If you found a beautiful new love with someone and then you found out they were dying?

What would you do if this new relationship is maybe only 2 weeks new to you but it is with someone you had been friends with for a while?

Do you back off and keep your distance, knowing that they will die soon and there is pretty much no chance at a long happy future with them?


-or-


Do you continue to love them like crazy and know that even if for a short while, you are blessed to have them in your life, no regrets?

Door #2

spam it

Enjoy what you have...few people will ever have love, at least you would be able to say you did even if only for a limited time.

I couldn't deal with that.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but be careful!I have heard simialar stories on here before, where someone was tricked this very way.Lots of money was spent on this person only to find out it was all a scam.
I am not saying this is the case just be careful.

My friend Tom who died many years ago from brain cancer
told his fiancee that he would not tolerate her staying
with him through his decline which he knew was going to
be brutal and unavoidable as his brain gradually became
useless due to the inoperable and aggressive tumor.

She resisted. She wanted to stay - begged him to stay.
She asked me and some of Tom's closer friends to try to
convince him but we could not. He would not let her. He could
not bear to have her see him get increasingly sick and dependent.

It was very very sad. She eventually gave up as he would not
see her or talk to her. She left and I never saw her again
she was marvelous. Then, I watched Tom die and sometimes
we got together and played guitar and listened to music
until it got really bad.

In another case - here is what Richard Feynman did....

Richard Feynman fell deeply in love with Arlene Greenbaum
while he was finishing his doctorate at Princeton. She was
diagnosed with Tuberculosis and although she was terminally
ill he married her (over the objections of his family) and
moved her to Los Alamos so he could care for her while he
worked on the Manhattan project. They would have only 3
years together before she tragically succumbed to her
illness but his sincere and undying love for Arlene is
documented in many of his writings and recollections even
very late in life - and one of Arlene's comments to him
became the title of one of his books of recollections some
30 years later "What do you care what other people think".



http://www-groups.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~history/Biographies/Feynman.html

oooohhhh, that is a good point, however, any offers I have made concerning money have been shot down by him. Like my ticket to go fly out and see him int he hospital, or me paying for his flight here for recovery, shot down. We have actually fought about it. He simply refuses to take my money.


So I know it is not money.

It is about the respect and budding new love in this relationship.

And we do tend to fight a bit about how I want to be there at his side and he doesn't want me to see him sick.

Anyway, this man drives me crazy, in a very good way, and I am just praying this treatment works, ya know?

Of course I will never regret a minute I have spent with him, but boy oh boy I would really like a lifetime at his side.

I really hope it all works out for you

Choice number 2

take what time you can if the person makes you happy, have no regrets and smile that god allowed you to have time to enjoy with this person.

i agree wholeheartedly ...

I believe that God puts people in our lives

and that He puts us in other people's lives for a purpose

and His Timing is absolutely impeccable


I met a man i grew to love and i was with him for two years
& three months ...We were planning on getting married ...

He was a hard worker & hardly ever slept enough with two very demanding businesses & hauling firewood and finished lumber 6 days & nights a week...

A week before Christmas 1996..he was working exceptionally hard & long hours to be able to take the next week off work
...
He fell from the top of the load of lumber ...two or three pallets high , when he was getting ready to have his lumber removed by the fork lift driver...and somehow he slipped & took the entire fall on the back of his head and he instantly suffered massive head injury ..


He passed away two and half weeks later

& i was completely and totally devastated....


I wanted to die too ...


but it was only by the grace of God
and the love of my Family that strengthened me eventually
to make the long hard journey back to wholeness ...

after my personal tsunami ... the 9/11 that knocked me
off my axis and changed the world entirely as i knew it ...


but , i would do it again in a heartbeat ///

if i could make someone's life more pleasant
in their last days here on Earth

& i believe that knowing my fiance'
for that short amount of time
was truly ordained by God ...


My fiance's Brother told me that his Brother's wife
had been with him for 27 years
and i happened to be with him for only 27 months ...

but he told me that i brought more love and joy to his Brother in that short of a time,

than she did in all of those years






and also... if that wasn't tragic enough


My Ex husband ...my Children's Father

passed away almost 8 years ago ...

suffered a massive stroke on Christmas Day of 2000

due to diabetes & renal dialysis

and he passed away two weeks later at the age of 49

and i had to be there big time for my children

who lost their Dad...





but i believe they are still here with us

i have felt their presence on many occasions







so...Christmastime is very difficult for us


to say the least ...




but, we carry on and do the best we can



"Memory ...


is the Power


to gather Roses ... in Winter

Think about him. How happy he would be if you loved him til the end....

Have you met him in person?

As each day passes we grow one day closer towards death. If you were option number 1 you're destined for loneliness.

Absolutely

I'd choose # 2 always and without reservation...


I had a lady friend Linda ...

whose husband was bi sexual and he gave her AIDS during their marriage

and as if that was not bad enough ...

she lost her only Child when her Daughter

was only 18 due to a very rare disease...

towards the end, Linda chose to quit taking her medication,
cause it was making her soo sick and she wanted

to enjoy what days or weeks she had left ...

It broke my heart to see her go through such pain , and such a tragedy of a life she led...


but i went to see her in hospice,
even though i knew it would hurt so much to see her like that ...but my presence was soo very much appreciated...

and i would not have changed it for anything ...



i feel that i was there for her,

and there are no regrets

sometimes, we have to choose the more difficult of two paths....

knowing that the gift of love and kindness

far exceeds taking the easy way out ...

Always choose the High Road , my Dear....


you will never ever regret it

I'd have to go with the 2nd option. It's better to have loved just a little then never at all.

My heart goes out to you though.

I would say #2 , that's what I would do

Very simply it is better to have loved than not at all. I would take the second choice and pour enough love into him to last a lifetime