psh shows how much you know... I have friends like this.

That's right; we can never be truly sure about the other.

Sometimes, I have disappointed males I saw as platonic because they always hoped for more. Now, I was clueless, of course, so I never saw it and I didn't disappoint them on purpose.

It is also hard for me to tell when someone is interested in me, so I might not have distanced in the friendship as soon as I could have.

On their part? Perhaps they were unsure and stayed longer than they should have because they thought there was a chance for more when I just needed a real friend. Its not fair to them. I guess the same can happen with females, but I think it is more rare.

I have always found it easier to be buddies or acquaintances with males -not intimate friends (like I become with women) for this reason. I have always been afraid to lead someone on and I have never wanted to intentionally hurt anyone's feelings.

Now, in my life, I need a primary partner who is also my best friend. Friendship takes time to develop. Its best to be friends first. How does another person, especially a man, know when a woman wants nothing more than friendship?

How do you solve this dilemma - of not getting involved with someone who is not right for you just because the chemistry is there, but yet having that attraction, chemistry, and romantic love for someone you want to grow slowly in friendship with, too? How can an attractive woman (usually) in good conscience, do that without breaking hearts?

If someone knows the answer to that, please share it with me.

Sure they can, I have plenty of male friends, some that are closer than others, some that are like brothers, no feelings other than friends.

Absolutely! My best friend is a guy. There's no attraction, we view each other more like siblings.

A girl friend to a guy is just a woman he has yet to sleep with.

A guy friend to a girl is a p3ni$ in a glass case; break in case of emergency.

I have 2 best friends that are men and there has never been any feelings other than friendship between us

I have never had a male best friend, but I have seen others who do.

while I may not agree
I must admit this is a refreshing way to look at it

called my male best friend and he is still laughing at this definition

You gals might think it's actually possible, but I assure you it's not.

I've been in this situation many times...have we learned nothing from "When Harry Met Sally"?

I mean, what's the real difference between a best friend and a romantic relationship? Sex

you've so much to learn - but that's the fun part

wishing you all have a safe and happy holidays!!!

you might think so, but i'm willing to bet your male friend had a romantic interest in you at some point. it's just the nature of man

I Think So

You'd lose sunshine great friends for over 35 years. It is possible.

absolutely!!!! Some of my BEST FRIENDS are men!!!!

So are you saying I am not a man?

No, but maybe you're not thinking about the situation possibly being reversed

No she didn't rape me when I was drunk, but she did give me a bath.

The Answer, from my experience, is to make up your mind quickly how you feel about the guy, and be honest and up front about it from the start. Only when the guy knows where he stands can he decide whether he wants to form a platonic friendship with you.

It's also crucial that he be honest with you if he does want more. This doesn't immediately bar you from friendship with him, but it means that it's important that you not act in a way that would send the wrong message and encourage those feelings.

If your unsure, then tell him that too!

When in doubt, it's easier to move from friendship into a relationship than vice-versa.

I tend to agree; although I welcome being proven wrong.

You know, it may be because just like different people have different ideas about what constitutes "sex" - like deep kissing, a hand job, b_j, fondling/groping, cybersex, phonesex, oral, genital, anal, or even BDSM sans sex....so too may different folks define the boundaries differently of what constitutes a "platonic" friendship.

To this, throw into the mix that while you may have nothing but platonic feelings, your friend may have other feelings. Feelings which they may be either open to admitting to you or hiding. Sometimes we even hide our own feelings from ourselves.

No easy answer to this question, I suppose.

True.