Mostly respect; occasionally fear. But, as a teen, when I was fearful, I usually got angry and rebelled verbally. I was a hellion at times, probably with good cause, thinking back.

Despite it all, I knew I was loved. They did the best they could with what emotional tools and strengths they had to work with; which admittedly, at times, wasn't much. I loved them with all my heart and hated them at times. I felt so ashamed for being disrespectful. I was shamed for protecting myself when there was no one else there to do it for me.

He tried to make me obey using fear so I took it and as long as I can remember I counted the days until I could leave.

Started leaving at ten...gone for good at fifteen.

He hasn't spoken to me in thirty-five years despite seeing me at least several times a week. He is now a lonely old bastard with no friends and a family who, besides my mother, abandoned him. He is dying.

Ruling with fear is a mistake. It breeds monsters.

Ruling with respect breeds possibilities.

A little of both, if my mom got that look on her face...we better get out of her way. My mom was the good and bad guy with me growing up. My dad rarely got involved with anything.

fear

fear for my dad
respect for my mom

you're a monster? AHHHHH SHE'S A REAL MONSTER!

I was raised in foster homes. So my anwer would be fear

both

Fear, until I became stronger than the pain. Had I learned respect, then I would have thought upon their words, but anger came first, which took a very long time for me to put away. Then I began to understand, which turned the anger to sorrow for them, mixed with respect. Then, they were gone.

respect all the way to my mother

Our perceptions, subconscious/unconscious as they are, aren't necessarily based in reality, but they can do some number on us and whom we choose to let into our lives.

In my early years I would say respect for me was from fear. But as I aged respect was natrual and it felt right to treat them or speak to them with the upmost respect.

if i didnt show respect than i feared the consequences

I got the total mutual respect thing goin on.

Good point. Small children don't understand a concept like respect yet.

Small children are motivated by love, fear, and need.

When I was older, respect.

After all, I saw my friends and their parents and those relationships and I realized just how lucky I was in having my parents as parents.

Both fear and respect, as well as love. If any of us kids did something unacceptable, certainly my mother would get pissed and give us a verbal lashing. Eventually, my brother and I got to be too big for her to handle, but that never stopped her from telling my Dad when he got home from work, who would be sure to beat our ass if it warranted it.

Of course, I grew up in a time where the parents were in charge and a kid knew their place.

well said