nothin wrong with that zap

Each of us has been put on earth with the ability to do something well.
We cheat ourselves if we don't use that ability as best we can.

awwwwwwwwwwww nicely put crash

well i have to say once a cheater always a cheater. thats just how i
feal after my ex cheating on me with a girl that was my best friend.
(keyword is was we are not friends now)

To be REAL,,Everyone can make ONE mistake in a
relationship,,,,NO-ONE is perfect in life, and circumstances can allow
someone to be in a place THAT THEY SHOULDN'T BE, but such is
life,,so,,,,
If my ladies for some reason ,,like drinking,,,was to allow
or NOT STOP a dude from getting in her pants,,,,I would be REAL PISSED
and WE would have to TALK LONG and LONG,,about it,,,,but I could forgive
her,,,,,ONCE,,,and
NEVER to another LOVER,,,in her life ON THE SIDE!!

But,,,,if my LADY was to do it once,,drinking,,,,,she BETTER QUIT
DRINKING!!!!! Or I would probably WALK!

nicely put iam

forgiving and forgetting is nothing in comparison for rebuilding
trust... that is soooooo hard... and then it seems to carry over into
other relationships... i hate that... the fact that because someone
cheated on you and now you think that if i leave your side, i am f#&$ing
someone else.... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Interesting discussion. Guess my boundaries are a bit closer in. If I’m
in a relationship where we have agreed we are exclusive, then there is
no other sex partner, period. It’s a matter of integrity. This is what I
bring into any relationship, friend, intimate, business whatever, and if
integrity is compromised, then that is a relationship I choose not to be
engaged in.

It's all good to me. I feel it is much easier to forgive and
forget.........once you have snapped their penis in a very strong rat
trap........All is well.

!! !! !!

Right next to Lorina Bobet

The year she "bobbitized" John, I almost dressed as her for
Halloween....had the stuffed, blooied penis and all.......

omfg Lily


No date That night!

I was cheated on for years, but didn't have the guts to get out because
of his violence and threats to kill me and our daughter. Finally did
obviously get away. I could never forgive his cheating or forget it.
The only thing worse than being cheated on was being beaten, I can't
forgive or forget either. Happened years ago, still can't forget.

the other problem with cheating is that if your partner is unfaithful to
you and you dont know it, you may not be protecting yourself... and your
health is put at risk... because who knows if he/she is using protection
with their other partners... thats very scary...

Noticing that forgive is being tied to forget in several posts, as if
they are one in the same. I have a view on that.
Forgetting is only a temporary condition of the conscience brain.
Everything you ever experience is stored in the brain and is there being
used in some fashion.
Forgiving is something conscientiously done for the self. It really has
nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with
removal of suffering. When you hear the other persons name or remember
the situation and there is no trigger activated or body tension and it
just passes on through, forgiveness has happened.

That is just how it was for me, Tameka. After I found out ALL he'd been
"doing", I found myself....(the wife who hadn't been with anyone other
than him in 10 years)...requesting the necessary STD testing, etc. It
was a very trying time, to say the least.

Good point Camp, people tell me I need to forgive him, but that feels
like that makes what he did okay, and it wasn't okay, not in any way,
shape or form. I get hung up on that, and he is even dead now, so it
only hurts me, and I know it is stupid to hold onto it, but can't seem
to let go.

Your right marie, it’s not ok, wasn’t ok and never will be ok. It’s a
matter of who suffers. I spent 2 solid years working this one out within
myself concerning my X. The thing is, she is still in my life (kids) and
is still pulling all the same tricks: money, deceiving, knifing,,, At
least there is one thing I can count on, she has a predictable behavior.
I don’t know when it’s going to hit or from where. But I had to get
unwrapped from the hurt in all of that before I went nuts.

You're right Camp, I have been working on this issue for some time also,
sure isn't easy. I'm glad you figured it out for yourself, makes your
life some easier, still not easy though.

Guess it is time I work harder on it because it has really been gnawing
at me lately. Take care and thanks for your input.

Good luck to you Marie and my thoughts are with you.
It’s not easy work and it cycles back around at times, especially when
it’s still happening. But, I have to tell you that forgiveness work had
radically improved my life.