Yeah. Drop the hoochie and go find someone else more worthy of your presence. Worrying about stuff won't get you out of your hole. The ship has passed and there's nothing you can do about it.

I still say move on. She's not the only woman on the planet. There's 19 billion more of them out there........waiting to screw you over, lie to you, take everything you own, and then boot you to the curb. Good luck.

Ok did I miss something?

This woman was mature enough to tell you from the very beginning that she had NO INTEREST in a relationship but if you wanted to be friends fine.

She made no sexual ovatures towards you. Clearly a plutonic relationship from what you describe.

She introduced you to her family and friends as a friend only.

When you enjoyed being with her she did not take advantage of you and reciprocated your friendship and included you in her interests and as a guest to her home. Yes as a friend even confided to you like a loyal friend would.

Sounds like she let you hang around because you asked to or just wouldn't take no for and answer. Maybe she thought you were lonely. If you could not find one day to entertain yourself on your own it sounds like it.

What do you expect her parents to say to you when you are constantly there and sucking up to them with gifts and invitations? And keeping their daughter out of there hair or at least too busy to be available for her Ex.

Were you not the one who lied about the relationship? You told her you were willing to be friends and for weeks you have been lobbying to entrench yourself in her life if I understand what you said.

Then when she was not suspecting what you were doing because you had not tried it or even mention it you want to turn the tables.

Personaly I think she has made herself crystal clear. She told you to get lost. She is ignoreing your calls.

And just because you want it otherwise isn't going to make it so. You can infer whatever you want about being a gentleman but it doesn't qualify.

Since this girl doesn't sound like the type to put up with a lot you might want to take a chill pill. Or rather than whineing on the computer you are lible to find yourself in front of a judge.

And that crap about a kiss by a set number of dates is baloney. If a woman is interested in you she will tell you. She shouldn't have to prove anything.

Wheather you grow up enough to have and honest relationship is your choice. What you can count on if you don't is when the woman figures you out you are going to get dumped over and over again.

you were the rebound friend

I read your initial post, and after you said that she was coming after a bad relationship, I needed to read no further. Anything you were thinking of (beyond friendship) was likely doomed from the onset. Your wanting a relationship with her was analogous to asking a recent plane crash survivor to fly again.

There are better fish in the sea. Apparently she is not mature enough to tell you, even though you completely misunderstood her signals. Common decency would have told her to at least tell you that she was not interested in the same way you were. Knowing that you care for her, it would seem childish on her part to just completely cut you off. In cases when I could not return affections towards me (the i.e. I was not interested), I at least kept the women as friends. Unless you were reaching the stalker/creepy category (which is possible), It makes no sense to burn your bridges.

If I were you, I'd delete EVERYTHING regarding this woman. She has already shown you that she doesn't want to see you - ever. he used you for a purpose (which is over now), and it is terrible that someone like you had to be ensnared by her. She's not mature/stable enough to be in a relationship right now. If she wants to talk to you she has your number and she'll call (but I doubt it). She is not worth your time and effort. Good luck!

There are so many things wrong with your response it makes me sick...Ive gotten good advice from everyone thus far, whether I liked to hear it or not...
as far as your take on it, there is alot you DONT know. You make it sound like I would call her 24/7 and beg to be with her...not true at all. she asked me to dinner/drinks/asked to sleep at MY house/etc/etc. yes I called her too, but dont make it sound so 1 sided. There was a night I was going to meet MY friends at the bar and she asked to come along...who knows, maybe YOU sleep with all your friends too?
I dont recall ever saying I showered her parents with gifts. I mainly get along with them because when we have a few beers together we laugh and talk about everything under the sun.
the whole "judge" comment makes no sense whatever. Unless you are refering to me "stalking" her, I dont think one phone call fits into that category
I'd also like to know what your definition of an "honest" relationship is. I never lied to her, I was a gentleman, I didn't know from the beginning I was going to fall for her, and when the feelings built up I told her. My feelings for her went from friends to wanting more, so why is it sooooo wrong in your opinion for me to think there is a chance hers might have too?
I have alot of friends, many of them are women, but we dont talk about half the things me and her did, they never sleep over, we dont go out to dinner 3 nights a week, and so on. I'm not pissed at her, I respect her reasoning whatever it is, all I want from her is for HER to tell me. Guess that makes me an ass...

I believe I said "no hurry". she never said NO INTEREST. I took "no hurry" as dont be pushy, lets see wher this goes?

so still no return call?been wondering

lol not yet, I will let you know if it happens!

You have been the 'nice guy' too long. The word 'love' scares the hell out of her. There are hidden meanings in that word that come with all kinds of responsibilities and attachments. She needs to have her freedom and get to know herself. She does not want to go from one man telling her what to do or how to live her life to another one. (And they do, I don't care what you say.)

If you think she is afraid of marriage or getting too involved, just tell her she is driving you crazy and you have to have her, and plant a passionate kiss on her, (but only if the chemistry is there.)

But I would suggest that the chemistry is not there anyway because you have kept your hands to yourself for too long. If there was any chemistry between the two of you, you would have jumped in the sack on the second date if not the first.

Here is my advice. Find someone else. Someone who really turns you on. She obviously doesn't.

Women want to be desired. I bet she does not feel desired when she is with you because you are too much of a gentleman. You probably couldn't turn her on now if you tried.

Find someone else. You may discover that when you do, her interest in you may return.

There are a few things that could have happened and a few things that you might try if you want to get her to talk to you again.

First, she could have out you into the friends section of her mind. However, spending the night and intimate conversation (like opening up) crosses that line I believe. So I hate to say that she might have used your kindness as a way to fill loneliness. And because women need to talk when they are feeling bad, Im guessing it was your shoulder that she picked to cry on. After I got out of my first big relationship, I would have given anything for a close guy friend to make me feel better....some women can take that to the extreme and end up using a guy without wanted to get involved (seriously confusing him).

Second, she might have been scared by your emotions. I wouldn't think this would be the case, because women have an extra sense about them when they know a guy is into them (or at least I do...I guess I'm really giving this from my perspective, other women may disagree)

Either way, I would suggest try trying to get a hold of her one last time to say something like:

"I'm sorry if my feelings scared you, but I trusted you to hear them. I feel very comfortable around you and I thought that you would understand. I know you have some other feelings to work through regarding your last boyfriend and I respect that. Please just understand that I valued our friendship and respect you greatly. If there is a reason you would not like to talk to me again, please tell me fully so that I understand where you are coming from and may continue to respect you. However I only ask that you respect me in return too."


or

"I have valued the time we have spent together because you are a (blank: here is where you can tell her complimenting things so encase it was her self esteem, you are helping her) person. However, I feel abandoned and hurt by your refusal to talk to me after I was open with you. I dont expect you to have to act on my feelings, but I would really appreciate an explanation. I respect you and only wish to know where you are coming from so that I can understand you."


Just ask what you want to by being open and direct with how you feel. If she cant give you any reason after you were there for her, then I'm guessing you might have been a post-breakup ego boost...(and I dont mean to insult your female, Im just giving you my side)

periods and mood swings my grnd..hapens 2 al girls

Because, you wouldn't do her for so long, she has gotten tired of waiting.

She told you that she doesn't want the relationship, right? (Meaning: - "do me, but don't you think I am easy, instead, do me against my supposed wishes, it is going to be your fault".)

You didn't do her.

She had to find someone she doesn't realy enjoy that much as she would you.

Now, that you have been placed on the "ball-less men to be used and never deserve to be laid" (friends) list, you tell her you "L" her.

Why wouldn't she be mad?

itz over dude

Ditto, she isn't ready for you, or anyone like you right now. You should move on. I know how it is to be in your situation (its not fun). She isn't going to call you.

But you will find someone else, that I can be sure about. You're only delaying that if you wait around for this woman to come back.

She called me toaday in case you all were wondering

and?

We will try to be friends for now, she has other issues in her life that need to be addressed before she wants to date anyone. It will be interesting how this all plays out, but for now I wold rather it be that way than not talk to her at all

Good to hear that you got an answer.

Thanks shortie lol