Is you can forgive ......

But it takes alot of time to get over, doesn't it?


And the worst of it is you don't forget, do you?



EVER?

you dotn get over it, thats why a relationship is over when someone
finds out their spouse has cheated. its sad that people actually do that

Hows the saying go... To forgive is human to forget is divine


Very hard to do if possible. Dont think I could forget.

it should be forgiven-yet thats hard to do. as for forgetting I dont
think you can forget about something like that.espeically when it has
happened to you.

I once had someone tell me that if you can't forget than you haven't
forgiven. However they were talking about lying. I haven't been able
to forget though I've tried very hard. One flaw would be keeping a list
of wrongs instead of rights.

Only brain surgery can remove things in your mind.
You can LEARN from mistakes
When that happens something is gained

I could "forgive" cheating- if by "forgiveness" you mean I don't seek
revenge. But it'd be over, at that moment. Cheaters don't quit- like
every other sexual behavior. Anyone who (willingly) does it once, will
certainly do it again (assuming they physically can). Just that simple.

I can forgive and eventually forget...BUT it doesn't mean I am stupid
enough to hang around and wait for the second time...It's not gonna
happen!!!!!!!!!!

Our we being open enough on cheating and leaving so quickly?


Are we not human and err?


Just a thought or food for thought.

Yea it's kinda hard to forget that you weren't as Important to
them as you once were. Or that you weren't enough to keep them happy.
ORRR that it had nothing to do with you. that their just azzholes &
only think of themselves & think with the wrong head.
I don't forget. I haven't really been cheated on. I lost respect for
people that lie or cheat so there is no getting that back.

What is "cheating"?

To be in breach of contract, of an agreement? Whether it be between two
people, or of self?

WOuld it be fair to say, we have all cheated in some way, even
ourselves? (How often do we say 'I will never do that', whatever it is,
and then find at some point, we have).

So, do we forgive, when we have breached our own sacred contracts with
ourselves, from time to time?

To err is human, it is how we learn, if aware enough of ourselves.

How often do we project onto another, qualities we want to see in them?
And then when they don't meet our expectations, are we disappointed?


For me personally, cheating in a sexual way,or in a faith and trust way,
by a partner, is not about me, but about them, and so really there is
nothing to forgive, other than their human-ness. Which is something I
also am guilty of.


Makes for less sleepness nights, to not hold another above being
human,...I choose not to hold onto another's breach of their own
contracts with themselves.

the problem with cheating is that lots of people are doing it. you may
have morals, ethics, and all that jazz, but when the world thinks it is
okay, what r u going to do about it. go with or against. that is your
choice. personally, if u don't have a relationship, then you don't have
to worry about cheating, now do you.

Yes we are...BUT I have learned not to waste my time anymore on someone
who obviously didn't love me enough NOT to cheat the first time...Let
alone endure the heart-ache of a second time!!!!

We're human, we certainly make mistakes. Forgetting to walk the dog is
an error. Buying the wrong flavor of coke is an error. Betraying the
trust of your partner, and your own sacred word.... crosses past "err"
and nestles comfortably in the area of obsenity.

Far as I'm concerned- cheating is the worst thing a human being can do
that doesn't warrent a prison sentance.

This is about forgiveness for one time perhaps.


This is not about forgetting and rebuilding trust.

which is the hardest damn thing in the world to do .

right?

i never, and i mean never forget to walk the dog because she will pee on
the floor. i never betrayed the trust of my husband, that hunk of
burning love that never cheated on me, but had the roving eye of the
lone ranger. it tore my heart apart, and destroyed our marriage. ask me
what i think of cheating, and i will ask you if you think it is going to
rain.

Nope, the hardest thing in the world to do is letting go. Rebuilding
trust is easier. Which is why some people try to stay after infidelity,
or worse, abuse.

In fact- infidelity *is* emotional abuse.


Like I said- I could forgive someone for cheating. I would not hold a
grudge, nor hate, nor seek to harm them. But I wouldn't stay. I have
self respect.

I find for me, personally, there is nothing to forgive...

What is done is done...

What I do find, is I have to pull apart the beliefs that I had built, in
regarding who the other person is.

The 'wake-up call' is the hardest part, the having to understand that I
expected another human to live, exist, to my standards, and they can't,
they have to live to their own standards.

I say it over and over, is almost a mantra now,

"People always show THEMSELVES, in the end."

They show thenselves for who they are, not what I wanted them to be.

I don't think I could forgive. No matter how much it hurt I
would just say go away. I'm done.
&&& I'm sure I would cry alot. I do that over silly lil things let
alone something like that. \