now I know two women who feel this way. It just sucks. Sucks, is an understatement... They probably are related.. It's a shame, a darn shame |
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Note to self. Never be charming. Just stay your obnoxious self....
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You are not alone My "ex" was charming. He could make you believe anything he wanted you to believe. I called him, "charming with a motive". There may be others that are charming without motive, but I haven't met one as of yet?!? Same here. "Ex" is a charming, bible verse spouting hypocrite and a master manipulator. He loves to hear himself talk and seems to "believe" whatever it is he is talking about enough to convince his listening audience. He has pulled the wool over many eyes and even won the heart of one of my "friends". I was fooled for years and then let him talk me out of what I was seeing with my own eyes. I believed in him and his church and allowed myself to be a submissive doormat. I am thankful for the strength it took to get out of that relationship and am more healthy because of it. Unfortunately 25 years of such garbage has definitely caused a lack of trust in males, in general. I have been told they are not all like that, but, have yet to meet someone to prove that belief wrong. I wonder if these guys hang out in the same circles? It does make it difficult to trust again... |
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Note to self. Never be charming. Just stay your obnoxious self.... you??? obnoxious??? no way! |
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As with any other good traits, there are perverse or opposite versions of the motives. It doesn't mean that all charmers are users or manipulators, it just means that a good majority of them have ruined it for the truly pure ones.
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With these type of posts, I am learning more and more to quit with the "charm." In other words, you can't be yourself even if you are a genuine charmer. Kinda sucks really.
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With these type of posts, I am learning more and more to quit with the "charm." In other words, you can't be yourself even if you are a genuine charmer. Kinda sucks really. oh that's it.. let the jerks win. It shows a lot more courage and strength to stay strong in good qualities even though many jerks have messed it up along the way than just being real to begin with. 
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With these type of posts, I am learning more and more to quit with the "charm." In other words, you can't be yourself even if you are a genuine charmer. Kinda sucks really. oh that's it.. let the jerks win. It shows a lot more courage and strength to stay strong in good qualities even though many jerks have messed it up along the way than just being real to begin with. yea I understand, but why be at the losing end of it all, when the girls themselves say they don't like a charming guy? What doesn't work doesn't work. There may be one or two out there somewhere that like to be "charmed," but most that say they do, start do doubt your interest, and think your trying to prove yourself. That was what my last girlfriend said to me " it seems like your always trying to prove yourself" Of course, I was just being me, and hadn't a clue what she was talking about. But I gotta learn something from these mistakes. Never again will I suggest a "fancy" restaurant. Just a mediocre one. Never again will I tell someone how much they mean to me, and how much I care for them and all that unless asked. |
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and bigger gets the pool of angry bitter single people
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and bigger gets the pool of angry bitter single people indeed....that that did sound a bit bitter didn't it?
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