She developed feelings for a friend of hers. And yes we went through the arguing and fighting that you would expect. What it came down to is realizing that it is possible to have feellings for more than one person. Im sure there are many people out there who can understand that. Next it was deciding whether it was worth destroying our family over that. To me it wasnt. I firmly beleive that raising a child with their mother and father is best for the child unless the parents cant get along and argue and fight all the time. This was not the case for us. Bringing everything out in the open removed what we were fighting about, which were the lies and jealousy.

So you actually communicated..... there you go.

Happy swinging to you.

Well at least you are honest with each other...hell that beats out 2/3's of relationships.

Should we shag now or shag later?


Yeah Baby!!!

What difference does it make if it happens in the home or not? As I said, kids are not stupid, it WILL affect your daughter sooner or later. You 2 are just postponing the inevitable.

This isnt about swinging and neither of us are hopping into bed with everybody out there.

Some swingers are quite selective..... do you know what swinging means?

Here is a hint: It means people in an open relationship having relations with people other than their spouse.

The worst part is that your daughter sees all of this and learns that if you have a problem in a relationship, just see someone else, because thats what mom and dad did.

I agree...and it will only cause jealousy, heartbreak....AND FIGHTING! The best thing you can do for the child is get out of the situation while you are still getting along. She can have both parents....you don't seem to be as worried about the child as you are convenience....grow up!!!! Ok...I have to leave now before I blow

There are those who will agree with your lifestyle if that's what you're seeking. If you're going to do it, again, please don't use the child as an excuse. I'd hate to think that I found something like this out about my parents and they said I was the reason they chose such a lifestyle.

open marriage?

nope, sorry

my marriage closed years ago

So if you get a divorce, your daughter can't be raised by both parents? Hmmmm, this I disagree with. I am divorced and my ex wife and I get along quite well. We have a 5 year old daughter together and I can tell you, she is a very happy little girl. She gets raised by BOTH of us even though Mommy and Daddy do not live together. We split time with her and she gets a lot of one on one time with Mommy and then Daddy. It's how you deal with the situation. You don't HAVE to live together for the child. A lot of times it makes it worse on the child eventually. JMO

Acutally swinging would mean having sex with multiple partners other than your spouse.Swinging is about sex. This would be considered a polyamorous relationship which means loving more than one person. Sex does not have to be involed.

So you're Mormon?

open marriage...isn't that just another way of saying...its cheaper to keep her

Sounds like you have it all figured out Dude...so what did you need our opinion for? Did you want everyone to jump in and agree and tell you it was ok? I will never understand the concept...IT IS CHEATING no matter how you look at it and it is wrong. I really do hope that you baby grows up to be unaware of all this, but she won't...if your wife has feelings for someone else, your child will sense it...and mark my word....this will not be a good thing for any of you....DIVORCE or seperation....is the only thing that is going to save your child....both of you are being very selfish as far as I am concerned...sex with others does not heal anything....this is the most childish, selfish thing I have ever heard of....and seems you didn't want advice...you just wanted to validate your decision by making excuses for the two of you to cheat.

I have only known two couples who had an open Marriage...one y started their marriage with that understanding. They of course had rules...as you must have in order to not fight and get jealous all the time...such as not bringing someone over to their house, when they were together it was them and them only. If they had feelings for someone they didn't want to meet the person, just see a picture and proof that the person was STD free. They had these boundaries set up. While I do not agree with this lifestyle, because frankly why be married? but it works for some. But the other couple was sort of in your position He knew she liked someone else and they decided on an open Marriage, problem is they didn't set boundaries and later ended up divorced anyway. So if you are going to do it...at least set the boundaries. Good Luck.

Im not going to defend what I am doing. It works for us. My actual post was to anyone currently in an open marriage. Unless you have had to deal with something like this you cannot know what is going on.

I have dealt with something like this....and I took my 5 children on down the road...if you are not happy in your marriage, extra sex won't cure it...if you aren't happy in your marriage, move on...it only makes the child miserable and causes more heartache...I hope all works out for you but I have a strong feeling that all you have read here today will come back and haunt you

i can just imagine


DAUGHTER: mom, will you take me to see the new _________ movie?

MOTHER: well dear, dad has the car, hes taking mommy #3 out to a romantic dinner tonight

DAUGHTER: can you ask daddy #2 to pick us up and take us to the movie then?

MOTHER: he works nights so i`ll just call daddy #5 to take us, plus i`ve developed more feelings for daddy #5 lately