Well it just seems to me that FWB shouldn't do things that friends don't do.

I mean, I don't buy my friends champagne if it's not a special occasion. Also, he never cooked for me before, so that is unusual. I was ok with pizza or chinese. Plus the L thing, well should I have addressed it?

Here is the thing, I don't want anything to change.

AHHHH Grasshopper......



the one constant in life is that there will be change....



Just enjoy the "ride"....

NO.

This guy is an emotional trainwreck. If I reciprocate he will pull away. I am not even sure I want him, he is pretty messed up. Nor am I sure, even if he thinks he loves me, if he wants me.

I am content with my Friday night fix. I get only a few hours of sleep and I'm quite satisfied.

i have not attempted it. FWB is someone you like,
but you are not in love with. they agree to treat
you with respect but not to love you. you both
agree to have sex for the sake of a biological but
unemotional experience repeatedly.

this reduces sex to masturbation. mutual masturbation
but with the unnatural and unsatisfying promise of
emotional uninvolvement.

there is a school of thought that this is better
than going solo all the time. but not for me. the
whole experience is essentially hollow. even more
empty that fantasies. because it involves another
person. another person who is committed to going
nowhere.

that is what i understand. that is why i always
avoided it. i crave the emotional experience.

what nis lovemaking with out the love? it is kind touch.
but the necessary agreement that it go no further
removes essentially all the real excitement.

at this point in time i would refer back to master splinter, he always has great advice,



or Wilson, from tool time,

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

Friends with Guacamole - It's always good to bring the chips if they are sporting the Guac..

As Redd and others have relayed it seems as though he is starting to get emotionally involved... Which is usually the case in FWB if you stay in it for awhile... One or the other will start to develope feelings.. Which is normal... I think FWB"s are fine if you both can stick to your guns about trying not to entangle your emotions into it.. ...and if you both do decide to become a couple then all the better... As for him saying he loved you,, it could have been the alcohol talking to.. Sometimes you get caught up in the moment when you share such lust... I would ask him about it in a kind way...

Keep things where you want them.
Do NOT bring up the remark.
Accept what he does, as it is what he wants to do.
If he tries to push closer, TELL him your boundaries.
Keep control where you want it.

having an FWB or being an FWB is no big deal...it's 2 consenting adults who enjoy each others friendship,enjoy each other sexualy but don't want to get bogged down with the emotions of love(if there is even such a thing as love) uptight "moral" people seem to get upset with the fact that there are people who are FWBs probably because everytime these people have had sex they attached "love" to it and were let down in the end be seeing you

Lilith Ive done it in the past. I know I have mentioned it on another thread a while back but Im not digging it up again. I did it while I was in college and studying for my Bachelor of Science. I was EXTREMELY busy with course study, working and also I did some volunteer work. I had a tight schedule to say the least.

Did that mean that my physical needs would somehow magically vanish on their own?

Hardly.

The gentleman I had made this arrangement with worked and lived on a commercial fishing boat. Of course we had nothing in common. He was functionally illiterate. There was no way we would be compatible beyond a strictly physical relationship.

I had the ability to contact him when needed and he was forbidden from initiating any of our meetings. We met on the boat and I would stay with him there. No one ever knew or discovered.

This went on for months. No problems whatsoever and I found the sexual empowerment to be truly fulfilling.

You need to manage it correctly and take control from the word go.

Restate your position in this matter "it was FWB" and that's all . So make it so and if it causes him to drop it.. so be it . Look for a new FWB, if you want to.



A FWB + an emotional train wreck + a text message possibly not meant for you + the "L" word = disaster

This would all be so much easier if he weren't so good in bed, right?

Plus I really do enjoy his company, as in the friendship part.

A couple weeks ago he said how messed up and "broken" he was. I laughed and said, "well, I don't want to fix you. I'm only interested in your cvck."

And here my thinking was that I'd have to re-evaluate once I started dating again. Alas, no... He can't have this much of my head space!

if i were to have a fwb i would say.

if i have an itch, i'll call.
if you have an itch, you call.
we don't date, but we can hang out.

if either party finds themselves in a sexual situation with a different party then the fwb is suspended until the parties can re-asses the arrangement.

basically, i don't want to be regularly sleeping with a girl who's out having one night stands with other guys.

the fwb arrangement is there so that people don't have to have one night stands just to have physical pleasure.

Yes, but the text WAS meant for me!

lilith, i'd be willing to be you long distance FWB.

Yes, I can't do sex with more than one person... I planned on taking a break from dating when this whole thing fell into place. I sort of thought it would be nice when I did start dating that there would be no getting into sex too early with them as I would already be getting it from somewhere else...

Thanks, Drew. So sweet of you to offer!

I've heard it works, but in 2 attempts emotions got involved both times(on both sides). I admit I'm not able to separate the two, but then I don't want to.


Don't Panic!

It does sound like your FWB has crossed over to the Dark Side. But if you do not want to join him over there, then stay where you are. BUT as time progresses, I am thinking he is only going to get more feelings. And then the FWB thing will not work for him anymore........You may need to talk to him Lilith. Find out exactly where he stands and then tell him exactly where you are willing to go or not go.

chances are your gonna break the poor guys heart